You know? There is something to say about having a rich and fulfilling sex life. After spending 18 years in an unfulfilling relationship, things are much different for me know. My wife of the last five years has a very high sex drive. We have sex at least once a day, and many times more, sometimes as many as 4 times a day.

Not that we have to have it all the time, we don't. Sometimes we are under the weather or just not feeling up to it. But when one has a fulfilling sex life, it's no big deal when we don't have sex. We also spend a lot of time just cuddling and holding each other. We are both very affectionate.

Could I do without sex? Sure. I could also go without steak, ice cream, lobster, and prime rib, but why would I want to. To me it would be sad to miss out on this great pleasure that life has to offer, simply because my partner is no longer interested. I know because I did it for 18 years. All I really did was miss out.

Perhaps I would have been better off had I not had the sex drive to make me feel like I was missing something, but the truth was, I was missing something. If I could take a pill and steak, ice cream, lobster and prime rib no longer tasted good to me, I wouldn't take it either. Instead I enjoy them when I can.

To me removing the desire to feel good is the worst possible solution. While it is effective, it seems to me like giving up on a chance to be happy. Perhaps this is the wrong way to look at it, as I know many of you have only experienced negative emotions associated with your sex drive. I don't knock your solution, it's just not right for me.

Elizabeth

Elizabeth first of all thanks for a great post. I think your right on the money.

I don't remember your details but if your post op and don't of course have testes making testosterone have you looked into dialing that up to normal female levels. I know a lot of TS people loose interest in sex. I think this is because they often end up with lower then (female) normal levels of Testosterone.

Just my 2 cents worth.

I would like to know what mutualy satisfying sex might be like. Having been sexualized at age 7 it is hard to have a normal sex life. When I had a sex addicition I desired many men but did not want them to do anything for me. I must say it is nice, a 10+ improvement, not to have out of control desires.

Instead of dealing with the anxiety I would have if someone wanted to please me it is easier to have limited desire. My limited desire reduced my need for sex and then my anxiety. Of course when you have much anxiety you also have erectile dysfunction. I found it easier to satisfy straight men than to risk a gay man like me that might want to do to me what I wanted to do to him. All my issues and early trauma programmed my sexual desires.

The lack of sexual desire and the lack of frustration from not being able to perform sexually has improved my quality of life. Sure maybe years of therapy might have helped me be able to enjoy mutual pleasures. I found it easier to ignore with the help of castration.