Hi Erikboy. I am excited for you for your second trial. I am actually waiting for a3 month supply of androcur at the moment. Not decided when i will take it yet, but anyway besides the point. I started a record the first and second time i chemically castrated. Bought a pair of callipers to measure my testicles. Thought out how the book would look for read of entry and data to collect. As soon as castration kicked in i lost all interest in it. Once castrated, one loses all interest in it, and all the cock and ball size, masturbation frequency, amount of ejaculate stuff just become of no interest. I have seen on here a lot, guys posting like crazy before castration and then disappearing. It was such a wonderful experience ( appart from a couple of bad side effects) being castrated. Good luck with your journal, but don't be surprised or disappointed if once your T drops, so does your interest in it.

Cseriess (imported) wrote: Thu May 16, 2019 7:42 am Hi Erikboy. I am excited for you for your second trial. I am actually waiting for a3 month supply of androcur at the moment. Not decided when i will take it yet, but anyway besides the point. I started a record the first and second time i chemically castrated. Bought a pair of callipers to measure my testicles. Thought out how the book would look for read of entry and data to collect. As soon as castration kicked in i lost all interest in it. Once castrated, one loses all interest in it, and all the cock and ball size, masturbation frequency, amount of ejaculate stuff just become of no interest. I have seen on here a lot, guys posting like crazy before castration and then disappearing. It was such a wonderful experience ( appart from a couple of bad side effects) being castrated. Good luck with your journal, but don't be surprised or disappointed if once your T drops, so does your interest in it.

This was exactly my experience. Once my libido dropped to almost zero all of my sexual fantasies and obsessions went with it. This has been one of the best aspects of having low T. I feel much more objective about my life and my body. Enjoying my growing boobs has become a lot of fun, but it's not an obsession; just fascination with the feminizing new me. As others have reported on estradiol and progesterone, I do have a much milder and much different sexuality. I've lost interest in masturbating with my penis but have enjoyed experiencing new orgasms brought on by rubbing my nipples. I don't know how this compares with a cis-gender woman's orgasms, but it certainly feels different. I could not have predicted the course I followed once I started suppressing T, but it has been all for the good so far.

Cseriess (imported) wrote: Thu May 16, 2019 7:42 am don't be surprised or disappointed if once your T drops, so does your interest in it.

First trial ended because my supply was short and I was not able to get more. I wanted to continue. Yes excitement along with interest in porn vanished, but I liked that interesting state of mind. I experienced that elusive "eunuch calm".

The mental and emotional effects where incredible! I loved being castrated. It was just the physical side effects i couldn't live with.

Cseriess (imported) wrote: Thu May 16, 2019 1:30 pm The mental and emotional effects where incredible! I loved being castrated. It was just the physical side effects i couldn't live with.

I had some side effects on Androcur, mainly shortness of breath and brain fogginess. Killing my testicles and going on estradiol seem to be having no unwanted side effects at all. I'm energetic, my mind is sharp, eunuch calm, libido way down and I'm happier than ever. Adjusting to my feminizing body has been a revelation. I noticed that my panties fit amazingly well but eventually realized that they were a pair of my wife's. I hadn't noticed that my fat distribution had started to change.

T+4

It is not yet full 4 days, but I notice first mild signs of castration already. They are mild, so many would not think they are related. As I already have one experience I can tell that all together they are related.

Today I woke up in the middle of the night and it was difficult to get sleep again. Also no morning wood today. Very slight joint pain. Muscle weakness, also hardly noticeable, only when you lift heavy stuff or try to hold difficult poses.

My dosage has been:

1 - 50

2 - 150

3 - 200

4 - 200

I spread doses over the day.

Otherwise I feel excited and happy.

T+5

dosage for today 200mg.

About the mild signs I am noticing now.

My temperature regulation does not work as good as before. I get sweated and cold more easily. Also my skin fools hot for no reason at times. Thats what I experienced last time too, but dismissed them as not related to Androcur.

I wake up at nights.

Yesturday and today I did not have morning woods. But this can partly attributed to physically very active days. Partly. Today I woke up with phantom erection. Feeling like I have an erection, but in reality there was none. But after a manual stimulation I got hard as a rock. But reaching an orgasm took longer than usual and orgasm felt bland. With no force in ejaculation.

I feel my movements to be slower. I need more time to do stuff.

Went to pee, suddenly I felt like I did not hold my penis. Instead it felt more like instrument for peeing, no different than holding a finger. I remembered my boyhood again, it felt the same when I went to pee.

There is no signs of being out of breath.

Knowing that I am at good health, having good levels of hemoglobine, vitamin D and B12 and taking calcium, diminishes my worries over my health.

Yesturday I felt happy and energetic and upbeat about becoming chemically castrated. I have no worries about bad side effects.

Suddenly I realized that sex drive is addicting. Having a very small libido of a prepubescent boy seemed natural to me. Desireable. I still can do the same stuff I liked so far, only without that sex drive and weird fetishes that is difficult to satisfy. I never felt my sexuality being part of my personality. These are absolutely different things I never get confused about. Meanwhile I have seen many people, actually most of people whose sexuality is an integral, and unseparable part of personality. Their castration will lead to deep depression I guess.

I admit, that getting castrated is one of my fetishes too. It made me doubt if getting castrated is really for me. Thats what I want to be sure about this time.

There is still a weird psychological reaction, when I see or talk to or cowork with obvious alpha males. I feel like I need to compete with them, but as a boy or a castrated male I feel inferior, incomplete, and it feels unpleasant to position myself under them, despite I know that I might be superior to them in other aspects that really matter. I guess it is a natural reflex

One big obstacle on the way of becoming an eunuch were deep desire to have children. Again a natural reflex. There were two ways to resolve that problem. Either to freeze semen or have children. So, by now I have my own children, and I love them very much. Obstacle removed.

I should have no reason for depression, despite I know that brain chemistry is being altered with Androcur.

T+7

I am continuing with 200mg per day dosage until thursday, then drop to 150mg per day, as changes have been initialised already.

I am going through change right now. From male to eunuch. It is all exciting. Even negative effects feel exciting as they confirm that changes are going on inside me. I wonder if I was surgically castrated would I notice similar changes? I suspect that surgical castration would feel little different. No effect on corticosteroids and progesterone.

Today morning I had phantom erection. I felt very clearly like it is getting hard. But when I touched, it, my penis was far from hardness. Just swollen little. But I was able to get it hard after some manipulation. Though it did not get rock hard as before and I did not use hardness to have an orgasm.

Today I felt so called eunuch calm for a brief moment. that was nice. I also feel my brain working differently. It is hard to explain. In the morning I felt "detached". Coffee helped. Sleep is bad, shallow, difficult to fall asleep, but as it is very important for a new eunuch to have a good rest, I take naps during a day and evening.

I feel that I am slow. When I do ordinary things I usually do not think how to move my hands or what piece to take first. Sometimes I get lost during these routines. Like I tried to take a key from my pocket, but I had a bag in my hand. I had to stop and think how to free my hand, to get the key. Normally I don't put any thought into such trivialities.

My sexdrive seem to be reduced. If I had to get naked in the public, I wouldn't feel any danger getting hard. I already notice, it is more difficult to get hard if I wanted.

I am happy about changes I have noticed so far and I am so curious and excited about what is coming.

erikboy (imported) wrote: Wed May 22, 2019 2:14 am T+7

I am continuing with 200mg per day dosage until thursday, then drop to 150mg per day, as changes have been initialised already.

I am going through change right now. From male to eunuch. It is all exciting. Even negative effects feel exciting as they confirm that changes are going on inside me. I wonder if I was surgically castrated would I notice similar changes? I suspect that surgical castration would feel little different. No effect on corticosteroids and progesterone.

Today morning I had phantom erection. I felt very clearly like it is getting hard. But when I touched, it, my penis was far from hardness. Just swollen little. But I was able to get it hard after some manipulation. Though it did not get rock hard as before and I did not use hardness to have an orgasm.

Today I felt so called eunuch calm for a brief moment. that was nice. I also feel my brain working differently. It is hard to explain. In the morning I felt "detached". Coffee helped. Sleep is bad, shallow, difficult to fall asleep, but as it is very important for a new eunuch to have a good rest, I take naps during a day and evening.

I feel that I am slow. When I do ordinary things I usually do not think how to move my hands or what piece to take first. Sometimes I get lost during these routines. Like I tried to take a key from my pocket, but I had a bag in my hand. I had to stop and think how to free my hand, to get the key. Normally I don't put any thought into such trivialities.

My sexdrive seem to be reduced. If I had to get naked in the public, I wouldn't feel any danger getting hard. I already notice, it is more difficult to get hard if I wanted.

I am happy about changes I have noticed so far and I am so curious and excited about what is coming.

After a couple of weeks you should be able to drop down below 100 mg/day. Once you've completely suppressed T production with Androcur, taking more won't do anything other than increase side effects. I was able to drop down to 25 mg/day with no return in testicular function.

T+7

erikboy (imported) wrote: Wed May 22, 2019 2:14 am I am happy about changes I have noticed so far and I am so curious and excited about what is coming.

Congrats. Keep up the great work and make sure you always keep enough on hand so you don't miss any doses to maintain your progress.