Superfluous is a very good way to describe how they feel. Not necessarily unwanted, but rather not supposed to be part of my body.

Losethem (imported) wrote: Mon May 09, 2022 8:13 pm Wait a minute, what?? How did they do it?

For me it was always there on some level for as long as I can remember. I can remember feeling at age 5 or so that those parts were not supposed to be on my body. Keeping in mind that age for me was in the mid-1970's, the only things I could find about males wanting those parts of their bodies removed/dealt with was Male to Female transgender people. Initially I thought that is who I was, but when I studied it more as I got older, I realized it wasn't right for me.

Then in the mid-late 1990's the Internet came along and I ran into a Usenet group called alt.eunuchs.questions - it was my first exposure to other men who felt the same way as I did. They were male, wanted to remain male, but all those "foreign growths" between their legs just were not right on their bodies and needed removal.

10 years after that first discovery, I was castrated, then nearly 20 years after the discovery, I became full fledged nullo when I had my penis and scrotum removed.

Becoming a nullo is the single best gift I've ever given myself. I'm so much calmer, relaxed, and engaged with the world than I've ever been.

Thank you for such a thoughtful reply. I remember learning about male to female transgender people when I was much younger and was more interested in the removal of the male genitals than anything else. It was not until later that I read about eunuchs in historical documents that it really clicked for me. It’s wonderful to hear that you are so happy and fulfilled. The notion of my male parts being “foreign growths” is such a good way to put it. It’s not that I dislike them, but that they don’t belong.

I learned about eunuchs since before puberty from Chinese history, when I was growing up in Hong Kong. I have taken great interest in them.

During puberty, around 12 years of age, often times, I dreamed that my penis would grow longer and longer. Of course, it never did. But it grew up to all but just short of 3 inches soft.

At the same time, I also dreamed about being able to take off my genitals like taking off my clothes, and at times, I would dream about having it taken off and forgetting where I left it. I would feel both panicky but also happy to have lost it.

Around that time, since to my disappointment, I realized I couldn't take off my genitals easily, I found out how to tuck my penis back inside my body. I liked both the smooth looked and the pressure my penis felt. I would roll up my jockey shorts into very tight g-strings, just to tightly keep my penis tucked in all day and all night. When I woke up with painful erections tucked inside, I started disliking my hard-on's.

The wish to really become a eunuch took form only after the age of the internet. Once I found out BME, the old Yahoo groups, and EA, I realized I wasn't alone. I also got to learn about real experiences of being castrated.

Very shortly before I discovered EA - just a few months ago... After I was hurt in 2010, I found that my left me with what I called "Marvin the Martian syndrome" from the famous cartoon line https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3fcaXmpZydI - everything down below sort of worked up to the 'magic moment' and then "Where's the Kaboom?...." NOTHING... If I kept trying past that point, it became painful, the same way 'normal' sex would if you tried to keep going w/o giving the a rest break... Major frustration, pretty much worse than not trying...

Docs mostly didn't have a clue about what to do, tried a few drugs, which didn't work, and after a while the GF and I basically gave up... (She hit menopause almost the same time I got hurt, so she wasn't all that bothered by this)

Between non-use and I suspect some of the drugs I was prescribed for various things (a side effect that was never mentioned, but several of them appear on the list of anti-androgenic meds that has been posted here...) my penis has shrunk to less than thumb size, to the point where its hard to grab in order to catheterize.

While I was aware of castration of the historical involuntary and accidental sort, my impression was that it was a quite undesirable state, mentally, socially, and of course sexually.... I thought my inability induced frustration and discomfort was just something I was stuck with, just like all the other frustrations that come with paralysis...

It also didn't help that I was constantly hearing stuff from the larger SCI community that 'Sex is still possible, it's just different' Likely this is true for those w/ traumatic injuries, but I have an ischemic injury that has a lot of different effects, and seems to be the most ignored form of SCI. (There are tons of foundations and researchers working on traumatic injury, I can barely find ANY research on ischemic injuries (I'm told they don't even have an 'animal model' for it) and have been turned down for many studies because I don't have the 'right' kind of injury)

Around the beginning of the year, I stumbled across some eunuch related questions on Quora, that had answers from one or two voluntary eunuchs claiming some intriguing sounding benefits that got me interested enough to look for more information, which pretty quickly got me to EA...

I spent a month or so lurking and reading lots of threads, and the more I read, the more it clicked for me as a possible solution... So I ended up registering and starting to ask more questions... This got me going down the path to where I'm at now, just starting the chemical test.... If it goes well and we find a satisfactory solution to the bone-health issue, I hope to go for surgery in a few months... According to the doc I'm working with, in addition to getting rid of the testicles, it is likely that they can do some other trimming in the area to help with access for cathing...

WheelyCurious

how many times can a person brutally attack his sex and not realize it needed to be removed? I didn't put it into words for a long time but I knew what I needed to do right around the time they began to mature.

I had the realization in college. I wanted to be a film actor. About 24. Wanting to give my balls to a lady had extra meaning. But also,just can't stand the aggression. I also really struggle with the near addictive quality of the sex drive from testes. I've tried every brand of cig and every type of alcohol to deal with the issue. Finally,I'm accepting myself as a eunuch and moving forward at 39.

I was really into mountain biking in my younger years and would fantasize about a crash that resulted in losing my testicles. I also remember seeing female friends and family members and being very envious of the smoothness pretty much since puberty. When I learned about transgender people and in particular transgender women, I remember being very interested in how they would hide their junk to pass. I’ve been using one of the methods I learned from a MTF forum for the past 6 years to hide the bulge and stow my junk out of sight. Your post and the others are very affirming. It’s truly wonderful to hear that you were able to realize your wishes and dreams.

I have been fond of classical ballet since childhood. I was curious about the intimate moment...

What does a male ballet dancer wear under his tights?

How is it possible that male ballet dancers don't have an erection while closely dancing beside their female partners?

Male dancers wear a specialized undergarment called, creatively enough, a dance belt. From a performance standpoint, it keeps everything in place to prevent injury.

From an aesthetic perspective, it "smooths" everything so the groin isn't shown in graphic detail while wearing tights. And it is snug enough that it keeps spontaineous erections from becoming visible.

- - -

That would be what we call a dance belt, which is a special type of jockstrap that keeps your junk out of the way when you need to do all sorts of jumps, pirouettes and splits.

It’s especially padded and lined up front, so no visible penis lines are seen over the tights.

They can be found in all sorts of colours (especially black, white, grey and nude), but the preferred colour to wear onstage is nude, due to its versatility with all sorts of tights.

* * *

https://www.quora.com/How-is-it-possibl ... e-partners

* * *

Dance belt

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dance_belt

How to Wear a Dance Belt

https://www.wikihow.com/Wear-a-Dance-Belt

Valery_V (imported) wrote: Tue May 10, 2022 11:07 pm I have been fond of classical ballet since childhood. I was curious about the intimate moment...

What does a male ballet dancer wear under his tights?

How is it possible that male ballet dancers don't have an erection while closely dancing beside their female partners?

Male dancers wear a specialized undergarment called, creatively enough, a dance belt. From a performance standpoint, it keeps everything in place to prevent injury.

From an aesthetic perspective, it "smooths" everything so the groin isn't shown in graphic detail while wearing tights. And it is snug enough that it keeps spontaineous erections from becoming visible.

- - -

That would be what we call a dance belt, which is a special type of jockstrap that keeps your junk out of the way when you need to do all sorts of jumps, pirouettes and splits.

It’s especially padded and lined up front, so no visible penis lines are seen over the tights.

They can be found in all sorts of colours (especially black, white, grey and nude), but the preferred colour to wear onstage is nude, due to its versatility with all sorts of tights.

* * *

https://www.quora.com/How-is-it-possibl ... e-partners

* * *

Dance belt

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dance_belt

How to Wear a Dance Belt

https://www.wikihow.com/Wear-a-Dance-Belt

I have been tucking (https://www.transhub.org.au/tucking) for the past 6 years. The dance belt seems to work in a similar fashion to some of the other undergarments I’ve seen that are designed to be affirming for folks who don’t identify with male genitalia. They don’t facilitate a tuck but they do compress things so that there is a much less noticeable bulge.

I am now so used to having things tucked away that it feels weird and uncomfortable when my stuff is not tucked.

Jeepfan92 (imported) wrote: Wed May 11, 2022 8:40 am I have been tucking (https://www.transhub.org.au/tucking) for the past 6 years. The dance belt seems to work in a similar fashion to some of the other undergarments I’ve seen that are designed to be affirming for folks who don’t identify with male genitalia. They don’t facilitate a tuck but they do compress things so that there is a much less noticeable bulge.

I am now so used to having things tucked away that it feels weird and uncomfortable when my stuff is not tucked.

As I understand it, TUCKING and pulling down for freedom of movement of large amplitude (ballet splits, etc.) is less convenient and less safe ...

By the way, the presence of some bulge is welcome for a male dancer .

These are all wonderful, thoughtful, and interesting replies. Thank you for asking this question, Jeepfan. It's fascinating to see so many paths to a decision.

I don't have much to add, but I never pass up a chance to talk about myself. I first started questioning my gender at the age of 12. I just didn't feel like I related to any of the other boys my age. But I knew I wasn't a "girl," so I had to be a boy, right?

Then at 13 I learned about castration from a book, Valide, by Barbara Chase-Riboud. She has a scene where a priest describes in great detail the Ottoman process of castration. For many glandular reasons I was a "late bloomer" so even though it got me very, very excited I didn't get erect. In a sense that's when, deep down, I knew I wanted to be castrated.

It's taken me so long to get to this point (I'm 34 now). Partly was learning about and then embracing my non-binary identity (there was a third option, a "third sex," if you will, all along!). Partly was that for so long I thought this was just a fetish because of my initial (and very often subsequent) reaction.

Once I finally moved out on my own (my career journey didn't take the paths I had hoped) and talked to some trans friends, I realized it was time to ditch those freeloaders between my legs. Finish the process that nature had started.