Hash (imported) wrote: Fri Apr 04, 2008 4:36 am Milkman,
I think your overwhelming urge/desire to be castrated is very similar to what I went through. Over a period of several years I had extremely strong urges to be castrated and even attempted it several times on my own, but was never able to fully go through with it out of fear. Eventually my fears grew less or my desire to be castrated got stronger and took over. I eventually was able to have one testicle removed and then because my remaining testicle was so abused, I had Dr. Kimmel remove it. I became a true eunuch in March 2006. I remember him specifically saying this when he saw my remaining testicle, "This does not look good, it's good you had it removed, it would have caused you problems down the road." So my overwhelming desire to be castrated eventually led me to be castrated, which seems to be the way it goes for a lot of eunuchs. You will probably become a full fledged eunuch one day, which is not a bad thing. It seems that that's our destiny. Hash
I suspect you and Guy26 are speaking of two different things. An overriding compulsion is just that, an obsessive compulsion. With bipolar disorder (manic-depression) emotions, sentiments, even obsessions, wax and wane over time, repeatedly like an up and down cycle. The cycle can be as short as months, or as long as a year and more. Sometimes the one in the middle of it may have a difficult time telling the difference. In either case, acting on the emotional state is usually regrettable, and often disastrous. This is an action that is always best approached from a sound, calm, rational perspective with the assurance of conviction of a need, not just a want.