And I have, believe me.
WHY do people want this shit?!
This Christmas season, my old MP3 player (a 1 gig, flash memory, used a AAA battery) that I paid $179 for when they first came out bit the big one. Actually, it bit a brick wall when I threw it. Piece of shit. No one makes an MP3 player with a 1 thick titanium alloy body and a diamond window for the LCD panel. I cant believe it exploded into that many pieces. It was worse than the last phone that crossed me. Ive since bought 6 and theyve all gone back. Worthless junk. Im going back to cassettes and CDs. Maybe even LPs. (Ill ban anyone who asks what an LP is, too!)
Speaking of phones Godson 2 has a phone that does everything except provide oral sex. It can do the Internet, chat, text, play video, take pictures (which look like 1973 quality 110 film when printed), and more. Its got a keyboard and an SD card slot. The ONE thing it cannot do (well, other than sex) is make a PHONE CALL! I cant understand a word he says on that thing. I miss the old rotary dial phone. It worked when the power was out, and it was clear and loud. I cant count how many new phones Ive had here at the house since rotary went out. They don't hold up well to abuse.
Next is the HD TV Grandpa bought over the digital panic. Dont look at me. I dont watch TV. Theres nothing on that I want to watch. When I was a kid, I got my ass ripped out over TV. I soon learned to hate it. Now, who does he expect to set it up? You got it and I wont do it. I told him to call Geek Squad. You bought it, you set it up. Not my problem. My old TV had 2 knobs for channels and no remote. I miss it. I think my old BW 21 set is still up in the attic, really it was clear and sharp and didnt give me headaches watching it. I refuse to study a 200-page manual in 12 languages to set up a new TV.
Then theres the connections and remotes. Godson has like 6 remotes for their entertainment system. You have to know the sequence of remotes to use and buttons to push to get the things to work. When I have to have 2 pages of directions to get a DVD to play, piss on it. I dont want to see it that bad. I miss videotape. You shoved it in and pushed PLAY. End of story; watch your movie.
Which brings us to formats. We were all enamored with VHS. Then came DVDs. VHS was declared dead. Get your movies on DVD now. Buy a player. Now DVD is on the way out, now that the HD / Blue Ray war is over. I refuse. I will not buy into yet another format change. I was pissed when movie film went out. I miss the old 8mm with sound and the clicky projectors.
Word processors were fine, too, speaking of clicky. The first keyboards clicked. I liked those. You had to beat on them to get them to work. I hate these feather-touch keyboards. Touch one key and youve got a thousand Ss going across the screen. I wish my old Royal manual typewriter still worked. Id use it if it did. It got me through college. In all honesty, I was able to adapt to MS Word or Corel. Then the blasphemy of Office Vista -or whatever the f*ck it is, with its .docx format- came out and no one could open anything anymore. Maybe Ill wash up that old Royal and grease it.
Maybe Ill mail a letter, with a stamp. Ah, the joys.
Then, of course, theres video games. I remember Pong. The government should have stepped in and stopped it right there. Enough was enough. I knew when I saw Mario that things were getting out of hand. PSPs, Wiis, PlayStation 23 or whatever theyre up to now geeesh I refuse to buy any of it. Its always wrong, never fails. Salesboys do it on purpose; you say X-Box 360, they give you a PlayStation 84 game, so you have to come back pissed. I know they do.
This Christmas, the gifts are simple: coal, or underwear. They can take their pick.
Dad is done with technology.
(JUst joking Paolo, please don't BAN me) 