Corbin_Crow (imported) wrote: Mon Dec 07, 2009 6:24 pm I appreciate the tips slammr, that certainly makes the whole bit clearer and easier to read. I think the first thing I will do is go back and re-edit the stories for my own benefit, breaking it more in line with this logic. Thanks!

-Corbin

P.S. I am also a big fan of your work

Corbin:

Thanks.

When it comes to writing, practice doesn't make perfect, but it definitely helps one get better at it.

I really liked your latest story - Injured Reserve.

I think Slammr's comments about spiltting the paragraphs would help, but this did not really impair my enjoyment of the story.

I am not sure if you intended to do so, but you could continue the character of Vicky and her medical access to athletes. She could "put right, what went wrong" for others (I am sure I have heard that expression before, but I can not remember where).

This is not a request to continue the story, I wrote what I thought was a one-off story for a ball-busting site, due to requests it ended up at five parts, so I appreciate these things can evolve most than originaly planned!

Once again, thank you for your efforts and please keep writing!

Jamie.

Mr. Crow, I really hope you will continue to write adn submit your stories, in the same vein as you have been doing. I love how the targets in your stories never really do anything TOO bad but still 'get venged on' by people who just indulge in their own weaknesses or whatnot. I especially liked Weight Class.

Please if the muse strikes you, write!