Saying goodbye at the introductions

[A-1 (imported)]

Lead Apron? Really, No. they are not. However, Leukemia goes with over-exposure. What kind of radiation?

Unless you are playing with Uranium for Ididajob... in which case a lead apron is like wearing a raincoat in a tornado... or hurricane...

[Jean Op den Kamp (imported)]

Lead Apron? Really, No. they are not. However, Leukemia goes with over-exposure. What kind of radiation?

Unless you are playing with Uranium for Ididajob... in which case a lead apron is like wearing a raincoat in a tornado... or hurricane...

:withstupi

Hey A 1,

My Vietnamese students at the Dutch lessons, they need A 1 minus level to pass the exam and get the papers for their visa to the Netherlands

Your posting is not at A 1 minus level, damned sure not.

Because it comes from you, we could say that it has to be A 1 level....

that should be easy to understand.

I read your posting, took a shower, thought it over and I have to admit that I can only try to understand and hope I do..............

But please, don't wake me up, let me have my dream that I do.

I am finished with my work for today, planning the promised posting

Thinking it over what I want to say, it is a raw deal to see even more clear what kind of POS I need to talk about, and it is about me. Funny promise I made

I want to keep it short, but after a lot of postings, I got afraid that people will not understand.

Have me a minute (or240) and then if you see that I am not clear, kick my ass and tell me. I will be grateful for it

loveUall

Jean

[fhunter]

I read your posting, took a shower, thought it over and I have to admit that I can only try to understand and hope I do..............

It was about randy's signature

Is this lead apron really necessary ?:

At least as I can understand this.

[kristoff]

It was about randy's signature

At least as I can understand this.

Refers to the lead apron used to protect one's balls when having an xray....

[Jean Op den Kamp (imported)]

As promised:

I will try to tell things short and clear, but if I fail, please let me know

If you had asked me that morning, if I could do that, or dare to do that, I would have told you you were nuts. That afternoon it had happened.

R** a twelve year old boy spend several hours at my condo. He took a shower and without using a towel ( or his clothes) he jumped on the bunkbeds,stretching himself wet and naked as long as he could in the sunlight.

Warm feelings for him had been running through my mind for several months, but not this way. His beauty and the situation surprised me, overwhelmed me

Standing next to the bed, looking at his great smile, something was exactly at the right high. I sucked him of for about a minute......

As he said nothing, I asked:"And" His answer was very short, and later I heard it many times: "It sure didn't hurt"

After he came home, for me, it started. A blind panic. What had I done, what was going to happen. It had nothing to do with normal being afraid of something. It really got me. That night I got a few fever attacks, didn't sleep a minute and I remember that I had to vomit at least two times. A siren sounded outside, I was waiting for a knock on the door or the doorbell....

Nothing happened. But near the morning, my thoughts were more and more with R**. What about him. How humiliating would this have to be for him if he needed to tell and if the other boys of his group found out

The next day I needed to see him, I wanted him to understand that it was up to him what should happen. He showed up as if I had called him. We were looking outside, and I am sure we were looking at the same: Nothing

I started to tell him that what happened, had taken me by surprise. I told him about my fair and that most of all I cared about him. I promised him that if he wanted I would go with him to his home and tell them....

Slowly he started to ask questions. He didn't ask about the act, he was asking about him and me. He was finding out about my feelings to the other boys, and strange, I guess the most difficult question to answer to a young boy was why he was so special. As he started to ask about me, and my feelings, I got the feeling that he was using the opportunity to find out a lot he had wanted to know a long time about his "hero"

I didn't stop him, I didn't know if I should stop him, I just allowed him to turn me inside out. Never before I had told somebody so clearly about my feelings

At last he decided that we should go!!!! The hell, we ended up at Mc Donalds

Even years later as I tried to talk about it, he called me an old fool and I shouldn't make a big deal out of it.

Looking back, I am so glad that I offered him this talk. What if I had made it a secret and never talked about it any more. What if my fair had made me ignore him

There is no justification. Please don't read these words as a justification.

If it had been the other way around, first talking and then acting....we could start a hell of a discussion and some members may like to kill me again.

But that has nothing to do with this situation. My feelings toke over the control, and it is just blind luck that he could take it this way. I could have damaged him, nothing can take that away. For me, if the act is the same, the guilt is the same. Being lucky doesn't count

I cannot undo the past, it has happened, and mostly because I run out of control, I am ashamed about this

He still is one of my best friends, he has grown up, and I see him at least a few times each year. Before as many times I liked to find out if he felt okay, he blocked me of. I got the famous: "It sure didn't hurt" or I was sentimental and an old nuts.

About eight years ago, I wanted to change, and from that time I started to tell him my feeling in a special way. If I hand him a drink, any small gift, or if he has something he wants me to read.....I will slip next to his chair on one knee. Even with more people around, no one will notice. But only after a few times, he did notice. He has never told me that I shouldn't do this, nor has he called me an old fool. I am so grateful that it went this way, I never can say that I have earned this, and going on that knee sure is a good feeling.

In the weeks after this had happened, I noticed more and more that something was going on between the other boys of the group. They were not allowed to tell. Yeah sure, these young boys and their eyes, and not telling you. Police was questioning. My first thoughts were about R**, but I found out that it had nothing to do with him. I also found out that they were even going in to several schools to ask about me.

There was one good reason why I could think of no one else then R**, please understand me very well.

Sure , I was driving them around in a minibus with about 25 cm high letters

I:hearthrob KIDS Kreatief In Doen & Spelen.

And I had to worry a little about the way I got the money to do this all. (Fucking up the government in a way every guilden we spend on the KIDS costed the taxpayer 2 guilden, and no, I am not going to explain)

But they were asking about the way how I played with the children, if I kissed them. God damned, they were hunting me, there could be nothing, and for at least six weeks they went on and on, so they couldn't have a real clou

They wanted to hunt, and they wanted to hunt me, they wanted to judge me. Who the hell do they think they are..............

They like hunting games, they want to find out about judging...

It was me, who toke 12 pictures, ordered them in to a nice cartoon, numbered them and put them on the bunkbeds

I got arrested, and this moment I don't want to talk about how bad and hard that time was for me. It toke 12 weeks and 4 days. At my birthday they toke me to court.

There were two young boys on those pictures. One had refused to answer a word to the police. As they came to his home with the pictures he told them that he was angry that they had those pictures and he locked himself up in his room, shouting they had to leave. The parents of the other boy were present at the court...to take me home. Nobody cared about them or what they could say. Their son had ben asked to the police station (without his parents) and there was a statement that this has happened before we went to bed, I got naked and they had seen me with an erection. They forgot one thing: A suspect doesn't have the duty to defend himself. They should go to hell. I was beaten up by my inmates, as promised by the prosecutor

They should go to hell the damned bastards, I was going to judge, they started this game.

Yeah, you Fokke, you were my judge. If you have something to hide then don't look me in to my eyes. You son of a bitch. Sitting 50cm higher then me doesn't make you something to respect. And that research team can go to hell with you

Yeah I got exactly my 12 weeks and 4 days, and I came home that same day, finding out that my young friend had been crying for days at home, because it was his fault that I had to stay in jail. He wasn't even sure about what they had made tell him and what was in that statement.

As I went to the police office to order back my pictures, I found a nice chance to tell them that I was not going to ask for appeal . I had not ask for their opinion and they should go to hell, if I asked for appeal, I would ask for their opinion...No Way. They were angry that they had to pay me back all 10.000 pictures ( nothing wrong with them) And I told them clearly that I would deal with them in my way, and not by court.

As they understood that there was something strange with those 12 pictures, the war went on. I was ordered to court by the mother of that young boy who didn't talk. She demanded those pictures and negatives from her son, and as I asked clearly, she was advised to do so by the police.

She got nothing, those 12 pictures, and the other 12 from the 24 are mine, they are my ticket to selfrespect and they make it legal for me to call justice assholes. If you put them in order of the negatives, you find out a story that cannot go with the statement. I am fully dressed, it is clearly that the boys have been playing with the camera as they stayed at my home. The clock shows a time that they sure were not going to bed. They only had kicked out some clothes as it was a very hot day. The light and sunshine in my condo could be recognized from my stories even here on the board by a member

What about you Fokke, you judged me. You still like the game. They found your secret, do you like that. Having your kiddy porn hidden under your floor.

Now who is hunting who, I can still stand at the same place an with the same meaning as before. You changed nothing. It is you who lost his "Judging job" It is you who has to run and hide and people are looking at you with their neck. Well then please wait for the return match at my place...see you in hell you bastard.

October that year we toke the biggest group ever on holiday to Austria. We sent a postcard with the greetings from all of those KIDS to the police office.

About 50% of 100 complains were granted by research of the national detective department and the national ombudsman. I challenged the prosecutor for a duel to the death in the newspapers for misusing the frustrations of my inmates, making them beat me up. The young boy who was molested by the police and his dad as my official seconds and my family doctor as my official doctor. Yeah you coward, still waiting for you. If I have to choose about eating with you from one table, and going in to that elevator with my inmates once more, PLEASE HAVE THEM BEAT ME UP AGIAN

And don't think that I am going to forget any of you bastards, you pay you hear

Yeah, about paying, that was what I forget about. I was judging, I was showing people their way to hell, so I guess I earned to get the bill

It started slowly, I first didn't notice. I just thought that being free again would finish that hell. But I was playing with hell, and I got it.

First I started to notice that at the tv there always seems to be movies, series and so on with police, jail, handcuffs .... Later I started to look at the program to avoid them. More late I only looked video and dvd, so at least it was up to me.... Now, since I am back from Vietnam, my tv hasn't been turned on, don't know if it is still working.

Strange thoughts started. For every small mistake like forgetting to lock a door, I had to see a judge. Dreaming about it, trying to defend myself. At the morning calling myself an idiot for those dreams and wanting to go out...being afraid and unhappy as I had to see the judge about that door.............

Can't stop this shit, in over 25 years it has become worse and worse

In jail, I dreamed of being free and find hell behind a door as I woke up. Being free I started to dream from jail, being inside, waking up in panic.

I can sleep outside, at Nam, between the poorest and I feel save. What should be my save place, my own bed at home, has become a hell. Like a little child, I need to keep a light on, so in case I wake up I can see where I am. I am afraid, day after day from this hell.

2001 month 09 something happened. I thought that I had to right to hate each and every-one for what happened to me, and I got a lesson that I should stop this bullshit as I just couldn't. Vietnam was just an escape, I had to leave. Maybe it would have been great to die, but as I told before, it is no escape, you only take your problems with you, and you cannot change the story anymore. I had to pay, and there was no escape, no way out.

One can understand that he was wrong, that what he did was wrong One can accept his situation, and any punishment because he has to, and can't escape. But accept has an other more strong meaning. Really accept it, not looking for a way out, but willing to pay. I wanted to change, but I accepted what I had done. I guess that was what really started that change.

Hell is still there, every day. But somehow that is okay, I will pay my bill, don't worry

Update: Fokke, there will be no return match, at last not with me. You have enough to deal with for yourself. I am not going to judge you, go in peace and don't be to hard on yourself

Alex(ander) You were that young boy on those pictures, and you were so angry that the police got them. I guess you were never happy that I got them. I am going to see that you get a message. It is up to you, I don't need to keep them.

My "war" has a second part, landing up in jail. Do I really need to tell, I was far more worse than the first time. If I tell about it, I will only look like I want to show of with the fact that I can be "strange" and dangerous

I needed to make a bow. What deeper bow can I show you than stopping this bullshit. I have to pay, okay I pay, but that idiot has gone, until about ten days ago, I was afraid he could get back, but now I am sure he can't

Maybe I should tell what hit me in September 2001.

That is a question to you Kristoff, should I tell them about 09-11-2001 or just shut up. And was this enough of a piece of shit, or do I need to show that it can go worse

Only I am afraid that I can not make a deeper bow then ending this war

loveUall

Jean

Sorry it toke more than 240 minutes

[Jean Op den Kamp (imported)]

@1 -6+31 20 uur 59 minuten geleden door Frankie

nou man, maak je borst maar nat. Dat wordt minstens 6 weken taakstraf

@2 -5+52 20 uur 51 minuten geleden door gebruiker snaam

Ik vond het wel een slecht stuk van shownieuws, en zoals gewoonlijk weer proberen om "sensatie" te leveren.

Ze hadden een exclusief interview met een slachtoffer welke 30 jaar geleden door de zweminstructeur was misbruikt. Een dag later kwam naar buiten dat deze zweminstructeur slechts 19 jaar instructeur was.

Ik hoop dat ze nu eens een voorbeeld stellen en deze viespeuk ophangen. Zo publiekelijk mogelijk

@3 -4+93 20 uur 38 minuten geleden door jantjesmitje

@2

een voorbeeld stellen en deze viespeuk ophangen. Zo publiekelijk mogelijk ?????

Kan dat dan? Zomaar buiten al onze wetten om. Blijkbaar wel, want je bent er al aardig mee bezig.

Ik hoop dat je een extra plekje kunt reserveren, want dan wil ik graag vrijwillig met hem mee. Voel er namelijk weinig voor om in jouw wereld verder te leven

@4 -1+44 20 uur 34 minuten geleden door ditendat

die ouders..

benno adverteerde zelfs met 'stoeien met je zwemleraar' dat op het naaktstrand plaatsvindt.

dan mag je zwakzinnige kinderen hebben, maar zelf kom je er ook niet al te best af....

@5 0+65 20 uur 31 minuten geleden door jantjesmitje

@4

laat ons voorzichtig zijn met de gevoelens van anderen

@6 -3+56 20 uur 27 minuten geleden door ditendat

@3 & @5

moraalridder?

@7 -3+17 20 uur 21 minuten geleden door jantjesmitje

@6

Had je gedacht

@8 -1+48 20 uur 16 minuten geleden door PtE

Het lijkt hier nog mee te vallen, er wordt duidelijk gesproken van ontucht en er zijn geen aanklachten van verkrachting. Als je op dit moment als ouder je kind mee gaat nemen in je eigen opgeklopte "wat als" en "zou hij niet" fantasieen, creeer je een groter trauma dan wanneer je je eigen gevoelens zelf verwerkt zonder je kind daarmee te confronteren. Een wandeling op het slappe koord waarvan men voor de kinderen slechts kan hopen dat de ouders er toe in staat zijn.

@9 -2+59 20 uur 16 minuten geleden door scooter

Het moet gewoon maar eens afgelopen zijn..om deze lieden te beschermen.

Wat nou privacy??? En die gehandicapte kinderen dan??

Het is op geen enkele manier goed te praten..maar dan op geen enkele.

Je moet met je poten van kinderen afblijven...klip en klaar.

Net als de vader die zijn dochter met prijslijst en al op het net zetten.

En daar moeten we begrip voor opbrengen.

En nee ik ga niet beginnen met doodstraf, en of ophangen...

Dat is te snel geroepen, ik hoop dat hij nog een heel lang ondraagllijk leven krijgt.

In naam van die kinderen..gehandicapte kinderen ook nog..

Iedereen die ook maar enigzinds begrip op kan brengen, begrijpt wat hij voelt, en dan ben je goed fout bezig...want met de beste wil van de wereld, kan ik me er niets bij voorstellen.......GELUKKIG

@10 -1+410 20 uur 12 minuten geleden door ditendat

wat ik maar wil zeggen is: klagende ouders, er bestaat niets ergers.

stuur je kinderen gewoon niet naar een zwemleraar die met ze wil stoeien op het naaktstrand, dat klopt gewoon niet.

Denk na!

@11-4+411 20 uur 9 minuten geleden door wltr

#9 "Het moet gewoon maar eens afgelopen zijn..om deze lieden te beschermen. "

Wie beschermt deze lieden dan? Of vind je het beter dat deze man aan de woedende menigte moet worden uitgeleverd?

@12 -1+412 20 uur 5 minuten geleden door jantjesmitje

@10

natuurlijk heb je een groot deel gelijk, maar het zal ook mensen kwetsen

Je zou het wat breder en algemener kunnen stellen en niet juist nu deze ouders treffen:

Elke ouder die 's avonds de tijd zou nemen om eens gezellig (en zonder bijbedoelingen) een half uurtje bij zijn kind op het bed plaats te nemen voor het slapen gaan....zou toch zo'n band moeten opbouwen dat hij/zij merkt dat er wat mis is, en dat het kind zich vrij voelt om dingen te vertellen

Misschien het beste wat die ouders op dit moment kunnen doen, die kinderen instoppen met een lekkere knuffel, en even blijven, zodat ze zich veilig voelen

@13 -3+113 20 uur 2 minuten geleden door ditendat

@11

ja, en wie beschermt deze kinderen tegen hun ouders die ze maar toezichtloos met jan-en-alleman laat zwemmen. neem je dan nog wel verantwoordelijkheid voor je zwakzinnige kind of laat je dat aan een ander over?

@14 0+414 19 uur 58 minuten geleden door jantjesmitje

@11

Misschien zou het juist helemaal niet zo gek zijn om zulke mensen aan de menigte uit te leveren. Wie ze wil ophangen mag zich met indentificatie melden, zijn daden worden op video vastgelegd, en hij/zij wordt berecht....en vervolgens aan de menigte uitgeleverd.................................

Ik denk dat het heel snel over zou zijn.

@15 -2+115 19 uur 58 minuten geleden door ditendat

klagen vs verantwoordelijkheid, daar gaat het hier over en ik vind de balans verschrikkelijk de verkeerde kant opslaan. vandaar mijn tegenwicht.

@16 0016 19 uur 57 minuten geleden door jantjesmitje

@13

je bent kwaad hè. Daar is vaak helemaal niets mis mee

@17 -3017 19 uur 54 minuten geleden door wltr

#14 En mensen maar kankeren op landen waar zoiets normaal is.

@18 -1+118 19 uur 53 minuten geleden door ditendat

@14

moraalridder én kinderliefhebber, het moet niet viezer worden.

@19 -2019 19 uur 51 minuten geleden door ditendat

@16

fijn en lief van je dat je het zegt. *uchchchcch*

@20 -2+120 19 uur 49 minuten geleden door jantjesmitje

Ik zag er vandaag zo één in het zwembad. Hij deed nog niets fout. Maar wat moet je dan. Hem erop aanspreken, waarschuwen...dan breekt de hel los

Niets doen, dan ben ik straks mede verantwoordelijk. Het was een jonge badmeester

Gek hè, dat ik dat herken. Misschien binnenkort eens voorzichtig een grapje maken over dat Zoladex implantaatje van me. Kijken of hij de hint vat en zich laat sturen

@21 -1+121 19 uur 45 minuten geleden door jantjesmitje

@18

Kinderliefhebber?

Denk niet dat dat valt te veranderen, zie er ook geen reden voor. En om er in de toekomst met mijn vingers vanaf te blijven zijn hulpmiddelen

@22 -1+122 19 uur 34 minuten geleden door elles

Als ik dit zo lees stuur ik mijn kinderen naar geen enkele zwemschool meer alleen als ik er bij mag blijven.

Zo niet jammer dan geen zwemles meer leer het ze zelf wel.

@23 -3+123 19 uur 31 minuten geleden door wltr

Oplossing. Alle zwembaden sluiten. Fotograferen verbieden. Kinderen binnenshuis houden.

@24 0024 19 uur 26 minuten geleden door jantjesmitje

@23

Gelijk heb je, want als je het ze zelf wel leert, loopt je het risico dat ze je straks op je nek zitten

@25 0+225 19 uur 23 minuten geleden door magikooff..

ik was verbouwereerd te lezen, dat er binnen het zwemonderwijs geen 'bewijs van goed gedrag' wordt gevraagd/geëist; al jarenlang een heel normale gang van zaken iin kringen waar volwassenen behoorlijk direct met kinderen omgaan.

@26 -2+226 19 uur 18 minuten geleden door magikooff..

ik wil niets goed praten, in tegendeel, maar via de media, die er weer met man/vrouw en macht opduikt - 'er is geen (ander) nieuws , hé?! wordt ook deze scoop wer verschrikkelijk uit zijn verband gerukt en ontzettend hoog opgeblazen!

@27 -1+127 19 uur 18 minuten geleden door wltr

#25 Ik was nog meer verbaasd te lezen dat veel ouders er gewoon bij waren toen die foto's gemaakt werden.

@28 -1+328 19 uur 17 minuten geleden door wltr

#26 Tja, en die man is al veroordeeld zonder dat er een rechter aan te pas is gekomen. Vreemd dat zoveel mensen tegen de invoering sharia zijn maar in dit geval graag een uitzondering maken.

@29 0+229 19 uur 16 minuten geleden door PtE

@24 jantje=Jean? Success in that case....

@30 0+230 19 uur 13 minuten geleden door jantjesmitje

@27

er is inderdaad ook een andere kant.

Bij mij namen ze een ansichtkaart van de gemeente sittard in beslag. Gekocht op het postkantoor. Kreeg ze niet terug maar kon wel gewoon weer op het postkantoor een nieuwe kopen

De leesportefeulle (leesmap) ging ook mee als verdacht materiaal zijnde schadelijk bij vertoon aan kinderen.

Vandaar dat ik toch echt liever even afwacht met mijn mening over deze meneer

Over de politie heb ik die mening klaar, en de bewijzen voorhanden

@31 0+331 19 uur 12 minuten geleden door magikooff..

zo'n 40 jaar geleden kon nog een mannelijke leerkracht een kind op schoot nemen om te troosten, als het was gevallen, pijn had, zich niet lekker voelde, als er thuis iets was gebuerd en een kind- meestal een kleuter- 'tegen je op klom'en veiligheid zocht, want daar ging en gaat het nog steeds om: nu stoot je die kinderen onmiddelijk van je af... het zal tocht niet zo zijn, dat...!!!

Een jufrrouw kan en doet dat nog steeds: geen probleem!

@32 -1+132 19 uur 11 minuten geleden door jantjesmitje

@30

zou vergeten toe te lichten. Een foto van een meisje dat het pieletje van een jochie vasthoudt en blijkbaar ook een keer mag leren richten. Beiden een jaar of 5 a 6

Groetjes uit Sittard

@33 0+233 19 uur 9 minuten geleden door magikooff..

@27 heel veel ouders 'laten hun kind veilig achter..' wat fga je doen, als je je kind(je) aanmeldt voor zwemles? Alle bewijzen van goed gedrag opvragen?? ik weet hte

ff niet..

@34 -1+134 19 uur 9 minuten geleden door jantjesmitje

@29

Verhip, alweer herkend. Ben blijkbaar veel te echt voor deze wereld

loveUall

Jean

@35 0+135 19 uur 5 minuten geleden door jantjesmitje

@29

and thanks, zou ik bijna vergeten

loveU&all

Jean

@36 0+236 19 uur 2 minuten geleden door magikooff..

Ik heb ervaring met het basisonderwijs en daar moet op dit gebied verschrikkelijk spitsroeden gelopen worden; ARBO-wetgeving met regels; onderwijsinspectie en regels; bestuursopdrachten en hun regels... Medezeggenschapsraad-, Ouderraadsregels en dan wi je gewoon een kind troosten wat gevallen is en een pleister nodig heeft NO WAY!

@37 0+137 19 uur 44 seconden geleden door jantjesmitje

@36

Klopt, je kunt dat kind beter laten vallen

@38 0038 18 uur 46 minuten geleden door jan d h

de vrouw van benno weet van niets ???????????????????????????????

@39 -1+139 18 uur 9 minuten geleden door hazet

jammer dat niet eerst zaken met direct betrokkenen wordt besproken voordat het de pers in gaat !

er wordt nu onnodig veel schade aangericht aan jan en alleman.

de pers zal daar wel voor zorgen want het bregt geld op!

jammer dat gewin voor de feiten uitloopt!

@40 -1+140 15 uur 26 minuten geleden door jantjesmitje

@39

Gelijk heb je, maar wat doen die betrokkenen dan.....

die rennen naar de pers en verkopen het verhaal

PtE, you did recognize me on that webside. I love you for it.

And thank you so much for wishing me success.

I guess that was the right word in this case. Good luck wouldn't do

As I started this kind of postings a year ago, you could only read about people who wanted to hang some-one at the highest tree, cut their balls with a rusty knife, lock them up and throw away the key, burn them a.s.o.

After maximum two or three postings the moderators kicked me out, and my accounts got blocked. I don't remember how many names I needed

I have been threatened, people found out, and to many times I offerred them to come out so they could kill me. Even that politica, I asked her to cut my balls personaly

This is not a war, this is stopping a war

Several times threads like this, upto 2000 postings toke me 8 to 12 hours non stop. But if you check it out, you will see that the tone of the threads has changed. It seems not to be free to just want to murder people, castrade them and more,..... Suddenly ONE was there, and not running.

The last days I notice that the moderators now are kicking out the high three's

This is hard working, it manytimes toke the marrow from my bones, but it is working. Shouting is going down, more and more people are posting serious and opposite replies. Many times they wish me luck or tell me that they respect me for telling things open, taking my responsibility. Thing are changing, these threads are not the same anymore

PtE you are a member of this board. I would like to know who you are. I need your support far more hard her then on NUjij.nl

It would be great if members here would understand what I am doing. How much this takes from me many times. Maybe then Kristoff can understand why sometimes my PM's and postings are not as friendly as they should be.

So many times, fair is running through my body, but should I get afraid???

No Way.

I know I am nuts, don't tell them, it might be the only thing they already understand.

I don't care if I am nuts, this is working. Have me about three more months, and I do these postings under my full name, and if needed with an address

If it goes wrong, don't cry about me, you should understand that I knew the game I was playing. If it goes wrong, and you like to send flowers,

I love black roses, or the deep dark red ones (Ilona's)

JD van Mellestraat 37A 4461VR GOES the Netherlands will do

Who are you PtE, I like to know!!!! I love U, that I do know.

loveUall

Jean

[eefje46 (imported)]

je hebt oordelen en veroordelen, en sommigen mogen graag voorveroordelen. Ik maak foto's voor de judovereniging, tijdens de examen's en wedstrijden. Doe ik ook maar niet meer. Staan ook nog op mijn puter. oei oei oei.

grtz eef

[transward (imported)]

?????????????.

Transward

[kristoff]

Jean, I understand far more than you begin to realize. One can have sympathy for a perspective, but know that you have imposed only upon yourself your own troubles at the hands of others. Had I less understanding, I would have banned you long ago.

[Jean Op den Kamp (imported)]

Jean, I understand far more than you begin to realize. One can have sympathy for a perspective, but know that you have imposed only upon yourself your own troubles at the hands of others. Had I less understanding, I would have banned you long ago.

Maybe you would Kristoff, but you didn't. I am grateful for your patient.

I know to well that I've been very close to the limit and even over it.

In fact, I can run a pretty normal life this moment. I have a job, I am getting far better contacts to other people and I can even enjoy children again without going in the wrong direction

Have me a ban? I don't hope so. I need you and several members of this board to help me kick him out. Maybe my feeling was right, you don't need that second part of the story as it went far more worse. A young boy (and I loved him) got mangled in this fight. No I am not talking about sexual abusing him. I am talking about taking him in to a fight where everybody only could lose, as that was the purpose of the fight.

Tomorrow I am going to visit the father of that boy from the first part (R**)

to enjoy a best cup of coffee (made by hand, not by machine). I need to wait for Peter (EA member) and I hope we are going to find us a nice day

In two weeks, R** has his first time free on Sunday again, and than I will pick up his dad and we go see R**'s new address. I have a nice present for R**, not the big money one, but from the heart. And really, I love that slide on my knee, and I still love R**. I am so grateful that it is allowed to me to do this, that I still can see him, meet him and enjoy his life

The second boy, I know nothing about how he is doing now, about his feelings, if he hates me. And I can do nothing. I would offer my life to turn it back. It is not about the law, and what the judge had to tell about it. It is my own feeling that what I brought to him and his family was all my fault.

I thought that destroying myself, just to take others with me was a nice fight,

and I toke the wrong people with me. You need to see me cry? If you really understand so much, you should know what I am doing this moment.

I thought I found an escape. A country where I could see and make fun with children every hour of the day, and without any privacy, save from bad idea's

Life puts me in the hands of my young "boss"

If you remember that I don't speak Vietnamese, and Em no English. Did you ever ask yourself what language we do use. Why is it so hard for me to communicate with this keyboard, even if I did improve my English... If I can see and "talk" to people, I don't have these problems.And why do you think it toke me something to get Em wanting to learn English. That started to grow as he got a present from the other side of the world, and he wants to understand.

Em showed me some parts of our language I didn't know about and I am so glad that I had Loverboy at that moment, or I might have run. The decision is made, I will stay, or work at my country, to help him out

Members of this board do have the address (send him a present), others have his personal telephonenumber. They have his picture and can contact his dad.I am not hiding him and not going to hide him. Making him and me visible to all, I guess is an even better protection for him then any androcur or zoladex can ever be. In about two years I guess his English will be on a level that he starts to contact people. Q8 HCM will never be big enough for this little fellow. He will need the world, and contacts with some of the nicest members of this board would be a great help. And don't tell me that I am picking the wrong members, you just might blame yourself to the board in a hard way.

And we like to invite. You or others like to visit Vietnam, see it as it really is, understand an other life. You will be so welcome. You can check out for yourself if I keep him happy.

About the risks.... Em is not just one of those little boys. He is special. If any-one want to visit us and approach him with bad thoughts, it will be the adult who will get hurt.His eyes and his mind are pretty strong. And Em understands something more about money then any of the adult Vietnamese around him. He knows that it is just a handful of shit, and he has learned that a gift to one can hurt others. He knows what it means, that if you have more, your problems will grow as you always will need at least twice of what you have. If as a tourist, you don't understand how to deal with tip money, how you can hand somebody a real gift without hurting his friends and so on, just hand him your wallet and watch, your money and you will be save.

Phuong and Re can be very good guides to any place you want to go. But most important, they are normally no Vietnamese guides, they are special in the way that you can trust them. They want to see you happy, and they don't cheat on you.

Segment Removed

Kristoff, I needed to show that piece of shit, one way or the other. Many times you can still feel him smell him hear him, but more and more he will have to fade. He lost. You didn't answer one question directly, but I guess you agree (if not tell me) I showed enough to prove that I at least know the meaning of POS.

Please stay patient my friend.

Segment Removed

loveUall (and that is real)

Jean

nb very special for me; Writing this posting, Phuong called me. He know what happened to me as a kid, and he understands that tomorrow I am going to visit that place with a friend. He asked me to call him from there.