Part of life is interacting with other people.

You can do that at arms length without getting personal or intimate.

Just being an observer of life can be a learning and enriching experience.

You don't have to be a participant.

Take sports for example. Millions of observers, few participants.

Statistically the planet is not at risk of being underpopulated so there is no evolutionary need for any of us to reproduce. And sex drive is all about reproducing.

Personally I think people who electively suppress their sex drive because they have no need for, no use for reproduction are doing the planet a great favor. Nature and our bodies make us do things we don't want to do, don't need to do. It's not our fault. It's just nature.

By suppressing what nature wants us to do we make an intellectual choice to spend our time and energy on more important things; at least things that are more important to us.

To some people the only important things are cigarettes and whisky and wild wild women, they drive you crazy, they drive you insane.

I would say: Take life by the balls..........and cut them off. But that would be self-destructive. But suppressing testosterone, one way or another, can provide you with the opportunity of getting rid of unnecessary, unneeded sexual distractions so that you can live an undistracted life of greater fulfillment.

However, there are a few people out there who actually found true love, in each other, for a lifetime. I mean LOVE, not just sexual attraction that culminates in marriage, children, and divorce. But then there are a few people who win big lotto prizes too. You can drain your bank account trying to win the lotto.

You can drain your emotional account trying to find love.

But to those who have found life long true love, I am envious, congratulations, but my not finding it doesn't make me lonely or long for it or make me willing to do what is necessary to find it. Life still has a lot to offer without sex or love.

nullorchis (imported) wrote: Mon Aug 03, 2009 3:55 am Life still has a lot to offer without sex or love.

I can agree with the part about sex, but I guess i am one of the lotto winners, because i have been in true love for 18 years, and not sure i could do without it.

Well, I've been away the past few days and I haven't checked in. Thanks for the posts everyone I really appreciate it. But there are a few things I should clear up. I'm not actually lonely, I perfer to keep to myself. I don't talk to people all that much because you learn quite a bit more if you keep your mouth shut and listen, something that an unfortunatly large portion of the populace does not realize. I don't want kids, I hate children, I hate their crying, screaming, yelling, runing around like idiots. Just can't stand kids.

I also don't believe in love. It seems to be an emotion that as a society, we no longer need; we have gotten to the point where we mate like most non-social animals and leave the mothers to tend to their young, while the males go off on their next adventure. In this case, and since there are so many other people out there doing this, love is no longer useful. Some would argue that we need love as studies indicate that people who get married live longer than those who do not. I'm sure that a scientist could also argue that we need our tonsils and apendix for our entire life, but the fact is, they're not 100% neccisary.

I personally believe that the persuit and distribution of knowledge is more admirable than any other profession. You can have 100 kids and they can have 100 kids and those ones can have 100 kids...but in three or four generations you'll be forgotten. No one will remember you, who you are, what you did, what you were like, and so on. You can be the best sports legend the world has ever seen, but give it a couple decades and someone will surpass you, a century or so and your name will also be lost to the sands of time. True immortality does not come from spreading your genes, writing a love song, or catching a game winning touchdown; It comes from discoveries and knowledge. I'd like to point this out as an example...who can, off the top of their head tell me who Mensen Ernst is, and who can tell me who Socrates is? Go ahead and look up the guy's name and you'll see what I mean.

It sounds to me like its in your head...which happens to be the biggest sex organ in the body. Ask yourself why you feel this way? What happened growing up that made you feel this way? Pray to Father God and Mother God for the answers. Sex is a gift from God and it serves two functions 1) creating offspring, and 2) Physical Enjoyment. Another suggestion is to find a friend that you can talk openly with (male or female) there is at least one person in this world for you to enjoy your life with. I to am a loner and I enjoy being alone, but humans are social creatures. My suggestion is to go someplace that interests you, someplace that is new to you but still holds your interest, and force yourself to talk to others, dedicate yourself to saying "hi" to others. When I was working it was dealing with other people and it forced me to talk with them...along the way I met a few people and they became my friend (most of them still are). Like others said, castration is a one way trip for good or bad.

Do you have a form of Aspargers or any other condition? I don't wish to offend but it sounds like you have built walls of protection around yourself to prevent further rejection.

Reducing Testosterone can also let your estrogen levels go up and you may go from just wanting a hole to get off on, to having to deal with a flood of emotions and feelings that you have never really had to deal with. It could easily leave you in a very vulnerable state so I would advise to proceede with caution. And please..... don't even THINK about surgical castration before a trial of chemical castration.

Guess I'm a lotto winner to because I have and my wife have been in love for more than 40 years and its not just about sex. In fact sex has little to do with real love.

That can be very true sometimes love does not only focus around sex, but many other things.

feedback (imported) wrote: Sat Aug 08, 2009 2:33 pm Guess I'm a lotto winner to because I have and my wife have been in love for more than 40 years and its not just about sex. In fact sex has little to do with real love.

We seem to be similar in many ways, including our age (but not all - I don't feel the same way you do about children, and I do believe in love).

You are doing much better than I am in the world of dating. You've asked two women out. I've asked none. Congratulations

Ramses makes an interesting point when he mentions building walls of protection. I would keep that in mind. I certainly feel what he says is probably applicable to my case, although for me it is to prevent any rejection rather than further rejection.

In my case, a part of me does desire a relationship, but my view of a romantic relationship is an idealized fantasy rather than reality. Because of my extreme privacy issues and my dislike of conflict, I could probably not deal with a real relationship, so I have had to convince myself I do not want one, and I think I have actually done a pretty good job of that.

Certainly there are true loners in this world, and you may very well be one. If that is the case, then it would be a shame to not recognize and celebrate who you are. But I have the found the line to determine the true loners from those who are lonely to be difficult to discern at times. In your case the red flag for me is when you say you are afraid to talk to women. True loners don't avoid women because they are afraid to talk to them - they do so simply because they have no desire to talk to them.

My libido has improved significantly since I went back on T. On the downside, the return of libido also brings the reminder that I do not have the connection and intimacy most people have, and it can be disappointing. I have wondered at times if not having a libido might be better if I have one but cannot satisfy it. Because of that question, I have considered going off T just to eliminate a libido that remains forever hungry. But for now, the other benefits of T appear to outweigh that issue.

If you still believe you truly are not interested in sex and never will be, then by all means give castration a try. But you might want to speak with a professional first to determine if you are truly are not interested in sex as a primary symptom or due to other reasons (though that suggestion is hypocritical of me - I gave up on professionals long ago, and besides, I have been psychoanalyzing myself for years - they won't come up with anything I don't already know). Also, you definitely ought to go with chemical first. That way if you don't like what it does to you, and you haven't been on it long, you might still have a full recovery.