Leona, I thought this would help in your effort to reconcile.

How to apologize:

Make it genuine - Anyone can spot a false apology and it will do more harm than good. A genuine apology is aimed solely at taking responsibility and overcoming a disturbance. There are no hidden obligations or expectations attached.

Don’t justify your actions - If you are busy explaining why you did what you did, it will start to sound like you aren’t apologizing at all, that you aren’t ready to take responsibility. A brief explanation may help understanding, while a justification may just fuel the disturbance.

Make a commitment to change - If you can’t confirm that you mean to improve, then you aren’t committed to an apology. If you aren’t committed to changing your habit of getting home late, don’t say “Sorry I am home late”. This will be a hollow and ineffective apology. You are better off thanking the other person, “Thanks for putting up with me coming home so late. I appreciate it” and taking it from there.

Phrased you apology carefully - Make sure the other person knows why you are apologizing. “I was passing by so I thought I’d drop in and say sorry” is a lot different to “I wanted to come and apologize because I really do care about this relationship”. Don’t fake it. If you have a good reason to keep the relationship alive the other person will want to hear it.

Be prepared for an awkward conclusion - While sometimes an apology is followed straight away by a counter apology and peace and flowers and little birds carrying banners of love through the air, not everyone reacts this way. Some people will behave indifferently, some will behave coldly, and some will react in a downright hostile way. This is out of your control. You have made the step to apologize. Doing it in a productive way is the best you can do. Maybe the other person will appreciate it now, later, or never. No matter what, you have done your bit and you can relax. The rest is up to them.

BTW, while I'm not muslim I was cared for by a caring, loving muslim gentleman.

chilli-

The Biblical way to apologize is to ask for forgiveness to all who may have been offended. Then I must go to my Savior and ask Him for forgiveness. It's done. If I am not forgiven by others who I have asked forgiveness from and they do not choose to forgive. Biblically it now belongs to them. I need to be careful of my own heart that I don't pick the ball back up. I will not. At the same time I cannot apologize and expect you all to understand my rationalizations. This was the problem in the first place. I felt that I should do this, unaware of the flare-up.

Once again, I appear to have been un-aware of the reception I would receive. My apology is for anything I said that was offensive and still stands. I will go now and not respond to any more of this. All the Best, Leona/ Leo

Leona, I understand that you want forgiveness, and I want to be helpful to you.

But until I (we?) know just what it is that you want forgiven, it's not easy to grant that forgiveness.

Can you say more? Can you help us to forgive you?

For me I dont need forgivness in here I need to get people to open there hearts and turn to God befor its to late.I see in the very near future we will all see Gods wrath on this country for turning away from God.Why do I tell you this because this is our job when we know what God is about to do he warns us and this IS a warning.Yes I hate to tell you this as so many in this world do not understand or take the God of this universe serious.There will soon be another judgment on this country watch and learn and by all means trust in God that is all he asks.No I will no appoligize for what I say only for what I do not tell you.

Leona Lee (imported) wrote: Tue May 05, 2009 9:43 am The Biblical way to apologize is to ask for forgiveness to all who may have been offended.

...

This really bothers me. The fake apology. One has either done something they feel bad or ashamed about or they have not. It does not depend on who was offended. So if no one was offended, you don't apologize? You make it sound like there is something wrong with the people who are offended.

The classic "Well if you were offended, I apologize". Either you meant to say it or do something, or you did not. It is not right or wrong based on who was offended. Trying to pass laws to prevent law enforcement from refusing to take action by allowing the Federal Government do so when local authorities fail to do so, is not an infringement of free speech. Protecting those who are harmed because of who they are or because they do not believe your religion is not unAmerican and against our Constitution which gaurantees everyone, freedom of religion, not just those who believe in deity.

For some reason Christians seem to think only they have the right of freedom of religion and nonbelievers have no such rights. Hate speech is not protected free speech. Speech that incites people to commit crimes against others is not protected free speech. If preachers tell people to not tolerate those who do not believe what they believe and call them to take physical action against those that do not share their beliefs, that is not protected free speech.

Preachers need to stick with "This is what we believe". Not "this is what everyone must believe".

Elizabeth

Lord Jehovah God: Forgive Them for they know not what they Say.;)Leo

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Elizabeth (imported) wrote: Wed May 06, 2009 1:57 am This really bothers me. The fake apology.

>>

I see what you mean, Elizabeth. In my earlier post I was trying to chuck a line to Leo(n)(a) and see if I could start to understand what (s)he was on about.

Perhaps I shouldn't have bothered.

One can only apologise for one's own misdeeds. Apologising for how everyone/anyone else construes one's actions is like the Captain of the Titanic apologising for the iceberg's stupidity in being in front of his ship.

Old Greebo (imported) wrote: Fri May 08, 2009 1:01 pm I see what you mean, Elizabeth. In my earlier post I was trying to chuck a line to Leo(n)(a) and see if I could start to understand what (s)he was on about.

Perhaps I shouldn't have bothered.

One can only apologise for one's own misdeeds. Apologising for how everyone/anyone else construes one's actions is like the Captain of the Titanic apologising for the iceberg's stupidity in being in front of his ship.

Maybe there is a difference between apologizing and really feeling sorry about what happened to some one. Even if you didn't do anything wrong, you sure can feel sorry for something. If we could communicate in feelings in stead of having to use words (and different languages), this would save us a lot of misunderstandings

Jean