Unlike me

[Free to be ME (imported)]

Sadly my class figured me out before I did and announced their opinions and physically abused me at each and every opportunity. I wonder now if all that hate directed at me was not a gift. Once I had experienced hate and torment at that level I find it impossible to hate others.

I had similar youth to me its all good but a stick shift is a bit more fun. I was a tall thin blonde very willowy in build as a youth and as sucha target. The hatred to me was not a gift it was curse it made me socially akward, angry at the whole world, afraid to meet people, afraid to be my self for many years and deathly afraid of loosing my control of my temper it happened once and that was more then enough.

No having intolerence and hate and violence pushed on you because you look different or are sexually different is not in any way a gift at all it is the most vile thing that can be done to a person second only to rape.

[coinflipper_21 (imported)]

It's unfortunate, but you don't have to get very far outside a major metropolitan area in this country to find that intolerance seems the norm. This was confirmed to me by some gay and lesbian couples, close friends of mine, that had the idea of living in semi-retirement in quiet, picturesque communities in states with less frantic lifestyles. Close investigation of acquiring property and getting jobs in these places made them come to the realization that the idea was a delusion. It's not that they couldn't fit in, these couples are the salt of the earth, it's just became apparent that almost no one would let them. They have decided to stay in Southern California.

Most of us think of tolerance as a goal and realize that we, as a nation, still have a long way to go. What we fail to consider is how many people, even in this country, do not see tolerance as a goal at all.

[The Lurker (imported)]

Randy-

Have your perceptions about homosexuals changed since coming the the Archive? If so, how?

Your religious convictions are strong. How do you balance the Word with your Heart?

[Tilt (imported)]

Yes, thank you Randy. Attending high school in a small Ohio town in the early 70's was not much fun. Sadly my class figured me out before I did and announced their opinions and physically abused me at each and every opportunity. I wonder now if all that hate directed at me was not a gift. Once I had experienced hate and torment at that level I find it impossible to hate others.

I grew up in the 80s in a suburb an hour west of Boston and it wasn't much for for me either. I eventually quit school in my sophomore year because I was so emotionally distraught at that point. Unlike you however I can't stop hating them all. At times I want them to feel the pain they have inflicted on others, but I know even if they did it would never be enough to make up for the things that have been done to people like you and I. I have all kinds of issues and some of them I'm sure are a direct result of how people treated me. Depression, PTSD, rages..all kind of fun stuff. At the best of times I'm trying to be a tolerant person that sees the good in other people and forgive those that I can't see any good in. But to this day, I trust no one. I am always nervous when someone is walking behind me. Loud noises freak me out, and I'm always ready for a fight at any time. I can't sustain a relationship, and friends are few and far between though I do have a few and am lucky for them. My career that never was has me earning less than 40g's a year.

Ain't life grand?

[tugon (imported)]

I grew up in the 80s in a suburb an hour west of Boston and it wasn't much for for me either. I eventually quit school in my sophomore year because I was so emotionally distraught at that point. Unlike you however I can't stop hating them all. At times I want them to feel the pain they have inflicted on others, but I know even if they did it would never be enough to make up for the things that have been done to people like you and I. I have all kinds of issues and some of them I'm sure are a direct result of how people treated me. Depression, PTSD, rages..all kind of fun stuff. At the best of times I'm trying to be a tolerant person that sees the good in other people and forgive those that I can't see any good in. But to this day, I trust no one. I am always nervous when someone is walking behind me. Loud noises freak me out, and I'm always ready for a fight at any time. I can't sustain a relationship, and friends are few and far between though I do have a few and am lucky for them. My career that never was has me earning less than 40g's a year.

Ain't life grand?

I did not come to this level of peace easily. I used to suffer from depression and I am recovering from PTSD. I still jump when toast pops up due to my exaggerated startle response. I have some great heavy metal music that I used to rage with and I am at my worst when driving. This year is my 35th year class reunion and I laughed when I received my invitation. I hold no ill will but have no desire to see any of them. Quite a while after high school "Carrie" was my favorite movie. I sadly can understand how young people can think of taking guns to school and dealing with the bullies. I suffered sexual abuse as a child and was in a long term situation where I was physically and sexually abused.

Then when I turned fifty it hit me that I had lived 2/3 of my life. Oh my I only have a limited time left. I decided to be happy. I am not saying every day is easy but I am having some great days. I had to let so much go. Negative people had to go from my life. Music and art was a contributor to my happiness. A friend and I are going into Build a Bear and make our own bears. I am doing anything I want to do rather it is age appropriate or not. I am surprised that with the negative feelings gone people respond more positively to me. This reinforces my desire to be positive. I hope one day you can reach a level of happiness that you deserve. Times a wastin'.

[Tilt (imported)]

I did not come to this level of peace easily. I used to suffer from depression and I am recovering from PTSD. I still jump when toast pops up due to my exaggerated startle response. I have some great heavy metal music that I used to rage with and I am at my worst when driving. This year is my 35th year class reunion and I laughed when I received my invitation. I hold no ill will but have no desire to see any of them. Quite a while after high school "Carrie" was my favorite movie. I sadly can understand how young people can think of taking guns to school and dealing with the bullies. I suffered sexual abuse as a child and was in a long term situation where I was physically and sexually abused.

Then when I turned fifty it hit me that I had lived 2/3 of my life. Oh my I only have a limited time left. I decided to be happy. I am not saying every day is easy but I am having some great days. I had to let so much go. Negative people had to go from my life. Music and art was a contributor to my happiness. A friend and I are going into Build a Bear and make our own bears. I am doing anything I want to do rather it is age appropriate or not. I am surprised that with the negative feelings gone people respond more positively to me. This reinforces my desire to be positive. I hope one day you can reach a level of happiness that you deserve. Times a wastin'.

Thank you, I'm trying my best. It's a struggle sometimes but not all days are bad. Time seems to heal most wounds, and with age comes wisdom...I hope anyway.

[randy (imported)]

Randy-

Have your perceptions about homosexuals changed since coming the the Archive? If so, how?

Your religious convictions are strong. How do you balance the Word with your Heart?

Hi Lurker. Thanks for the intimate question.

I guess the preconceived answer is that being Christian, I thought all homosexuals were odd cellar dwellers coming out only to slake their lusts then I came to the archive and found out they were all little angels. Well no that is not the answer. I’ve known all along homosexual people are just normal people who prefer to have sex with their same gender. If you woke up on the wrong side of the bed, right here would be a good place to stop.

How do I balance the Word with my Heart? I try to stay true to the Word. Some of what I have read on the archive about homosexual sexual escapades seem like hell on earth to me. But who am I to judge? How I see homosexual fornication is how I see heterosexual fornication. They’re both carnal. There is nothing spiritual about having sex outside of marriage. But everyone struggles with this.

If I had to rank the sins, homosexuality would be on one of the lowest levels. Many Christians think it is an unpardonable sin but it is just like any other worldly act. I’ve had this conversation before with people on the streets and in the chat room. Basically their last question is; “So, bible man, since marriage is between a man and a woman, and sex outside of marriage is wrong, then gay people should just live a sexless life?” To which I reply, “I seems to work for me.” Then they usually reply “bah no way.” That is what it boils down to is choosing spirit or flesh.

One thing I didn’t know about the homosexual community was how rampant drug abuse was. I hope someone can tell me I am wrong on this but just from my personal observations I have come to find it to be true. That a higher percentage of gay people are addicts than straight people. A few months ago I had a chance to do some personal witnessing to people just on the streets around town for a couple months. I just talked to anyone that would listen. About 40 of them turned out to be homosexuals. The thing that really stood out to me was that about 70% of them were addicted to drugs or alcohol. I have noticed about the same ratio from the people in the chat room that come along.

Like I said, I've known all along gay people were normal. I have found the gay people here to be just as normal smart and talented as the ones I knew before coming here. I am glad to have many of you as my friends.

[bobover3 (imported)]

Randy, before you buy into a new unflattering stereotype about homosexuals being "carnal" and "drug abusers," let me explain that people work at conforming to social norms only to the extent that they believe it's possible for them to succeed. Look at any minority group that's been historically scorned and you'll see a high incidence of "immoral" behavior, including wild sex and drug use. Bigots like to point at this to justify their bigotry, but the truth is that the bigotry preceded the crimes, and might be said to have caused them. You see, if people think there's a good chance of their being accepted as upstanding, admirable citizens, then they'll do what it takes to round out the picture of themselves as good people (despite many private hypocrisies - virtue is often only for public display). The hope of being respected by other people is a strong incentive to virtuous behavior. If someone believes that whatever they do, no matter how virtuous they may be, they'll still be scorned, then the social incentive for virtue disappears. When people know they'll get no respect, no matter what they do, they lose the greatest constraint on most people's behavior.

Homosexuals are no more "carnal" than straight people. If you think not, I suggest you visit web boards about heterosexual sex and "swingers." You'll find that carnality is always with us. Don't confuse your own innocence/ignorance with what's typical of heterosexuals.

There are millions, perhaps tens of millions, of drug abusers in the US. Drug abuse is no more prevalent among homosexuals than among your more "respectable" neighbors. The difference, if any, is that heterosexuals work harder to conceal what they do. Read any serious news analysis about drug use, and you'll see how widespread it is in the "heartland." Again, I think you're substituting your own innocence/ignorance for what's real.

[TeraNata (imported)]

Homosexuals are no more "carnal" than straight people.

I think that's what he was trying to say. The church's condemnation of homosexuality was part of a condemnation of all non-procreative sex.

[donny collins (imported)]

Hi Guys: I was reading the posts and I thought I had to putt my 2 cents in. I live in a pretty "christian" area (Knoxville, Tennessee in The South). I hear a lot of hate stuff against gays and always thought that such stuff was against Jesus's teaching about brotherly love. I bet the louse who castrated me is a christian since there just aren't many other faiths here. when I was in the hospital a investigating cop told me they looked for them but couldn't find my balls and sack. The cops figured he took them for "trophies." I came here accidently and was totally alone and depressed. Not even my dad wanted me around. Then I met you guys and you accepted me right off. You were kind and warm and like family. You showed me what REAL humans are about and I'm greatful. Prejudice and hate against folks because of ANY reason is bad. Hate against folks becausee they are gay is not only wrong but stupid. You guys showed me you are like my brothers and if you're gay, straight or whatever, I love you all. Just two centts wworth of not much. Luv ya all, Donny Collins