I've had an indwelling catheter attached to me for a couple weeks before (I was in the hospital for broken/fractured bones). It wasn't painful.

antonia (imported) wrote: Fri Jul 19, 2002 1:53 pm Where the damn is A-1?

Waiting for him to crack a really big joke on this one.

...I have been invited!

My beautiful Antonia, I hope never to disappoint you!

THIS story...

Reminds me of the time that these two fellows showed up in the E.R. The first had a broken nose, a black eye, a laceration on his nose and 2nd degree burns on his face and shoulders.

The second had 2nd degree burns on his scrotum, anus and in the gluteal fold, along with a very red and angry-looking anus.

Have any of you ever heard the term "felching"? Well, the story goes like this.

It seems that these two fellows were an item and that they practiced a sort of B&D Gay relationship. For sexual play they would have some sort of game to determine who was going to be the dominant and who was going to be the submissive for the evening's sexual encounter. (Don't ask me the particulars, this is just the story that I was invited to tell. )

Well, it seems like they always tried to out-do each other on the bizarreness of the sexual encounter. The first one had found an anal speculum and after making his friend get very drunk, he had proceeded to put his friend in the "compromising" position, and then dialated his anus with the speculum.

At that point he took a live gerbil and tied a string around its neck and inserted it into the second fellow's rectum. Well, yes, the string came off of the gerbil and the thing was moving inside of the guy. The second fellow at that point started screaming the "safeword".

:redbounce :redbounce :redbounce

The first guy tried to shine the flashlight into the man's ass hoping that gerbil would be able to find his way out. As the poor gerbil suffocated and the guy tried to see it to get it out his flashlight stopped working. In the mean time the poor second guy laying there with his rectum dialated kept screaming the "safeword" louder and louder because despite of having a lot of alcohol on board, the fellow had had enough.

Getting desperate, in a panic and hoping that the gerbil would see the light and find his way out, the first fellow urgently searched for another source of light. All that he could find was a candle. So, he took the large candle, lit it and held it close to his buddy's rectum trying to direct the light into the darkened orfice where "the sun never shines"

Suddenly, there was a small explosion of sorts. The second poor man as one might say "shot his wad', going off like a small cannon. The gerbil flew out of the man's rectum along with the anal speculum and a blast of flame.



The gerbil struck the first guy's eye and blacked it and the speculum hit his nose with enough force to break it. The resultant flames singed his eyelashes and eyebrows, burned his hair to a lesser degree, scorched his shirt and gave him 2nd degree burns all over his face and upper neck. :realpisse

Meanwhile, the second guy jumps up and runs into the bathroom and tries to stick his ass in the toilet to ease his unusual case of "Ass BURN". The first guy calls the paramedics, terrified that he was mortally wounded. His nose was bleeding profusely, he was temporarily blinded and had a gash in his nose that took 15 stiches to close. :realpisse

The poor gerbil met an un-timely end...

It seems that the candle had set off a pocket of gas in the second man's rectum, causing his ass to "shoot" the anal speculum and the gerbil out like a cannon hitting the first man in the face! You see, methane is VERY volatile.

Just like the jelly jar and the potato, it ENDED up being the ending of a BEAUTIFUL, kinky relationship. Also, like the potato and jelly jar, ...

IT ALL CAME OUT IN /(of) THE END.

I guess that these fellows cornered the market on stupidity for that day.

A-1

Antonia--

Yes, quite disgusting. Glad I live in the one major metropolitan area in the SE and eastern Midwest USA that doesn't seem to have Kroger. They were here up until 2 years ago.

Of course with the ridiculous stuff I see coming across my desk at work on a regular basis (did I ever mention I work in advertising?) I've seen worse ideas.

Thank god I don't have to be the one to come up with the blasted ideas, I just get to critique them and hopefully prevent all of you from being punished by them.

Where the damn is A-1?

antonia (imported) wrote: Fri Jul 19, 2002 1:53 pm Geez Losethem, can you imagine spreading your roll with Kroger Jelly in the morning whilst watching their commercial about a guy with the same jar of jelly up his ass.

WOW I bet that would boost their sales,

this is disgusting!

your antonia

Dave (imported) wrote: Fri Jul 19, 2002 5:01 pm That hurts like hell dude!!!!

Sorry, my statement was confusing.

The battery fluids rotting out your cock wil hurt like hell, , not the indwelling catheter.

And I find the Gerbil story

Completely Outrageous.

However, once when I was in the Emergency Room on the 4th of July with a broken leg (spiral fractures that you usually see after skiing) ... I know I heard the conversation:

"how did he fall on a screw driver in the shower?"

"I don't know but it went in handle first."

"And he couldn't get it out?"

"yes!"

Afterward all the hospital personnel denied every having seen a patient like that. . . . .

Dave

Is anyone hungry for jelly?

Hmm, the only question I have...was it creamy or chunky peanut butter. and those lids can be hard to get off, maybe he was using his spinchter to grip it while he turned the jar, and ooops, it fell in. Thats probably what he told the Proctologist!

It does remind me of scrubs, and their box of ass xrays, lol. I remember the episode with the lightbulb up the guys ass, and the dr's comment, his colon has an idea!