Any holiday tips for introverts?

[tugon (imported)]

Believe me I know anxiety and panic attacks and when they hit the only thing you can do is take your meds (if you have any) and find a quite spot to be alone.

However, In a nutshell your options are...

1) learn to live with it and conquer it

or

2) Stay home and let it conquer you.

Learning to live with it allows you to have a life and make a few friends. Your brain is you which means it can be modified, but you have to take small baby steps in order to conquer it.

Stay at home is easy and pretty dull unless your going to write your thoughts down and turn it into a novel somehow.

You need to ask yourself what you want out of life and who you want to be when it is your time to leave, then figure out how to get there.

I do not have panic or anxiety attacks. I had a good time with family. I just find it draining to be around so many. I do not spend much time at home and between work where I am constantly going to new clients homes I speak to quite a few people in a days time. Being well known in town I can not go many places without having to talk to several people. I am fine with people one on one and for brief periods of time it is when I am around the same dozen for 3-4 hours that I am worn out. I used to manage departments in a hospital where I had to present monthly meetings and inservices to large groups of people. It is the close personal connections with many people for extended periods of time that tires me.

[tugon (imported)]

http://psychology.suite101.com/article. ... _introvert

Most of us are introverts or extroverts by nature, but we all display either introverted or extroverted personality characteristics at different times.

For instance, you may be an introvert in a group of strangers and an extrovert at home with your family. However, most people exhibit stronger tendencies one way or another, towards either the introvert or extrovert side of the spectrum.

If you're not sure whether you have introverted personality traits, try this test for introversion.

The Introvert's Personality Traits

Introverts have an inward focus and aren't usually the life of the party. They have a strong sense of self that can make them feel highly self-conscious around other people – making walking into a crowded room a little nerve-wracking. Introverts have a hard time being goofy in front of the camera and telling jokes to more than a couple of people at a time, but they can be extremely witty. They're less "Larry, Curly, and Moe" and more Woody Allen - but that doesn't mean introverts' personality traits are neurotic.

Introverts process their emotions, thoughts, and observations internally. They can be social people, but reveal less about themselves than extroverts do. Introverts are more private, and less public. Introverts need time to think before responding to a situation, and develop their ideas by reflecting privately. Introverts' personality traits can be passionate, but not usually aggressive.

Introverts can focus their attention more readily and for longer periods of time, and they aren't easily swayed by other people's opinions.

Are Introverts Shy and Quiet?

Some introverts aren't stereotypically shy and can strike up conversations with anyone. These introverts enjoy talking and listening to people, and going to parties and events. But most introverts would rather be at home. Introverts can find small talk easy but tiring – and sometimes boring. They'd rather have meaningful conversations about the depths of human souls and minds, but find few opportunities (those aren't your usual conversations at water coolers or dinner parties!).

An introvert's personality traits aren't necessarily tentative or hesitant, but introverts do prefer to think before they act. When introverts are ready they take action!

Where Introverts Get Their Energy

Introverts tend to get their energy from within, so being with people is draining. After a day filled with people or activities, introverts tend to feel exhausted and empty. To recharge their batteries introverts need to be alone reading, daydreaming, painting, or gardening – any solo activity fills them up again. This doesn't mean introverts have to live alone in a cave in the hills or on Walden Pond; they just need quiet time to come back to themselves. The energy source for introverts is from within.

Physiological Differences Between Introverts and Extroverts

Introverts' personality traits include increased blood flow in the frontal lobes, anterior thalamus, and other regions associated with remembering events, making plans, and problem-solving. An introvert's brain is literally wired differently than an extrovert's!

Introverts in Love Relationships

Introverts don't necessarily have a fear of intimacy – but they can be more difficult to get to know than an outgoing, friendly extrovert. Dating and relationships for introverts can be challenging; knowing a few dating tips for introverts will help.

[moi621 (imported)]

The best evidence is one is, "hard wired"

for extroversion and introversion.

Similar, hard wiring is found in litters of kittens,

some are hard wired to be more exploratory,

while others stay closer to safety.

I have discussed the Minnesota Twin studies and similar studies at length with an equally educated in Biological sciences best friend. It took years, but he finally accepts we are victims of our genes more than most would like to admit.

Most prefer to believe in free will, discipline and environment influences as nurture. But, it is - nature! Biological sons of criminal fathers are indeed more likely to commit crimes even when adopted into home with no history of criminal behavior. The apple does not fall far from the tree, indeed.

Moi

[Danya (imported)]

I was reminded today during all the festivities how a room full of people can fatigue me. After 3+ hours with the gang I felt like I had shoveled snow for 12hours. My roommate, nephew and myself are all introverts so we were all worn out. My nephew had one more large get together to attend at his mother's family. He was going upstairs away from everyone to recharge. Here at the apartment things are very quiet. I am not yet in the mood for music or TV.

I know introverts are in the minority. We are often subjected to a world where extroverts are recharging being around many as we are being drained. I need some coping tips to survive in an extroverted world. I think one thing I can do next year is arrive later and leave earlier. I thought that next year I can request a quiet space I can go to for a break. My glasses of wine seemed to help.

Any fellow introverts who have learned good coping skills for holiday parties please share. Of course only after you have regrouped from all the activities.

Hi Tugon,

It can be very draining being an introvert at social gatherings, particularly those involving more than a few people. At these events, most are likely to be extraverts who openly express much of what they think. We introverts tend to keep our thoughts and feelings to ourselves. This can cause others to think we are shy (not necessarily true) or even aloof. In fact, we simply process what's going on internally. We do not state aloud whatever is on our minds.

I have been told that there advantages to being an introvert, one being that people are kept guessing what's on our minds.

I see nothing wrong with limiting your time at social gatherings if you tend to feel drained. It also can help to have some other introverted friends with you, or at least some other folks who understand.

Hugs,

Danya

[tugon (imported)]

You are right Danya that the three introverts at the family party could certainly relate to how each of us were feeling. My poor nephew had to endure yet a larger and even noisier party.

I can relate to being accused of being aloof or thinking I am better than others. Yes when you share little of yourself people do begin to suspect you. As an introvert I tend to have a dry sense of humor. I remember a time I worked with this woman and she came up to me and said "you are a funny son-of-a-bitch". I asked what she meant and her first impression of me was "that I was an arrogant asshole". It takes people a long time to warm up to me and in fact I think it took her a year.

What has caused me problems in situations has been that since I do not share much people make things up. Their tales are interesting but the truth would really shock them.

[moi621 (imported)]

Now if we introverts / empaths just get by, New Years -

We will have time off from society's expectations.

What a relief.

Moi

Oh, and Happy, Happy, Happy and more Happy last

year of the first decade of the 21st century.

Or is it the first year of the second decade? Count from 00 or 01?

Well more Happy, Happy and Safe.

We survived the "Neo-Conservative Decade".

Penniless but, alive.

[tugon (imported)]

Ah yes New Years Eve where with enough alcohol any introvert can be an extrovert until the puking begins.

[Arab Nights (imported)]

On personality tests I ran 50:50 on all major characteristics such as introvert:extrovert.

Somehow I ended up during the teen years with a panic response in groups. I finally reached a point where I did not want to live in the jail I had constructed for myself. The first step was Toastmasters. When I was downsized I used that as a time to change myself. I went to a shrink a few times. He said that I had already done a lot of the work myself by joining Toastmasters, etc. His one advice was not drugs, but to conquer my panic reaction in crowds by purposefully imersing myself in them. The first time was horrible, like my first speech at Toastmasters. But, you know, the guy was right. That has largely gone away without pharmaceutical help and it is only rarely that I get a twinge of that feeling anymore. My wife has the same unease in crowds and has commented about how easy I can now be in a group and dominate the situation.

The one thing I do allow myself now is a cheap 5:30 coffee and breakfast by myself at the loca McDs when I am in town. Wife does not understand it, but I feel like the time by myself charges my battery and I am ready then for all the chaos of family life, etc.

I second the comments of Ernie of Maine, IbPervert and nullorchis. The only additional thing I would say is that I do not feel I can blame it on parental or environmental programming. I am the culprit for how I was. The corollary is that perhaps I ultimately have control over myself - if I want to bad enough.