I figured I'd give you a shout out since I haven't posted on here very much in a while. Was busy with finishing grad school, moving halfway across the world to a country where I don't really speak the language, and settling in at work; I've only now gotten to updating my profile information and contacting people. And of course there's the reminder looking at it...geez...I'm really 30 and starting to get gray hairs.
The last you heard from me about two and a half years ago, I was still working a few things out. I had this muddled mix of wanting to become a eunuch combined with working out what my sexual orientation really was. I decided to stay away from here while exploring my gay side...and having (safe) fun while doing so.
It's amazing how much happier and more confident I am now that I "own" that aspect of my life.I quickly figured out that I was this huge bottom and that I didn't like to use my penis during sex or even have it touched very much. But at the same time I really like being a guy. I began to cook and eat better, exercise less (but more intensely), and everyone I know has commented on how much better off and happier I've been, comfortable in my own skin for once.
Well...almost. In direct proportion to the increase in my comfort with myself, I've had a decrease in my love for my genitals. And it's not like I liked them very much to begin with. The only thing I like about them is the testosterone. If anything, I've become more convinced over time that they need to be gone, and this doesn't come and go but it's pretty constant and intense. I sit on them by mistake while getting on a bike. Ouch. I curse their existence when they bounce between my legs as I walk down the street. And don't get me started on hitting the front of the toilet seat when I sit. LOL
So yeah, the upshot of all of this is that I'm still interested in getting nullo'd, possibly within the next few years. I'm exploring my options about how to do this in a safe, reasonable manner, not rushing into things, and I'd definitely take testosterone after the surgery. Yeah, I know I'm pretty weird, but you all probably knew this already too. And this is a case where NOT rushing into things, so far, has been very helpful.
Tschuess!