punkypink, you're right, but things don't always work that way.

My wife thinks that since I decided to have children, they deserve to have a father and I should just buck-up. She thinks that I am being selfish and also not fulfilling the promise I made to God when we got married.

Hi Hairless,

Nice to hear from you again! Been thinking about you. (Hate to admit it, but there was something in me which wondered, "Was Hairless able to beat this GID thing while I couldn't?" Misery loves company, and you had left us behind.)

As for the marriage thing: In my case, it's been an absolute tragedy. My spouse has been unyielding in any discussions we've had. However, I'm now able to see the bright side of things. It took a long time to reach this point, but I liken it to when a husband and wife discover they are actually brother and sister. Such a discovery makes the marriage null and void regardless of the couple's wishes. When I became convinced I'm female inside, it effectively nullified the marriage in spirit, trumping our individual wishes.

It's nice when spouses can ride out the GID storm, but it sometimes is a case of long, drawn-out dull pain with the same acutely-painful end result (divorce). Is it better to just face the acute pain from the start? Nevertheless, I hope the two of you can find a way to agree.

Glad you've found a helpful, supportive therapist. Christian, even! You may want to check out Caryn Lemur's website, especially the page entitled Observations for those with GID. (http://www.carynlemur.com/1Observations.html) I think you'll find her observations dead-on. When reading it, I feel as though she's read my EA postings and is responding directly to me.

Sending lots of warm thoughts in your direction,

Terri

Hi Terri,

I tried to beat the GID. Part of that is why I stayed away from here. I wanted to make sure this forum wasn't egging me on. The GID went away for a while, but it came back with a vengeance.

It's good to here from you again.

Hairless (imported) wrote: Wed Jun 17, 2009 3:46 pm I need to get caught up on your thread also. I

've got quite a bit of reading to do.

Hi Hairless / Sandra. I am so glad to see you again. Its been far too long. I know this GID is not "GLAD IM DIFFERENT" and to be honest I'm relieved your meeting this problem head on and dealing with it. I'm SO happy your off the pain meds. Gosh thats been a long road. I personally hated taking such stuff so I hope you recover from taking that stuff soon!

I did a little therapy to deal wish family / anxiety and I found it a great help. For me learning how to calm myself down a bit with some help from T.M. helps me out. And for me? Well thats like Mr T (The real one) doing Yoga... Weird at least.

Estrogen! Congratulations! I bet getting that script was a lot more positive then filling the one for Androgel. And well.... your bones should heal just as well on that. Estrofem is (I think) a good idea. Androgel is a nice way for men to get testosterone. Why not use the same technique? I'm doing my Testosterone with injections but thats more cost and being able to just deal with it once a week rather then everyday.

As to tall women. I must tell you some time about the one time love of my life the Basketball player... Trust me there is NOTHING wrong with being tall! Or short for that matter. As Erica (I think?) said, Women come in all sizes.

I'm Glad your back!

It is a good sign that you and your wife are talking about your social and family roles. It may be possible to reach a workable compromise. I agree with Ms Pink that your children are probably able to accept you better than she thinks they will. - After the customary loud storm children give when hearing anything new about their parents. You have done well, keep working at it. --FLO--

I saw my therapist on Friday as usual. I had told him about EA before and he told me he checked it out. He was surprised at the many variations of people here and how well we all get along. I think he was a bit put off by the dark side.

I think he is having a problem with my still having a problem with all this. At one point, I almost broke into tears when I told him how difficult this is for me. Perhaps I dwell too much on my concerns for my family, but I have trouble saying," Damn the torpedoes, full speed ahead". I guess I'm still hoping for a middle ground. He tells me it does no good to wish this never happened to me and I know he's right, but it doesn't make it any less difficult. I think I answered too many of his questions from a perceived perception of someone else instead of looking into myself. I guess I'm still confused as to where I want this to go or I have a hard time envisioning myself as a woman. I have no doubt that I am transgendered. I even have the arms of a woman that most MtF's have. I showed him how my arms hang by my sides like a woman's and told him," I guess that's why I throw a ball like a girl". He hadn't known that there were any physical aspects to TS people. I wonder if FtM's have boy arms.

I'm starting to feel a little better on the Estrogel. I'm not as lightheaded as I was at first and there are times I'm not as tired. I find that I can usually push myself past the fatigue and it eases.

My spouse went to a seminar on hormones and he said that Progesterone was the feel good hormone. This also goes along with the article Ramses posted on the hormone page. I wonder if that would help me feel better relationship wise. I've always been kind of a loner and don't really have any close friends. This also goes for my spouse. My therapist thinks that is sad. Basically my wife and I only have each other. That's probably why this is so difficult for me.

I know this can't be easy. I hope you and your wife are able to sit down and talk about having a future together. I don't think you have to do away with one to have the other unless one or both of you just can't stand the thought of it.

I got a chuckle from your Therapist saying what he/she did about the visit to EA. Please pass along that some of us here feel the same way!

I'm crazy but some of these other people here are just goofy!

Balancing those hormones so they are the right mix for both of you is a good project. Good luck on that and remember you DO have some other friends besides each other...

Come to the MOM in August, and we will find you.

Or you can find us.

We're pretty easy to spot.

After all, a Red Nun is hard to hide.

I know it is a trip from Southern California to Minneaplis, MN, but I have learned that being a Eunuch is something special. Very few could live a life style without T. And Hairless, you are the age of most of the rest of us. So don't be afraid. Life with out T, no sex drive. It takes a special person to live this way.. We are a special peoples.. come join us, one and all who are real Eunuchs or sympathetic to our cause.

Hairless (imported) wrote: Wed Jun 17, 2009 6:06 pm punkypink, you're right, but things don't always work that way.

My wife thinks that since I decided to have children, they deserve to have a father and I should just buck-up. She thinks that I am being selfish and also not fulfilling the promise I made to God when we got married.

Religion should not be used to make someone unhappy. And your children deserve 2 loving parents, not strictly a father and a mother. In a way, yes, it is selfish. But her not wanting you to transition is equally selfish isn't it? Truthfully, there is no harm in denying a child a father, studies show that its having loving parents that counts more than anything else. Having a "father" who is depressed and unhappy is really not a good thing. Besides your kids aren't exactly in their formative years anymore are they? The promise you made to God was to love her till death do you part, not "stay a man for her".