It started for me when I was sick and had no idea why but It was the only way I could achieve orgasm. I would cut my scrotum till I came. I did everything to kill to kill my balls except cut them out. Actually I did cut my scrotum open twice and stopped because I did not know how I would explain it to my wife. It was not in my upbringing, I am married and have children and grandchildren and love my wife but after I went without T and was put back on it the desire to be without it was so strong I could not stop myself from destroying my testicles even though they did not work. I thought that would be enough but it is not. I have to remove whats left of my testicles and I can't explain why. I can't explain why I don't want it done in a hospital but want to do it myself. I guess I am just nuts buts its what I need to do. Just trying to get things together and find the right time to do it. Till it's done I won't be satisfied with what I am.

graylayer02 (imported) wrote: Mon Dec 13, 2010 6:52 am Myself, I've been a lot less active here since I mostly have what I want, to within some minor changes. 95% of what goes on here is mostly the same every day, though there is that 5%. Someone once joked that he should come up with a list for comments at academic seminars since so many comments are the same, and such a thing might be useful here.

This is exactly why we appreciate your input here. Experiences like yours is what at least I want to read about, among all the other stuff that is repeated again and again, year after year. Even if you don´t post every week, if you could give a compilation of your everydays experiences every now and then, this would be valuable and respected.