• A community health problem of sorts.

Posted: **Sun Oct 05, 2008 5:51 am**

Good to see frank, honest, productive (and not abusive) communications.

I had sex with underage kids too, but only when I was also an underage kid. Dodged a bullet there I guess. Once I was no longer a kid I Never had any interest in underage thankfully.

I know, and avoid, someone who was a teacher, who had sex with a 15 year old. They went to jail, served their time, relocated to a new state, but will be a registered sex offender the rest of their life. I don't know if they just made a 1 time mistake, big mistake, or are a true pedophile. Some 15 year olds can pass off as 18 or 19, and they might have made an error in judgement and not been a pedophile. One never knows does one?

Holding emotions in check, especially the anger one, and contacting authorities as needed, and not taking the law into our own hands, seems to be safe course, unless of course immediate action might be possible, like stopping a kidnapping or beating, though you never know if the other party might have a knife or a gun.

We all have our "hot buttons". Things that are said, that we see, that happen to others, that happen to us, that just flip an internal switch and have the potential to send us into a rage of some degree (internalized, verbalized, or physical).

By learning what our hot buttons are, we can program ourselves to not react instinctively, but hold ourselves in check, giving the logical brain time to develop a plan.

Not easy, but can sure keep one from getting into a hissy fit, or going to jail.

Posted: **Mon Oct 06, 2008 12:14 pm**

chilliwilli (imported) wrote: Fri Oct 03, 2008 3:02 pm Plix-

I wrote a complete response but kept getting logged off and have to go for a few days.

The guy turned out to be into kids under 13 yrs. Why he felt it was ok to seek redeemtion in a spa with kids jumping around, got any ideas? And I am no man's redeemtion regardless. He could have worked with seniors, rode his bike, or volunteered to clean dog kennels. That's called redeeming yourself.

My father and mother married when dad was 19 and mum was 15. Today I would be the son of a registered sex offender. I have nothing but empathy for young men victimezed by a predatory "justice" system that labels them sex offenders for life when all they did was have an innocent relation with a girl underage...and I know it happens and it breaks my heart!and makes me resentful of the system in place.

But this dude was older, by his age he was either a rapist or a pedolphile. And I'd rather sit next to an axe murderer! And I feel I have a moral obligation to protect those around me within reason. Why? Because I can! If I had tits I would nurse orphaned babies, but I don't ok!

And yes I have "thought about what he might do if someone (I) gave him more compassion". The guy cast his lot the first time round, now he's a registered sex offender, what more does he have to lose? He would barter my compassion for a seat in the hot tub so he could befriend a single mother, become a sitter and start fucking kids!...end of story no doubt in my mind!

I ask someone to please defend me in my absence. I feel I got cut short...but I really am a nice person...until...well..

chilli-

Chilli, in this case you did the right thing. That guy should not have been around young kids.

I do have issues with the unreasoning anger that you expressed. That sort of thinking fuels a lynching.

These days, the slightest little thing like indecent exposure will get you branded a sex offender. It would seem that there are a lot of self-righteous folks out there who would throw other folks into dungeons for minor offenses. Major offenders such as murderers and rapists deserve such punishment.

Posted: **Mon Oct 06, 2008 7:35 pm**

In my state, photos etc. are all available. But there are lots of notices that the public is not to use the information to interfer with that person. You are simply to report what you have seen to the appropriate law enforcement group. Their job is to take it to the next level within the confines of the law.

I undersand the anger. If somebody molested one of my kids, I might ruin the rest of my life. I suppose I could take that anger out on every child molester. But there are degrees. A 40 year old seducing a 15 year old is a child molester. But so is a 16 year getting carried away some night with his 15 year old girl friend. I have no problem with them not being the same thing, although both are labelled child molesters. The law has no problem with them not being the same thing, because at least in my state there is a ranking system to hint at what happened. So it pays to hunt around a bit more before you get too fired up. You might end up going off the deep end about some guy that did as a teenager what we (mostly) all wanted to do instead of going ballistic over the classical stalker and pervert.

Posted: **Mon Oct 06, 2008 8:06 pm**

...

Arab Nights (imported) wrote: Mon Oct 06, 2008 7:35 pm But so is a 16 year getting carried away some night with his 15 year old girl friend...

In the state where I live the age of consent is 16, but for the crime of statutory rape the other person must be over 19. So there's some leeway. I haven't studied the laws of any other state but I would guess they have similar provisions.

I know a man who was accused by his young sister-in-law of some impropriety as revenge when he divorced his wife. The girl later retracted the accusation but the prosecution proceeded anyway. I didn't want to ask anyone what really happened, I'm sure there was something, but it was apparently blown out of proportion. After he got out of prison his ex-father-in-law continued to operate a business with him as partner, perhaps to tell the world that he was innocent and help him get his life back together.

Not only does molestation come in degrees but there's also the wrongly accused to keep in mind.

Posted: **Wed Oct 08, 2008 9:38 am**

_smokey_ (imported) wrote: Mon Oct 06, 2008 8:06 pm In the state where I live the age of consent is 16, but for the crime of statutory rape the other person must be over 19. So there's some leeway. I haven't studied the laws of any other state but I would guess they have similar provisions.

I know a man who was accused by his young sister-in-law of some impropriety as revenge when he divorced his wife. The girl later retracted the accusation but the prosecution proceeded anyway. I didn't want to ask anyone what really happened, I'm sure there was something, but it was apparently blown out of proportion. After he got out of prison his ex-father-in-law continued to operate a business with him as partner, perhaps to tell the world that he was innocent and help him get his life back together.

Not only does molestation come in degrees but there's also the wrongly accused to keep in mind.

State laws about sex crimes vary all over the place. The age of consent, the nature of the offense, the penalties, all vary greatly. It would take a lot of research to determine which state(s) are the most repressive in this regard.

I will give some advice - if you are accused of a sex crime, forget about a jury trial. You will not be tried by your true peers, but by a bunch of ignorant people who will be so shocked by the accusations that they will throw the book at you. A good friend of mine was accused of molesting his two children, a boy of 14 and a girl of 16. The girl got pregnant but it wasn't his. He claimed that he was innocent and went the jury trial route instead of a plea bargain of 1 year max. He got 6 to 15 in the State pen anyway.

Posted: **Sat Oct 11, 2008 9:36 am**

plix (imported) wrote: Sat Oct 04, 2008 10:13 pm You know, I've been thinking, and I think you and I are coming more from the same place than we realize.

We each wish to protect the people we feel are most vulnerable. You want to protect the victim, and that is certainly admirable. The crimes that these people commit are terrible and tragic, and no person should ever have to be a victim of this sort of crime.

Ever since I was very young, I have always felt sympathy for people convicted of or accused of crimes. I can't explain it; it's simply the way I've always felt, the same way many feel about the victims of crimes.

To me these people, and especially those convicted of sex crimes, are among the most hated people in the world, and I've always felt it necessary to reach out to those who are hated by society, those who have been discarded with no chance of redemption. I believe that no matter what anyone has done, we are all human, and we all make mistakes. Certainly some mistakes may seem more grievous than others, but to me mistakes are mistakes, and I don't belive that even the most serious of them all causes one to lose his humanity. To me, humanity is something inborn to all human beings and something that cannot be lost.

I believe that the nature of mistakes means that people can learn from them, and they can regret them. I also do not believe that making a mistake means they are sure to make the same one in the future, or that it should be assumed they will repeat that mistake. I am a strong believer in second chances, and even more than that if need be.

You are a protector of the victims; I am a protector of the perpetrators. Society needs both, and I am thankful for both sides.

We both want to protect the group of people we feel need protection, and by that I think we are actually quite similar and after the same thing here.

And I do admit I may have been a bit harsh in my previous post. But I think both of us were pretty harsh here (you in your actions toward the guy, me in my words toward you), and I think we will both become that way when it comes to defending the ones we wish to protect.

Plix-

I apologize, I am really self-centered in my own desire for self recognition, and will use any issue to further that goal. I disregard the feelings of others and have been called a "snot" multiple times for this. Sometimes I even wonder if I could give a rats ass about anyone but myself, other times I feel so small I will accept any kind of attention regardless of the consequences.

I'm a "thinker" too...but I lack the moral fiber or foundation to make sound judgements. This is why for years I refrained from making judgements and continue to avoid making such decisions today. In fact, I used to "hang out" with such ammoral people and have grown to love and accept them into my life for who they are. People have called me "co-dependent."

I know you can handle a difficult situation based on your response. In the old days, we would call you a "stand-up kinda guy". You do sound like a fine young fellow and I would happily let you care for my child without concern.

Please accept my apology, I too am a man who can change, as you can see. And again, the next time a known moral "creatin" approaches, he will be greeted with open arms, a loving heart and acceptance.

chilli-

Posted: **Mon Oct 13, 2008 8:23 pm**

There's no need to apologize. We are all human beings, and we all act like human beings. We will do drastic things to protect those we feel are vulnerable.

I have no problem admitting I am an extremely selfish person. I put my own needs and wants before the needs and wants of others far more often than I am comfortable with. I strive daily to improve myself into the person I wish to be, but so far I am failing miserably.

I see life as a journey that involves learning and growing from our experiences and encounters with others. I believe anyone can change, but I don't want to see anyone change into someone they are not at heart. Staying true to oneself is the most important decision one can make. I believe that no matter who we are, what we believe, or what we have done, there is a necessary spot in this world for all of us.

Posted: **Tue Oct 14, 2008 10:24 am**

plix (imported) wrote: Mon Oct 13, 2008 8:23 pm There's no need to apologize. We are all human beings, and we all act like human beings. We will do drastic things to protect those we feel are vulnerable.

I have no problem admitting I am an extremely selfish person. I put my own needs and wants before the needs and wants of others far more often than I am comfortable with. I strive daily to improve myself into the person I wish to be, but so far I am failing miserably.

I see life as a journey that involves learning and growing from our experiences and encounters with others. I believe anyone can change, but I don't want to see anyone change into someone they are not at heart. Staying true to oneself is the most important decision one can make. I believe that no matter who we are, what we believe, or what we have done, there is a necessary spot in this world for all of us.

Plix-

Staying true to oneself in the face of adversity can be daunting, but age may offer wisdom and through wisdom comes strength.

Helping people people find their "spot" can be enriching and validating all at the same time. You seem to have many excellent traits which can be rewarding with age.

chilli-

A community health problem of sorts.

Re: A community health problem of sorts.

Re: A community health problem of sorts.

Re: A community health problem of sorts.

Re: A community health problem of sorts.

Re: A community health problem of sorts.

Re: A community health problem of sorts.

Re: A community health problem of sorts.

Re: A community health problem of sorts.