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Re: Introduction on a "sick" man

Posted: Mon Dec 24, 2012 12:04 pm
by nicnic1988 (imported)
JesusA (imported) wrote: Mon Dec 24, 2012 11:45 am A second expert, a Canadian, has now responded to my request for advice. He is away from home for the holidays, but he suggested the Dunkelfeld Project in Germany as possibly the best resource anywhere in the world for you to contact. They have locations in six cities in Germany, including Berlin, Kiel, Hamburg, and Regensberg. Their German language web site is at

http://www.kein-taeter-werden.de/

There is a link to an English language site from that page for anyone else who is interested.

I allready called them last week and will get a first appointment very early next year.

Thanks for contacting these people. If I understood it correctly he considers the surgical castration as a proportinate option... I am kind of relieved that someone else sees it that way and I am not totally mad...

Re: Introduction on a "sick" man

Posted: Tue Jan 01, 2013 5:20 pm
by Gunpowder (imported)
Getting castrated in Germany is impossible unless you have already commited a crime. For prevention it will not be done. This is what the medical association (Ärztekammer) said.

Re: Introduction on a "sick" man

Posted: Wed Jan 02, 2013 7:55 am
by janekane (imported)
nicnic1988 (imported) wrote: Mon Dec 24, 2012 12:04 pm I allready called them last week and will get a first appointment very early next year.

Thanks for contacting these people. If I understood it correctly he considers the surgical castration as a proportinate option... I am kind of relieved that someone else sees it that way and I am not totally mad...

Ich weiß nicht, was soll es bedeuten,

Daß ich so traurig bin;

Ein Märchen aus alten Zeiten,

Das kommt mir nicht aus dem Sinn.

Die Luft ist kühl, und es dunkelt,

Und ruhig fließt der Rhein;

Der Gipfel des Berges funkelt

In Abendsonnenschein.

From Heinrich Heine, Die Lorelei

In englischer Sprache, my translation:

I do not know what it means,

That I am so troubled;

An ancient story,

That I cannot get out of my mind.

The air is cool, and it is getting dark,

And the River Rhine flows peacefully;

The mountain peaks sparkle

In evening sunlight.

I am a Wisconsin Registered Professional Engineer, having undergraduate and doctoral degrees in bioengineering, whose ongoing research focus is the neurobiology of child abuse and the effects of child abuse, as a biological, not merely social, human predicament. My research field work has given me many hundreds of contact hours with people who were abused as children and who became child abusers, some of whom I surmise are not likely to ever get out of prison.

In my work child abuse is not mainly what is now considered to be child sexual abuse, though child sexual abuse is, in my view, clearly the result of one or another form of experienced abuse. The most profoundly tragic aspect of child abuse, in my work, is the way child abuse tends to result in most people who experienced child abuse blocking out conscious awareness of their childhood abuse experiences.

In one school, in California, I was horribly, horribly abused by my teacher and the school principal. In one school in Wisconsin, I was sexually molested after a teacher so ridiculed me before his class that one of my classmates very improperly grabbed me where being grabbed was horribly wrong. I am autistic and transgendered, and am vividly aware of what it is to be abused in ways society defines, in profoundly disastrous error, to not be abuse.

To the extent that society demands that one has to commit a crime in order to get the help that might have prevented the crime, I find that attitude to be an unconscionably abusive atrocity.

From the English language version of Prevention Project Dunkelfeld:

Do you like children in ways you shouldn't?

According to scientific research, up to one percent of all men have sexual fantasies directed towards children. This means, they have a partial or exclusive sexual preference in terms of pedophilia or hebephilia. Causes for these sexual preference disorders are generally unknown.

My best estimate is that there is less than one chance in ten thousand that the bioengineering research I have done has not accurately recognized the "Causes for these sexual preference disorders..." The cause, in my view, is to be found in the processes of human social evolution. A proper account of this view is my main work focus, and the account is not yet completed in word form.

In my work the cause of damaging sexual preferences is not particularly different from the cause of any, and every, other form of human destructiveness; I have never found any human destructive act that was not a response to a prior human destructive act.

When children are treated in destructive ways because of social norms and conventions, the destructive effects of such treatment do not go away merely by ignoring them.

Everything I have learned about Prevention Project Dunkelfeld informs me that they may be an excellent resource for preventing criminal sexual conduct involving children.

Re: Introduction on a "sick" man

Posted: Wed Jan 02, 2013 8:41 am
by Jorge2008 (imported)
OK, but I think this concerns physical castration only. I guess chemical castration is still used. At least it is used in Estonia, I just had to find the right doc.
Gunpowder (imported) wrote: Tue Jan 01, 2013 5:20 pm Getting castrated in Germany is impossible unless you have already commited a crime. For prevention it will not be done. This is what the medical association (Ärztekammer) said.

Re: Introduction on a "sick" man

Posted: Wed Jan 02, 2013 2:17 pm
by Cainanite (imported)
I feel I should respond to this thread, as I can identify with nicnic1988. I too have suffered with these sorts of feeling, and I too would never want to actually harm a child.

One of my best coping methods has been to recognize that what I am thinking and feeling inside is NOT unhealthy or wrong. When I spent all my effort trying to suppress and control my thoughts and feelings I became more and more depressed and angry. That is something that repeatedly put me on the path to self destruction. I needed to recognize that I should instead indulge in the fantasy while keeping the reality separate.

I think of it this way. Some people love gangster stories about killing cops and robbing banks. They indulge the fantasy and watch every gangster movie, read every gangster book, and even dream about what life might be like as a gangster. Yet, they would never actually join a gang, rob a bank, or ever kill someone. They just enjoy the story.

That is what I do. I can think about something that society shuns. I can indulge that fantasy. All I needed to do was recognize that it is a fantasy, and it is a mental need of mine that I occasionally must feed. As the fantasy is satiated, my real life comes more and more into my control.

The important thing is that this is properly contained so that it does not bleed out into your real life. If you feel like you are truly at a point in your life where you actually might harm a child, then I would certainly agree that you should seek a solution like chemical castration to bring your desires into a more manageable state. If you are in crisis, you need to do what you must. You need to protect yourself as much as an innocent child. Just don't think of castration as the end of your journey. This is something that exists in your mind, not your gonads.

I for one have tried and failed with therapy. I live in a country where if I reveal the wrong thing to a psychologist, I could end up with a destroyed life, even if my fantasy has never crossed the line into reality. I would be putting myself at the mercy of a therapist and their mere opinion of me. It is just too large a risk for me to take.

What I do instead is to indulge my fantasy. I read stories that fulfill that need, and I write them too. It gives my brain a safe place to expend that energy. By doing so, I harm no one.

You may well be able to suppress your sexual need, but you cannot suppress your mind. It will still be with you. Find a safe outlet for your energy, and do not do anything permanent and irreversible to yourself while you are still finding your path in life. Remember, you need to protect yourself, as much as you need to protect those innocent children.

I want you to keep that in mind as you move forward on your journey. Castration will only treat an outward symptom. It will not treat the cause. The only way to treat the cause is to find a way to safely deal with who you are, and what you mentally need. Your hormones may be the fuel to the fire, but your hormones are not the spark that started it.

If you can find a safe outlet for your desires, then you don't have to think of yourself as flawed or dangerous. You do not have to punish yourself anymore. Just find a safe place to deal with those needs, and the rest of your life will fall into your control.

Also, know you are not alone in your situation. I know how you feel. I've been there too.

Re: Introduction on a "sick" man

Posted: Fri Jan 04, 2013 2:58 am
by nicnic1988 (imported)
Gunpowder (imported) wrote: Tue Jan 01, 2013 5:20 pm Getting castrated in Germany is impossible unless you have already commited a crime. For prevention it will not be done. This is what the medical association (Ärztekammer) said.

Maybe not for prevention, but for psychological reasons... At least that is what the law says... I know about the involved moral issues on castration, especially in germany and its past but it would be much more immoral to refuse a castration with the result of a crime or suicide. When I think surgical castration is the right choice and they refuse it I will do it without their help.

@Cainanite:

I Dont try to suppress these fantasies (I know I cant)... But the problem is that they are extremely intrusive and if I have them I am unable to do anything productive. I find it very difficult to control my thoughts... Maybe because of an autistic disorder I have.

Re: Introduction on a "sick" man

Posted: Fri Jan 04, 2013 3:46 pm
by Cainanite (imported)
nicnic1988 (imported) wrote: Fri Jan 04, 2013 2:58 am @Cainanite:

I Dont try to suppress these fantasies (I know I cant)... But the problem is that they are extremely intrusive and if I have them I am unable to do anything productive. I find it very difficult to control my thoughts... Maybe because of an autistic disorder I have.

I do understand what you mean. My suggestion would be to provide a regular and safe outlet for yourself. Maybe for you that would mean only at a certain time of day, and only for a certain length of time. Train yourself to find your release when it won't interfere with your normal life. It may take time, but you can do it.

As I said, if you are in crisis you need to do what is best for yourself. Just remember to hold physical castration as an absolute last resort. Also remember that your thoughts and feelings will still be with you, even post castration. From what I have read from you, it is controlling your thoughts that is the problem, not controlling your hormones. One thing does not exactly equal the other.

I really hope you can find the help you need. We are here if you need us.

Re: Introduction on a "sick" man

Posted: Tue Jan 08, 2013 1:32 pm
by nicnic1988 (imported)
My first appointment is on thursday... I hope this will be something helpful...

Re: Introduction on a "sick" man

Posted: Tue Jan 08, 2013 7:34 pm
by Uncle Flo (imported)
We hope so too. --FLO--

Re: Introduction on a "sick" man

Posted: Tue Jan 08, 2013 8:01 pm
by justjustin (imported)
Good luck - for you and for others too. I think you are right and hope you get what you need.