Dear Billy, Sorry I was a bit late in responding, depression got hold of me in the morning.

Thanks a ton my friend. That's a lot of info to chew in. Yes, I have had multiple visits to the Psychiatrist's. But the mistake I did this far, was that I was more focusing on my mental health like OCD, depression, etc. and not so much on my sexuality.

I will start with the GP as he/she needs to be the hub. Thanks once again. Will keep posted.

Regards, raj

raj1tm115 (imported) wrote: Sat May 28, 2022 3:33 am Dear Billy, Sorry I was a bit late in responding, depression got hold of me in the morning.

Thanks a ton my friend. That's a lot of info to chew in. Yes, I have had multiple visits to the Psychiatrist's. But the mistake I did this far, was that I was more focusing on my mental health like OCD, depression, etc. and not so much on my sexuality.

I will start with the GP as he/she needs to be the hub. Thanks once again. Will keep posted.

Regards, raj

No need to apologise. I know how awful it is to find all your your get up and go has got up and gone.

A really big part of my journey was finding out that my profound depression was caused by me not realising I was not a man, because I look just like one in a binary minded world. That was the world in which I grew up.

I think you need to get clear in your mind about what is causing what in your life so you can address them in the right order. To put it another way-

Is your depression and OCD caused by you not being a eunuch even though you identify as one?

or,

Do you want to be castrated to try and control your OCD urges?

I think the difference here is crucial.

As I said earlier, I am no expert. So, with that in mind;

If you in fact have OCD, then cutting bits of your body off may not be appropriate.

However, if you are obsessive about becoming a eunuch because that is how you identify but is not how you are, that's a different matter.

Be sure you are going after the right 'treatment' to make your life better for you. If I were in your place, I think the option for chemical castration could be a good one, as both chemical and surgical will have the same effect. If you get no relief from your OCD, then no harm done. If you do, then you know where to go with your future. But that's just my opinion.

In the mean time, be kind to yourself, even if nature hasn't always.

Billy.

Dear Billy,

Quite a thoughtful mail, thank you once again my friend. I am still reading and thinking about some of the points

It was last July I had a mental breakdown. Till then I never knew I had mental illness and yes it has humbled me... yay!. 'They' say I have OCD and generalized anxiety disorders stemming from PTSD (sexually abused at 14).

But at least a few things are clear to me, at least for now. Yes, I was born a male and yes I had uncontrollable compulsive sexual behaviors. And Yes I have been wanting castration for a long time but I never had the courage to talk about it to anyone. It was only this year I summed up my courage to ask my long-time GP for castration. Knowing me, he was quite surprised... I could tell. But the route got quite hazy because I asked this question in the peak of my mental illness.

Anyway, better late than never is what I think. So I think I need to speak up and boldly say I desire castration. Hope I find the courage . I am narrowing down to a few trans friendly GP clinics here. Will keep posted.

Kind Regards, raj

P.S.: Thanks a ton Valery for leading me to this thread