The Swordfish has few natural predators except for the Pen Fish which is said to be mightier than the Sword(fish)

Question: What's the difference between Swine-Flu and Bird Flu?

Answer: One requires Tweetment and the other requires Oinkment.

Q: Is Google male or female?

A: Female, because it doesn't let you finish a sentence before making a suggestion.

There was a huge fight at the Seafood Restaurant ...

Battered fish lay everywhere

Did you hear about Harry? He had a fight with a Cabbage Salad -

He fought the Slaw and the Slaw won

As a dedicated Carnivorous Vegetarian, I can only eat carnivorous plants

I have a great joke about mathematics but I'm 2² to say it...

Some of these are funny.

Airlines dropped the term “stewardess” in 1974, yet people still predominantly use it today.

Five rather eclectic and exotic puns appeared in my mail box, so I took them for this post:

The raves about my next-to-last place finish glad-hand my heart.

The horny housewife got caught boff fingerpost man.

When Elvis first appeared on TV people asked, “Didja see that chirocracy possessed?”

I thought a bareknuckle was found on a ship’s hull.

Friends told Alan Sheppard, “Manumission was a great success!”

A horse goes into a bar and orders a pint.

The bartender says: "You know, you come in here quite often. Do you think you might be an alcoholic?"

The horse answers: "I don't think I am." and promptly disappears.

You see, this is a joke about Rene Descartes famous philosophical statement "Cogito Ergo Sum." (Translation: "I think, therefore I am.")

But if I would have said that first before the rest of the joke, it would have been putting Descartes before the horse.