Seeking feedback

[NovaMike (imported)]

I can't help but wonder what motivates the father to have his son live as a eunuch. I am not sure what I would know about eunuchs if I wasn't personally interested in castration.

My personal opinion is that unless the child specifically questions the need to undergo hormone, that he should be on testosterone.

From watching the news, it seems like youth in the United States are starting to "pick" their gender while still minors. There was a story in the news about a gym teacher who said he would not refer to students by their preferred gender if it does not match their biological gender. That would seem to indicate that by the time a child becomes a teen, they are going as either non-binary or starting to transition. If a girl can decide if she wants to be a boy at 14, then why shouldn't this boy be old enough to decide for himself if he wants to be on testosterone or to remain in a pre-puberty state.

[JoeGreenParadox (imported)]

A friend of mine had been a Juvenile Court Judge. Among other things,there were cases where he had to decide which parent received custody of a minor child. The Judges in the circuit had a rule-of-thumb about the child's own request for placement, the ten to fifteen rule. The child's apparent maturity mattered. Still, the ten years and a day little girl, holding her dolly, got only a polite acknowledgement. The fifteen-going-on-sixteen year old, who said "my mother beats me for no reason. If you place me with her, I will run away to live with my father, every chance I get." got placed with her father.

Fourteen or fifteen years old is old enough to ask the kid what he wants, and, within reason, give it to him. The difficult part is persuading Judges or doctors to go along if he wants something else.

Most likely, he wants to be a boy. Not judgmental on my part, just noting typical behaviour. Most people don't want to be "different".

If he wants something else, he needs counseling with a competent counselor immediately. Not to change his mind, but to validate that what he wants is both his own decision, and that it is an educated and informed decision, free from coercion from others.

This is not six years of weekly psychotherapy. More like three or four 55 minute sessions over six weeks.

He will probably then be prepared to make choices that will profoundly affect the rest of his life. The counselor should be able to assess and explain the kid's level of maturity.

I knew guys that were not mature enough to make such a consequential choice until they were twenty.

I also met twelve and thirteen year-olds who were completely prepared, because they had been their disabled mother's sole caretaker for five or six years, and understood consequences. I cannot imagine how they pulled it off, but they had. I couldn't have done that.

[Valery_V (imported)]

The boy is "nerd" and "clean". At about his age I had to be in similar conditions (in the summer school of the winners of the regional mathematical Olympiad). Six of us lived in one residential part (bedroom + kitchen and bathroom) of the hostel. Nobody gave a damn about smells and stuff. But the attendants regularly came, checked and forced us to clean up after ourselves and keep everything clean.

It seems to me that no one would pay attention to physical disabilities. True, it was still a specific company, consisting of "nerds".

[Paolo]

You have my input and opinion on the matter from our chat tonight!

But for the readers here, my thoughts are that the boy should do what HE wants to do. It's likely that he will turn out/is male "between the ears", which is where it matters - not with what's between the legs.

Whether he (they?) decide on Non-binary, agender, gender-fluid, whatever - the decision should be left to "Our Friend, Jack", and no one else.

Is "Jack" too young to make this decision? I don't think so. It sounds as if he's quite intelligent.

I just hope that whatever decision he makes, he makes it for HIMSELF, and not out of some sense of hoping to please others.

[notsomanly (imported)]

You have my input and opinion on the matter from our chat tonight!

But for the readers here, my thoughts are that the boy should do what HE wants to do. It's likely that he will turn out/is male "between the ears", which is where it matters - not with what's between the legs.

Whether he (they?) decide on Non-binary, agender, gender-fluid, whatever - the decision should be left to "Our Friend, Jack", and no one else.

Is "Jack" too young to make this decision? I don't think so. It sounds as if he's quite intelligent.

I just hope that whatever decision he makes, he makes it for HIMSELF, and not out of some sense of hoping to please others.

I agree completely. If it were me, I would present the boy with the opportunity to explore all the possibilities for his future, including remaining free of testosterone and transitioning to female. The problem is that the hospital seems dead set on testosterone replacement as the only option. Sadly, this is the only option available to any of us by the medical community. My own endocrinologist is a good listener and hears my desire to be given a prescription for estradiol, but this option is "not indicated" for someone identified as male at birth. I think the hospital should offer any option, ultimately chosen by the boy.

[seanthomas (imported)]

This is like trying to solve the murder two minutes into an Agatha Christy movie. Simply insufficient information to render an opinion.