OneBallBoi (imported) wrote: Fri May 01, 2009 4:42 pm . I am to the point where I believe it would have been better if I had never been born. There is not enough years left in my life to improve my self esteem and answer the acceptance of my sexuality. ...........
Dear OneBallBoi:
The nice things about "beliefs" is that by definition they are not TRUTHS.
Without factual foundation we have beliefs. We believe something is true, or false, but we can not present any supporting evidence to confirm.
THUS, you can accept that it is not necessarily true that it would have been better if you had never been born.
And you do not need "years" to improve or accept. You only need one minute, and one minute after that, and one minute after that.
Change comes within.
In the darkness look at your "me", "myself", and "I".
Really "look" at yourself and who you have been, who you are now, and what you want to be at some point in the future.
Then In a mirror look into your eyes and see your "me", "myself", and "I".
Tell yourself that "I" and going to change "me" for the benefit of "myself".
You control your destiny.
Nothing I or anyone else can say in print, or verbally can change anything for you. There is no drug, no magic potion, no ointment.
A million people can be cheering you on to improvement, change for the better, but if you do not pick up one foot at a time and move it forward change won't happen.
Most people want and expect things to get all better with the snap of the fingers. This doesn't happen.
Change comes one step at a time. You don't get from where you are to the other side of the planet with one giant step. It takes many many smaller steps. You won't really notice that by controlling your thoughts, directing your thoughts, thinking only of positive, not negative things, you will one day suddenly realize that it didn't take years for you to gain self esteem and either accept your sexuality, or not give a damn about your sexuality.
You can do it. No one else can do it for you. Unfortunately doing this is about as hard as loosing weight or stopping smoking. We become addicted to our personal pain and suffering. No quick fix.
Carry a smooth pebble in your pocket. Each time a self defeating or negative thought enters your mind, squeeze that rock, your rock of gibralter, and take control and think "I" and not going to let "me" defeat "myself".
"I" am in control and I will focus on what I want to do, what I can do, and what I will do is to take one step at a time and step after step after step I will put the past behind me and move out of the kind of life I do not want and into the kind of life that I do want. And be patient.
