• Is my b/f trying to tell me something?

Posted: **Thu May 08, 2008 6:29 pm**

nonuts (imported) wrote: Thu May 08, 2008 7:35 am If you love your boyfriend why would you care? What if he got testicular cancer and they were removed, would you reject him for being nutless?

To me that's different. See I don't think I would be very supportive if he wanted a nose-job, or if a female friend of mine wanted breast implants. Maybe castration also has some functional benefit (eunuch lifestyle or simply not sitting on them) but I think that cosmetic surgery in general legitimizes our western obsession with an arbitrary culturally defined body image which is unrealistic, often unhealthy, and almost always unobtainable.

Does that make any sense?

Posted: **Thu May 08, 2008 8:28 pm**

industry7 (imported) wrote: Thu May 08, 2008 6:29 pm To me that's different. See I don't think I would be very supportive if he wanted a nose-job, or if a female friend of mine wanted breast implants. Maybe castration also has some functional benefit (eunuch lifestyle or simply not sitting on them) but I think that cosmetic surgery in general legitimizes our western obsession with an arbitrary culturally defined body image which is unrealistic, often unhealthy, and almost always unobtainable.

Does that make any sense?

It makes sense on one end of a continuum. Give the other end some credence as well. Sometimes body image is a crucial element in well-being , psychologically, and its beneficial effects upon physical health as well (never mind the sometimes ill-effects). Fully a third of the folks at the EA express a desire to be rid of some or all of their bits in direct relation to "cosmetic" or "body-image" issues (read BIID, among other things), which is no less legitimate as a concern than libido or others, notwithstanding "obsessions" derived from any of the reasons folks proffer for castration. Sometimes the best cure for a situation stares us in the face despite our best efforts at being horrified by it.

Posted: **Fri May 09, 2008 1:37 am**

If he's brought the subject up twice in the past week, he certainly has thoughts about castration. He might just be fantasizing about it, but it must be something he likes. As stated, ask him about it. Some men just fantasize about castration and do so for years & years. Others, like me, had to have our testicles removed. Hash

Posted: **Fri May 09, 2008 7:18 am**

Batman (imported) wrote: Thu May 08, 2008 5:06 pm [shrug] You'd have to ask Darwin or Himself for the answer to that one. I was just being scientifical

Batman

Certainly wasn't intending to insult your comment Batman. Just expressing a point of view on the whole theory of why they are hanging out there. Personally, I think it's as likely they were intended to be vulnerable. Dunno...always fun to speculate though.

Posted: **Fri May 09, 2008 7:22 am**

industry7 (imported) wrote: Thu May 08, 2008 6:29 pm To me that's different. See I don't think I would be very supportive if he wanted a nose-job, or if a female friend of mine wanted breast implants. Maybe castration also has some functional benefit (eunuch lifestyle or simply not sitting on them) but I think that cosmetic surgery in general legitimizes our western obsession with an arbitrary culturally defined body image which is unrealistic, often unhealthy, and almost always unobtainable.

Does that make any sense?

It makes sense because it's how you feel and what you believe. There can be many reasons for guys to desire castration, including yes aesthetics. I think my point is more about an environment where your BF can be comfortable to be open and honest with you. I am sure if your opinions are well known to him, and he FEELS your mind is closed on the subject he's not at all likely to discuss it with you. And even if you ask him, I don't necessarily think he'll answer honestly, he fears loosing you and the relationship, he could lie to you about it forever to protect it, but will he be happy?

Posted: **Fri May 09, 2008 10:50 am**

I had a long talk about Body Image when I discussed my desire for implants after my Orchiectomy. My GP said that women take a lot of heat for wanting "cosmetic" surgery to enhance their appearance but its still "valid" to want to improve your looks if its of value to your self.

Men have not been as "active" doing that but its no less valid.

The important thing is to not have anyone carving on you if its not important to you. Or with your BF if he does it for someone else? Thats probably a poor idea.

kristoff wrote: Thu May 08, 2008 8:28 pm It makes sense on one end of a continuum. Give the other end some credence as well. Sometimes body image is a crucial element in well-being , psychologically, and its beneficial effects upon physical health as well (never mind the sometimes ill-effects). Fully a third of the folks at the EA express a desire to be rid of some or all of their bits in direct relation to "cosmetic" or "body-image" issues (read BIID, among other things), which is no less legitimate as a concern than libido or others, notwithstanding "obsessions" derived from any of the reasons folks proffer for castration. Sometimes the best cure for a situation stares us in the face despite our best efforts at being horrified by it.

Posted: **Fri May 09, 2008 11:07 am**

I have been a part of the eunuch community for several years now. Even after all this time, there are a number of reasons members have given for castration that I do not understand or approve of. However, what I do understand is that it makes sense to them. Just because it does not make sense to me does not mean it does not have validity. We are all different and see the world differently. You do not have to understand or accept your boyfriend's reasons for castration, but as long as you understand that it makes sense to him, then you can communicate a lot better about it.

Posted: **Fri May 09, 2008 1:25 pm**

nonuts (imported) wrote: Fri May 09, 2008 7:22 am It makes sense because it's how you feel and what you believe.

Maybe I should have asked, "Does that make sense to everyone else?" Or maybe I didn't explain myself very well?

Anyway, I did ask him about it today. I tried to be as casual as possible and made sure he understood that I would be supportive, and asked him more than once to make sure and he said he really didn't want them gone. I asked him specifically about when he said the other day about not minded if he never had balls. He said that what he meant was that he'd rather that humans in general had been made without balls, b/c he thinks they look gross on all guys, but that since we do have them he wouldn't want to change anything about his body.

So I'm pretty sure that he wasn't lying or trying to cover anything up, and it ended up not being a big deal. I'm glad I just asked directly.

Posted: **Mon May 12, 2008 8:24 am**

I find your intelligence from other gay men interesting. While the motivation for having my own balls severed was partly medical, I've also found it extremely comfortable and even aesthetically pleasing. I still also identify as a man - the reason my signature is just 'ballless.' I'm also lucky to have a partner that thoroughly accepts my balllessness. The base of y cock where the balls used to be attached has become one of my most erotic areas, quite different than before I was castrated, and I couldn't stand the area being touched.

raymar2020 (imported) wrote: Thu May 08, 2008 4:10 am Surprisingly large numbers of men are not crazy about having balls..... I have learned over the years, that lots of men(especially gay men) would cheerfully give up having them, not because castration is such a turn on, but that the idea of not having those not so attractive appendages hanging there is the turn on..........I am friendly with a half dozen men who chose to have them removed, for aesthetic reasons, not as some grand part of the whole eunuch culture. They identify as male, not eunuch, and just chose to no longer have balls, as some men choose to be circumcised rather than keep their foreskin.......If your partner really wants to lose his balls, and it will make him happy, who are you to hold him back from that? You might just find that it would make your relationship even stronger.

Is my b/f trying to tell me something?

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