chilliwilli (imported) wrote: Wed Sep 03, 2008 12:50 pm
...I personally know three men who have been sexually abused as children. Myself and two friends, all of us are single with issues.
My friend "Jim", was molested over an extended period by a close male relative. He is most certainally gay, but shuns the lifestyle do to familial respect. His family is very involved with the catholic church and missionary work. He's fucked. He cannot maintain a relationship with a woman despite great social skills. He is a nice guy with no criminal record and attractive.
My buddy "Xris" got placed in foster care for 2.5 years with a couple, male/female, that was into little boys. For the duration he recalls getting into bed with the two, individually. He's fucked. He is a complete hustler, a liar who manipulates emotions and relationships to get by. He is bisexual and places little or no value on close emotional bonds. We get along great as ex-street kids.
I got completely fucked by my mother. For the rest of my life I'll be a 5 year old boy. I'm fucked. I need a whole ring of adults around me just to cross the god damn street. I get told I can advance in my career and personal life whenever I want to. Based on conversations with my buddies and my own experience I know this is shit!
Today I am pissed off like hell, why the system let myself and "xris" stay in these homes is unforgiveable. And no body gives a damn. I'm not ashamed anymore, as a young man I think I subconciously hid my condition. People think the shit is funny, and nobody gives a shit.
It's all about if "uncle ernie is screwing his niece or father o' rielly is touching the choir." I feel like a POS that was born to pump money into the system and do all the crap no one else wants to.
I seriously feel like going down to the creek and fucking up a day in the sunshine for the college kids.
So I have begun to realize that this country tolerates, if not supports certain types of molestation. So all the BS aside, As a male is it better to get buggered by a female, male. or both? No sympathy, just what are the advantages and disadvantages of both.
the disgruntled domestic
chilli-
I too am sorry that happened to you...it happens all too often, and in all human societies, it's just hidden and/or tolerated more in some places than in the West.
Let me tell my experience here. I was *ALMOST* molested by the town perv in the tiny little town I grew up in. I didn't know what a predator was, and I didn't even have much idea what a gay person was. He offered me a ride home one evening as I was leaving school from an event...instead of taking me home he went to a local drive-in and ordered us Cokes, and then started rubbing my leg. I somehow (rigid with fear) managed to take charge, get out of the car, and I walked home...and it was even farther now than it had been when he picked me up. I was royally pissed, scared at what almost happened, and never told my folks, I just kept it to myself.
Fast forward 4 years...I'm older, wiser, tougher (high school football will do that to you), and he was just older, that's all. He might have been 35 at that time. It was at yet another high school event (a school dance), and this guy was hanging around the bleachers area...at that time, there was little control of who came around schools, all were considered tax paying citizens and he was no exception. He had gained a nickname by that time, it was "Hoppy" D. I won't mention his last name here, but Hoppy by now was known as the town perv. Some of the other football players saw Hoppy and decided to run him away from the school. Owing to my past experience with him, I thought that sounded like a marvelous idea. With the teachers and chaperones looking the other way, either by collusion or because they were just unobservant, we rushed him and sort of pushed and hustled him outside and then chased him when he ran to the end of the parking lot...a dirt field where people parked for games and school events.
Now keep in mind that where I grew up there was an active KKK brotherhood, and I even knew who some of the members were. I was not into that, but it just gives you an idea of the milieu I grew up in. Street justice happened frequently, and the court system got involved much less frequently. People got murdered there and sometimes no one ever went to prison over it. Union organizers tried to organize the local coal miners and a few of them got killed, one by a 12-gauge shotgun, and one by three sticks of dynamite. It was (and still is) a tough Appalachian mountain town.
The chase ended as quickly as it started and Hoppy ended up on the ground, and not in the way that his fantasies would have liked. First it was fists, and then kicks...7 or 8 of us dishing out a mixture of homophobia and (in my case) revenge. I have to admit that it felt good at the time (the revenge part, that is) but later that night I wondered if the cops were going to come to my home. They didn't and it did not cause any kind of public scene. Hoppy kept out of sight for a long time, and I think he may have taken his ways to a nearby large town about an hour's drive from my town.
In later years I felt bad about it...we could have killed him if it had gone on too long, and I now know he was probably just a victim of some other perv and he was also a victim of his appetites. Had that happened today, my class mates and I would have gone to jail overnight, but the good old boys where I grew up, and especially the cops, might not have said a thing, even if Hoppy had complained. Ah well, life is a journey of learning, and I suspect my karma will be affected by that night, and I'm sure in my "life review" after going through the tunnel of light will include every moment of that night.
I understand from reading the other entries in this topic that most people who were molested as kids ever get to enact revenge, especially in the physical way I did, and maybe that's a good thing... revenge is a terrible thing, and I am beginning to think that the best thing we can do is to forgive. And that's not coming from a Christian (you all already know how I feel about that), but rather as a human being with a conscience and a believer in karma, soul, and what happens next after this life.
