Jean Op den Kamp (imported) wrote: Sun Jun 07, 2009 6:11 am Hey Fhunter,

I ate a lot of that stuff, but I never got lazy from it.............

How are you doing?? Can't you have us an update

loveUall

JeanThe month of testdrive is going to it's end. So does the remaining supply of androcur.

Bobbie was right - some effects don't start until some time. And some creep on you slowly, so you notice them only after some time. Like problems with memory (I can give more details on request or this post will be lengthy) or night sweats - I had few.

The lack of energy is still there, but not as pronounced (is it a correct word?) as it was.

Now I'm typing this and thinking...

First thought - that I should've started this earlier...

Second one and others are questions. What do I want? What are my goals? Should I continue? Should I stop?

I have to think on this and of consequences of my decision.

Dear Fhunter,

I remember I had exactly the same feeling and questions.

It is not easy.

Was it not for the health issue a eunuch has to deal with, I would have gone further.

Nevertheless, I quit the chemicals and recovered. And I'm glad. I' m glad I went through this and would recommend it.

Just to let you know, we are here to support each other in our quest for ourselves.

Take care, take your time,

Vesal !

I forgot one more thing - my moods change quicker (not to the point of "from zero to bitch in 3.5 seconds", but sometimes close ).

One more thing I forgot - it looks like at farmacy nobody cares about somebody buying androcur without prescription (may be I got a strange look, but not sure)...

It's almost 0400 here and I'm liying in bed, unable to sleep. It all started, when I tried to think and analize what am I going to do and what I want. Then, well, I felt what is best described as panic (okay not only panic, but other emotions as well. only panic was prevalent). What triggered it - I don't know, but suspect. Now I'm trying to put my emotions in check... And don't know how.

I would not let it worry you. You are going through changes. You are questing yourself. That is good. You should expect this to happen from time to time. You are making some life changing choices. That is why chemical castration is done and not getting castrated without testing.

I see the hesitation and doubt as how testosterone tries to self-protect itself, via the determination of nature to force us to reproduce.

When you have a libido, you don't want to loose it.

When you have finally lost it, you could not care less that it is gone.

The old saying: You don't know what you have till you loose it is true.

Once you loose the old libido the light bulb goes on and it is a moment of epiphany, Eureka, the light bulb goes on.

But until the cleansing is complete doubt, hesitation, uncertaintly will continue to attempt to protect the elimination of testosterone.

In a way it is a good vs evil conflict.

It is good to be testosterone free; we just don't know it while it runs in our blood.

And those who still have it running through their veins think the whole concept of being free of testosterone is crazy.

Well, another old saying, try it, you'll like it.

But you have to give it time and resist it's powerful pull.

Once T is gone (for most everyone) : Oh, what a relief it is.

Few give it a try.

Others who loose their T from accidents or medical reasons have a mental hangup that prevents them from enjoying the freedom.

Until one has "been there, done that" completely, they can not speak with authority on the subject.

fhunter wrote: Sat Jun 13, 2009 3:54 pm It's almost 0400 here and I'm liying in bed, unable to sleep. It all started, when I tried to think and analize what am I going to do and what I want. Then, well, I felt what is best described as panic (okay not only panic, but other emotions as well. only panic was prevalent). What triggered it - I don't know, but suspect. Now I'm trying to put my emotions in check... And don't know how.

Hey my friend,

Don't tell them, but use the board for an outlet. You want the truth, just look back at all the postings of this asshole, and check out the times of the postings.

At the end androcur got me six weeks being sexless, a very happy time. But why did it take so long. And I like to warn you, I have got big health problems, I can't prove they come from androcur, but I do have the feeling they do come from androcur. If you think it is useful for you, let me know, and I specify them.

If you don't know how to get your emotions under control............and you can't sleep.........make your time useful.........have a nice cry about it.

You don't need to tell us;);).......but as long as you feel to much of a man to have a nice cry, your dose of androcur may just be to low

Good luck, hold on and thanks for your honest update

loveU&all

Jean

Thanks for your replies.

I am almost internet impaired now (looong way from nearest city, no electricity, no proper computer, and

internet tablet shows that it is almost out of battery).

I was trying to relax a little and think everything over.

Now going to sleep - tired, sunburned, but more or less calm. Probably less than more. But still calmer than I was when I wrote my previous post.

I will try write this properly, when I will return home.

fhunter wrote: Sat Jun 13, 2009 3:54 pm It's almost 0400 here and I'm liying in bed, unable to sleep. It all started, when I tried to think and analize what am I going to do and what I want. Then, well, I felt what is best described as panic (okay not only panic, but other emotions as well. only panic was prevalent). What triggered it - I don't know, but suspect. Now I'm trying to put my emotions in check... And don't know how.

I see, you are a real science man. while in panic and very difficult situation, you still manage to make notes and register scientifically valuable information.

You remind me great explorers who despite extremely bad situation continue to write logbook.

I hope everything settle down and wish you well!

just keep your head up everything should be back to normal if thats what you wish.

With time normally the heat sweats etc go away so it is something you give time to work with