If Canada gets banned, I'm sending the Belugas'* after you all.

Last time, we turned back the invasion because of a lady named Laura Secord, armed only with semi-fine-quality chocolates; perhaps this time we will use one middle-aged overweight man armed with bacon, a pancake-flipper, one Tim Hortons' double-double and a 1/4-ounce of Northern Haze pot to repell y'all .

* Nifty Canadian Factoid #285; Northern Manitobas' shoreline area on Hudsons' Bay has the highest concentration of Beluga whales on the planet during summer.

StefanIsMe (imported) wrote: Thu Oct 23, 2008 12:45 am If Canada gets banned, I'm sending the Belugas'* after you all.

Last time, we turned back the invasion because of a lady named Laura Secord, armed only with semi-fine-quality chocolates; perhaps this time we will use one middle-aged overweight man armed with bacon, a pancake-flipper, one Tim Hortons' double-double and a 1/4-ounce of Northern Haze pot to repell y'all .

* Nifty Canadian Factoid #285; Northern Manitobas' shoreline area on Hudsons' Bay has the highest concentration of Beluga whales on the planet during summer.

Oh, No! Not the Belugas!!! How about throwing caviar at me instead (I'll catch the tins, please), and hopefully someone will show up with some fine wine while we sit out the war....

Believe me, everyone will know if someone bans Canada from the EA.

For one thing, the entire EA will go dark, considering as it's currently hosted in Canada. Servers don't tend to like it if you ban them from themselves.

We must not ban Canada for any reason, then again I have personal reasons for stating that.

If I couldn't talk to IEunuch everynight in the chatroom, I'd go "effing wacko."

P.S. Donate all your spare change to the Eunuch Archive. We'll take folding money, cashier's checks, money orders, inheritances of real property and gold bullion.

PLEASE DON't SEND body parts to the EA. They belong on River's shelf in a jar.

I would never ban Canada.

Someone from there once taught me to rip DVD's and copy them...

Where would I be without him?!

DeaconBlues (imported) wrote: Mon Oct 20, 2008 10:26 pm But honestly, when I read some of the threads here in the forums about "proper formating" and paragraph breaks and punctuation and the like, I get VERY discouraged.

My main comment is: your note in the forum is in exactly the right form -- see, you know how to do it already. You made paragraphs, used quote characters in appropriate places, and expressed yourself. If you can do it in that comment form, you can do it in other places.

I would suggest that you use software program that is simple, but not so simple that it lacks spell-check. Word fills the bill if you are used to it, but there may be other things that work better for you. Notepad and Wordpad (both are included free with Windows) can do it too, though they don't have spell-check (I don't think). Google Docs might be an option.

The other thing about simplicity is to keep to just the things that are easy to get from the keyboard, without using font sizes or fancy symbols or other things that can make a printed document look good. Those fancy things sometimes don't transfer well when you copy from one place to another. If you see an option "paste as plain text" that is almost always better than pasting with all the fancy formatting.

I know a lot of people find copy (or cut) and paste to fail more often than it works. I would recommend you find a neighbor who is proficient to help you practice. You could grab some text from lipsum.com and practice copying and pasting it from web page to Word to Notepad to Wordpad to Word again, just to see how it works. I think you'll feel more comfortable in no time.

The other thing that gets people discouraged is losing everything they've been working on, and the solution to that is saving a lot of copies. What I'd recommend is, every day or even twice a day, hit "save as" (wherever Word hides it this week) and save it with a different filename linked to that day/time, like LoremIpsum-2010-10-23-am.doc, then save it back to your working copy, LoremIpsum.doc. That way each day you have a copy of that day's work. If you really mess up your working copy, you can go back to yesterday or the day before. Another backup/versioning option that is fairly easy to use is Dropbox.com, which keeps multiple versions of files automatically online, as long as you remember to save your documents in the "My Dropbox" folder, not just in "My Documents".

You could also practice by sending a draft as a private message to your friends. I'd be willing to look at the formatting and give feedback, and wouldn't tease you if your first few efforts weren't perfect.

I don't have time to log in every day, so you might need to wait a few days for a response.

Im just grateful that there is a fiction archive and hope to be able to add to it in some way.

I have enjoyed the fiction archive for well over a decade now. There seems to be something for everyone. I would encourage all you budding authors out there to submit your stories.

With the news that the archive is shutting down I wanted to share the stories I still had within me, but didn't manage to finalize and submit.

For anyone who cares, or has noticed, my stories had a kind of arch or universe which each one covering a different topic.

For instance I submitted four circumcision stories, each one dedicated to more or less one circumcision style (I didn't do low and loose though) with all the main characters coming together in the last one ("The NGO", which happens to be my worst reviewed story).

Anyway, I still have one more story in the "Appointment for two" universe inside me and that is Konstantin's. Anna's younger brother who is briefly mentioned in my first castration story and briefly appears in "A visit to the ranch". For my castration stories I was going for one story per method kind of thing. I had done surgical and the burdizzo, and wanted to do an elastrator story with Konstantin. I may still be able to do it by the deadline, but if anyone is interested in reading it, please send me a PM.

Stories I may never get to share on this archive but had been taking shape in my head for a while is one related to the idea of "just losing one ball is not a big deal".

I had been toying here between two scenarios, one within the "Appointment for two" universe, where the protagonist thinks he is just going to lose one, but ends up losing both, and another one in another setting where a "kinky butcher" convinces her boyfriend and brother to each give up one ball. This would have helped me redeemed myself for what I think I didn't get right in the story "Going full time".

Finally, and this is the one who is the least sketched out, I imagined some sect who had broken off from main catholicism disgusted by the child abuse scandals, which demanded more from its priests than just bows of celibacy