Shame and regret...but I’d do it again!

[cutnbulls2ox (imported)]

Its more common for older men to be eunichs than among younger men. There doesn t seem to be a big negative reaction or image among older men. Younger men do view men of their age different because sex is such a big thing for younger men. Reproduction is a huge facet of being a younger man. So, younger men have greater difficulty dealing with castration and its affects on a man than older men do. Most older men are experiencing some partial castration affects on their body from age alone. They can handle the topic better than most younger men can.

[seanthomas (imported)]

My beautiful young wife suffered emotionally over her appearance when she lost her left eye to cancer. Years later what she said she truly regretted was not the loss of the eye, but allowing her vanity, insecurities and poor self-image to rob her of several years of fully enjoying life.

It may sound over simplified, but it really is very simple. We all have control over our emotions if we can just resolve to exercise that control. Don’t allow insecurities or regrets over anything rob you of fully enjoying your life and your unique status as a eunuch.

And as for feeling less of a man, know that true masculinity emanates from the mind and not the balls.

[TopManFL (imported)]

TopMan, thanks for that reply. And LoseThem, you’re a sweetheart as usual ��

The difference between being castrated vs. having a surgical scar is that we live in a gendered world.

“Not having balls” means a lot of things a scar does not.

I agree 100 percent.

Our society does consider testicles to be the seat of manhood.

In the same way that we endow a female's breast with being a woman.

I'm not a female who's lost her breast to cancer. Neither am I a man whose testicles have been removed.

Our society also has many other "norms" which can lead to people feeling inadequate because they don't fit in that mode.

Being "potty trained" is also something our society expects adults to have accomplished.

My mother lost her colon about 30 years before she passed away. It was an emergency because a blood clot had cut off the blood supply to her colon; it was gangrenous and causing sepsis. There was no long run up to her losing her colon. She just woke up from surgery with a bag attached to her side and her small intestines draining into the bag. It turns out that if a person drinks enough water and keeps electrolytes in their diet it is possible to live without a colon.

I can't imagine what her reaction was like and I was there watching her. At first she was a bit embarrassed by it. She even had several accidents. One was in the bathroom at a restaurant they'd stopped at while in their RV. She literally had poop all over her clothes. A woman came in and my mother from behind the stall door asked her to help. She just needed a change of clothes (thank the gods in heaven they were in the RV) and her ostomy "kit".

She didn't know this woman. Yet, the lady went out, found my dad told him what happened. He brought the change of clothes and the "kit" and the lady took them to my mom. The lady insisted on helping my mother get cleaned up and this stranger even went to the management and asked them to send someone in with a mop after they left the lady's room.

I'm not sure if having an ostomy is equal to having no testicles.

I do know that your feelings are real and I'm not trying to diminish them at all.

My mom joined an ostomy group in the city where she lived. She would visit people at their homes who were going to have ostomy surgery. Most ostomy's are placed in a planned operation due to a chronic illness being treated with surgery. Cancer is another reason ostomy surgery is needed. Most people get to plan the placement of the stoma (the hole) based on the kind of clothes they wear if the surgery is planned.

She'd also go to the hospital and visit with people who had emergency surgery or perhaps had been missed prior to surgery.

People with a new ostomy had so many fears. Would they still be able to play with their grand kids? Could they travel? What about airport security? Sports? The smell? How to tell family and friends that they have no control over passing gas and it would make "sounds"?

My mom told them that her grand kids had never know her without the ostomy and she played with them, held them and baby sat with them. She shared having traveled to Alaska, going on multiple cruises, taking a train trip through Canada, visiting California from going to the Rose Bowl to Lake Tahoe and more. Airport security is aware that many people have had an ostomy put in and she'd never had a problem. She actually was still on her bowling team for about five years after getting the ostomy. But broke her shoulder and had to give it up. The smell is a problem - she admitted that. But, there were deodorants to put in a clean bag that helped a great deal. As far as uncontrolled sounds, everyone of her family and friends knew about it and didn't care.

I can't speak for my mom. From the outside looking at her life I think going to visit people with a new or planned ostomy helped her as much as it helped them. I know she did it for years and assumed if it wasn't helping her, she'd have stopped.

On here, you have the same ability. You can support those thinking of becoming a eunuch. Further, you can offer support to those who've lost testicles because of cancer or other health reasons.

Your experience is so valuable. Your strength is needed in this community. Your hope is priceless to those that are feeling hopeless.

I'm so glad you are here and that you are sharing and enriching this community with your story.

Thank you so much.

[Qunuch81 (imported)]

Thank you seanthomas and TopMan for those responses and stories. Good perspectives. I doubt I’d feel this way if my balls had been taken involuntarily, due to illness. In that situation you’re “a survivor” rather than “a pussy.” I do find though that reading about men getting castrated voluntarily helps me realize I’m part of a larger community. Like so many things, the silence contributes a great deal to the stigma. Come to think of it, I bet this is how “gay” felt for many men in more difficult times. I’ve actually been toying with the idea of speaking publicly about our community and my own status. That might help a lot...and not just me.

[seanthomas (imported)]

Thank you seanthomas and TopMan for those responses and stories. Good perspectives. I doubt I’d feel this way if my balls had been taken involuntarily, due to illness. In that situation you’re “a survivor” rather than “a pussy.” I do find though that reading about men getting castrated voluntarily helps me realize I’m part of a larger community. Like so many things, the silence contributes a great deal to the stigma. Come to think of it, I bet this is how “gay” felt for many men in more difficult times. I’ve actually been toying with the idea of speaking publicly about our community and my own status. That might help a lot...and not just me.

My wife has occasionally been asked by her former surgeons to speak to women and children (strangely, never a male) who have just lost an eye and though initially far from intrepid, she soon came to love the opportunities. When she shows up with an eye patch and big smile she said it always had an impact. Yet the patients were not the only beneficiaries and it really gave my wife a sense of accomplishment, comradeship and even joy and she maintains contact with many of them. Although I am not ready to openly discuss my castration in public, I do maintain a personal blog to share my thoughts with men facing castration due to prostate or testicular cancer. However, I welcome those seeking voluntary castration with open arms and somehow can relate.

[daifu-orchid (imported)]

Thank you seanthomas and TopMan for those responses and stories. Good perspectives. I doubt I’d feel this way if my balls had been taken involuntarily, due to illness. In that situation you

’re “a survivor” rather than “a pussy.”

I do find though that reading about men getting castrated voluntarily helps me realize I’m part of a larger community. Like so many things, the silence contributes a great deal to the stigma. Come to think of it, I bet this is how “gay” felt for many men in more difficult times. I’ve actually been toying with the idea of speaking publicly about our community and my own status. That might help a lot...and not just me.

There is so much difference in perception. For castration, I was a survivor. aka a bump in life that has to be overcome if possible. It sounds nice, and brave but it isn't the choice it appears to be. We have to do these things and help others get through them too. That is how it is to be a fellow of the species.

Now, I try to get ready for wholly elective and maybe even more life-changing surgery. While I'll be as open as I can about it, society places a stigma on procedures of this kind, even though the surgical adventure is likely to be a considerable challenge. Maybe it is the good folks of EA who bring much of the wider support of "survivor" to our more narrowly defined group here?

Anyone can cheer for the "survivor". - Good folks here cheer for even those of little cheer.

[Qunuch81 (imported)]

There is so much difference in perception. For castration, I was a survivorMaybe it is the good folks of EA who bring much of the wider support of "survivor" to our more narrowly defined group here?

Anyone can cheer for the "survivor". - Good folks here cheer for even those of little cheer.

Well and beautifully put. I think I need to spend more time on EA.

[Qunuch81 (imported)]

Daifu, if you don’t mind sharing, what is your upcoming elective surgery?

[daifu-orchid (imported)]

The answer is that after much consideration, I'd like to be a nullo.

I am happy to have decided and much look forward to it all being done. Maybe I'll blog the reasons if there is interest.

I'm apprehensive about the process but very much looking forward to the opportunities.

[Qunuch81 (imported)]

Congrats!! And yes, I’d be interested in hearing the reasons.