moi621 (imported) wrote: Fri Sep 21, 2012 4:49 pm I guess what continues to strike me is even to date there seems to be insufficient support for the partners of the catastrophically wounded.

I don't know if it could have made a difference for the gal who just left the note.

I do believe a proper program could improve the odds of a couple staying together.

A successful partner has to "accept" a very different life too.

Moi

In my sincere and honest opinion, she did him a favor, yes, favor, by leaving him. She "showed her true colors" when she ran out, poor fellow needed to know that his girlfriend was a flake and it is best he find out sooner rather than later - later as in after she was in a sham marriage with him and divorces him after the minimum three years to end up getting half of all his pay and benefits for the rest of her life. It might make for a nice fairy tale where "the sweet princess remained faithful and loyal to her love... blah blah blah" but that is just not the way things are. The wounded man is much better of without this shallow insipid bitch who cannot deal with a little hardship.

DeaconBlues (imported) wrote: Mon Oct 01, 2012 7:30 am In my sincere and honest opinion, she did him a favor, yes, favor, by leaving him. She "showed her true colors" when she ran out, poor fellow needed to know that his girlfriend was a flake and it is best he find out sooner rather than later - later as in after she was in a sham marriage with him and divorces him after the minimum three years to end up getting half of all his pay and benefits for the rest of her life. It might make for a nice fairy tale where "the sweet princess remained faithful and loyal to her love... blah blah blah" but that is just not the way things are. The wounded man is much better of without this shallow insipid bitch who cannot deal with a little hardship.

The thing in these cases is that sometimes the emotional devastation of the guy is too much for anyone to be expected to support. Maybe the woman actually was supportive but got tired of him being depressed and needy. There is nothing worse than being in a relationship where someone needs to be emotionally propped up all the time. It is one thing to support someone who is physically disabled, it is nice to support someone through some tough times, but it is another thing to have the rest of your life pulled down by someone in continual deep depression.

Anyway, just saying we're only hearing one side of the story here. She may not have actually been shallow and it may have little to do with his lack of genitals -- he also has a responsibility to avoid pessimism and make the most out of life as he can.

More, an easy argument, can be done to keep couples together.

I do not envision Psychologist, Social Workers, Welfare

but a "therapeutic friends" effect.

DB

Decades ago I was engaged to a Physical Medicine and Rehab doc.

I remember she shared the philosophy that they felt if the lady was

going to ditch the scene. Sooner rather then later was the Rx.

Maybe the case in point today was aided by "therapy".

Disappearing is certainly better then trying to be reasonable about leaving.

He can't do much about "it" to change.

Moi

You know what the worst part is? It's all for nothing. Everyone knows as soon as we leave Afghanistan, the puppet government we set up, will fall. Just like Vietnam for us and the French and just like The Soviet Union and every other country that ever tried to invade Afghanistan and set up a puppet government. All these men dying. All these men with horrible injuries and all of them with horrible memories of the worst mankind has to offer. And all of these men who will have to live without their genitals. All so some wealthy men could make more money.

Elizabeth

Elizabeth (imported) wrote: Mon Oct 01, 2012 6:01 pm You know what the worst part is? It's all for nothing... All so some wealthy men could make more money.

Elizabeth

I think George Carlin said it best: "War is rich old men sending young poor men off to die." Pretty much, that is just what war is, always has been that way, I think it always will be that way.

Someone(s) is/are profiting.

Someone(s) influential.

Who?

After 9 months of the unconstitutional War Powers Act, a draft should be required.

If America bleeds more equally, we would not be in our longest deployments in history.

The draft got us out of Vietnam. Not the goodwill of our damnable Federals.

The draft aroused the citizenry to action to demand, OUT OF Vietnam, now.

What difference did deployment between '63-'73 create in 2012 'nam. Nada. What a waste.

Federals Lie

It is about profit.

Not the light at the end of the tunnel.

"The Road to victory", "surge" or my fav,

"we owe it to those who already sacrificed", to sacrifice more.

Oh and then there is, "if we just leave, the world community will think ill of America".

Do unjustified, for profit wars cost more?

Moi

This has been a thoughtful and reasoned discussion for the most part. I believe that these victims of genital injuries need much better support than they have received. The families also need intensive counseling.

Now the girl friend who left while her guy was in surgery is not nearly as bad a person as most would imagine. I worked for a voluntary health organization for several years. Many of our chronic disease patients found their spouses could not take the strain of living with someone whose abilities were becoming more and more restricted each month. This is an area where proper counseling could help.

I know I was on tenterhooks when we heard that our son-in-law had been in an ambush while he was serving in Iraq. I envisioned all sorts of horrible injuries. As it turned out, the translator was killed and the sergeant who was our son-in-law's aide was shot in the heart. The surviving members of the patrol loaded both wounded back in the remains of the humvee which would still run and drove them out of the danger area. The sergeant was evacuated, flown to Germany, and then to Walter Reed. He made a full recovery. He volunteered to go to Afghanistan.

The point is we did not know if our son-in-law was alive, wounded, ok or what for several days. That is not right and the Army needs to step up on this.

On Topic YouTube

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0UrdgSWbr2A

Moi

A different perspective on the subject being discussed here: http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear ... fair_with_ him_he_s_now_a_politician_should_i_go_public_with_ what_happened_.html?google_editors_picks=true

Q. Very Awkward Sex Life Dilemma: My husband suffered an accident at work in which he lost his genitalia. Needless to say this has killed off what sex life we had before the accident. Nevertheless, I have decided to remain faithful to him. We have bought several sex toys and he likes to please me as best he can. I would never tell him this, but I'm actually enjoying it more now than before when it was the "real deal." This makes me feel very guilty. Also, I worry a lot that he can tell I like the artificial sex more and that would hurt him a lot. Can you give me any tips for moving forward?

A: Tragically, this kind of wound is being suffered more and more by our soldiers and I hope your letter gets widely distributed among them. There is nothing for you to feel guilty about. You do not need to tell your husband things are better, you just need to reassure him that he remains a marvelous, inventive lover. Tell him that you are so lucky that out of a terrible sorrow, you two have been able to become closer.

Transward

Elizabeth (imported) wrote: Mon Oct 01, 2012 6:01 pm You know what the worst part is? It's all for nothing. Everyone knows as soon as we leave Afghanistan, the puppet government we set up, will fall. Just like Vietnam for us and the French and just like The Soviet Union and every other country that ever tried to invade Afghanistan and set up a puppet government. All these men dying. All these men with horrible injuries and all of them with horrible memories of the worst mankind has to offer. And all of these men who will have to live without their genitals. All so some wealthy men could make more money.

Elizabeth

the mistake you're making, and most of the nice people in the world do, is to assume that the goal is to get Afghanistan on it's feet. Our foreign policy is actually aimed primarily at destabilizing other regions. This is because power and economies are relative. It is arguably easier to win by knocking down your competitors rather than trying to build yourself up.

From a USA foreign policy point of Iraq and Afghanistan are resounding successes. This is also why Iran keeps being considered for strikes, and if China were any less dangerous we'd have destabilized them long ago.

It is important to understand this viewpoint or else you'll never understand why we involve ourselves in seemingly "meaningless" wars. They've actually been very successful.