New Chemical Castration Journal

[Nathan475 (imported)]

Hi everyone, I wasn't going to post another journal and then I reconcidered and chose to do a new one. Follow the link below where you can download a pdf file. You will need adobe acrobat reader, if you don't have it look up adobe online and download the free version of it.

The file sharing site I'm using doesn't allow me to edit the file from their server so I'll have to replace it each time I ad journal entries to it. For that reason and to make it easier on myself I'm going to update my journal about once a week. In order to find the updated journal just look for my latest post regarding my castration journal and you will find a new link to click on.

Regarding my medication dosages, I started on December 1st on 50mg per day and then I decided to up that to 100 mg per day along with 20 mg of Tamoxifen. I've included a detailed list of daily dosage entries so I have an exact record of what I've taken. It's impossible to say how long I'll be on the medication but for right now I'm thinking at least 2 months. The first 30 will just be a process of getting rid of the estrogen and the testosterone in my body. The second month will be my test drive phase which could last for several months but no longer than 4 if I find that I like the way I feel. I'm curious to find out how I'll feel and how my body will adjust to it.

A few months back I went on 150 mg of androcur and 20 mg of tamoxifen only to stop 6 days into for personal reasons. Even for that short duration I still felt the effects of reduced testosterone about a week after I stopped. It took about a month or so for things to go back to normal. Circumstances have changed a bit since then and I plan on going all the way with it this time. I'm either going to be castrated at a later date, go on a long term plan to reduce my libido, or I'll go back to the way I was. At least this way I'll know before I do anything that I can't reverse.

Best regards,

Nate

http://www.keepandshare.com/doc/view.php?id=950734&da=y

[Milkman (imported)]

very informative. thanks. Will you go ahead with surgical castration ?

[Nathan475 (imported)]

very informative. thanks. Will you go ahead with surgical castration ?

It's too early to tell yet, I should have a better idea by Christmas because by then my T level should be at castrate levels. Once I get there I'll decide if I want to continue and if I do I'll stay on it for few more months and then wean myself off of it until I go back to normal. I've tried a single shot of depo provera before about 6 years ago and I liked the way it made me feel for the couple of weeks that my sex drive was at its lowest. So what I might do is go back on that at what ever dosage I feel the best at until I can work out the rest of it. I'm married so any changes I make my wife has to adjust to as well. I plan on staying sexually active in regards to pleasing her in what ever way I can which includes pumps, strap ons, and viagra. We only do it 3-4 times a month and she prefers oral over intercourse and I know I'll be fine in that department. I've given it a lot of thought and if I decide to be castrated I want my scrotum removed as well and I want my penis to be as small as possible which is why I'm not very enthusiastic about pumps and viagra. I can be what ever size she wants me to be with a strap on so I'm hoping that she will get used to such a thing.

When I was on depo provera my penis stayed extremely small for several weeks. It never seemed to get over an inch unless it was being heavily stimulated into a weak erection during the 2 weeks that I peaked on the drug. Most of the time my glands would be flush with the surface of my skin or my penis would turn itself inside out. I liked the way it looked and felt and if I do get cut that's the way I want my penis to stay. All I need is enough to tug on so I can pee out through my zipper.

That's the long anwer, the short one is yes I will, but only if I like the way having no T makes me feel.

[vesal_mas (imported)]

Tx for your diary.

I'm looking forward to see your experiences.

I also had test drives on androcur, so I can imagine what you're going through.

I hope you get what you want, but without harming yourself.

Take care !

Vesal.

[Nathan475 (imported)]

Tx for your diary.

I'm looking forward to see your experiences.

I also had test drives on androcur, so I can imagine what you're going through.

I hope you get what you want, but without harming yourself.

Take care !

Vesal.

Thank you for the kind words. I think I'll be fine at this dosage level. 150 mg per day was too much for me because it made me feel overly lethargic. So far 100 mg has caused no unwanted side effects. Hopefully by the end of next week I'll start feeling some changes.

Nate

[kennath7 (imported)]

Thanks for your journal

I think it is important to have a mixture of our experiences out there

That way one seeking castration can get an idea of what test drive is like

And kinda what to expect

Good luck

[nutme248 (imported)]

It's too early to tell yet, I should have a better idea by Christmas because by then my T level should be at castrate levels. Once I get there I'll decide if I want to continue and if I do I'll stay on it for few more months and then wean myself off of it until I go back to normal. I've tried a single shot of depo provera before about 6 years ago and I liked the way it made me feel for the couple of weeks that my sex drive was at its lowest. So what I might do is go back on that at what ever dosage I feel the best at until I can work out the rest of it. I'm married so any changes I make my wife has to adjust to as well. I plan on staying sexually active in regards to pleasing her in what ever way I can which includes pumps, strap ons, and viagra. We only do it 3-4 times a month and she prefers oral over intercourse and I know I'll be fine in that department. I've given it a lot of thought and if I decide to be castrated I want my scrotum removed as well and I want my penis to be as small as possible which is why I'm not very enthusiastic about pumps and viagra. I can be what ever size she wants me to be with a strap on so I'm hoping that she will get used to such a thing.

When I was on depo provera my penis stayed extremely small for several weeks. It never seemed to get over an inch unless it was being heavily stimulated into a weak erection during the 2 weeks that I peaked on the drug. Most of the time my glands would be flush with the surface of my skin or my penis would turn itself inside out. I liked the way it looked and felt and if I do get cut that's the way I want my penis to stay. All I need is enough to tug on so I can pee out through my zipper.

That's the long anwer, the short one is yes I will, but only if I like the way having no T makes me feel.

Hi Nathan,

Your experiences are interesting!

I guess the only part I don't understand is why you are going for chemical and eventual surgical castration if you will then use a strap-on after? Maybe I have missed something however I don't seem to understand your reasons for the chemical test-drive and eventual surgical castration.

Thanks,

Dave in Michigan

[mrt (imported)]

Are you being up front with your wife on what your planning to do? And are you working with your doctor to make sure you maintain good liver function etc? I'm not trying to be a nag but I think in the first case if your not telling her this your making changes that will affect her. Does she for example have any ideas about having bio kids that this would change?

As to you plans for maintaining a sexual relationship with your wife. I think this is very laudable but motivation is a keen part of this. I was married (Still am) with low levels and she was very discouraged with my response to her sexual needs. Most of the time I came up with an excuse not to comply. Yes, we used the equipment to act as a stand in for my non functioning parts and thats ok but you have to have the will to do it often enough to make her happy and will without hormones is well.... really unlikely in my experience. Think angry asexual old women in menopause and you have the right idea.

I really strongly suggest you tell your doctor what your doing. Assuming you find someone to do this surgery they will certainly notice during your physical anyway. And trust me doctors have seen and heard it all. At LEAST be safe and have some labs done while your doing this so you don't blow out your liver or anything.

be safe! & StrapON!

[Nathan475 (imported)]

Are you being up front with your wife on what your planning to do? And are you working with your doctor to make sure you maintain good liver function etc? I'm not trying to be a nag but I think in the first case if your not telling her this your making changes that will affect her. Does she for example have any ideas about having bio kids that this would change?

As to you plans for maintaining a sexual relationship with your wife. I think this is very laudable but motivation is a keen part of this. I was married (Still am) with low levels and she was very discouraged with my response to her sexual needs. Most of the time I came up with an excuse not to comply. Yes, we used the equipment to act as a stand in for my non functioning parts and thats ok but you have to have the will to do it often enough to make her happy and will without hormones is well.... really unlikely in my experience. Think angry asexual old women in menopause and you have the right idea.

I really strongly suggest you tell your doctor what your doing. Assuming you find someone to do this surgery they will certainly notice during your physical anyway. And trust me doctors have seen and heard it all. At LEAST be safe and have some labs done while your doing this so you don't blow out your liver or anything.

be safe! & StrapON!

Hi, she knows what's going on and we already have a child and don't want anymore. As far as getting a doctor involved right now is a bad time because of the lack of excessable healthcare. I had a few spinal surgeries that prevents me from purchasing healthcare though anything but a business, and the business health insurance cost our more than our current morgage payment. I don't see this problem going away for at least a couple of more years which leaves a lot of questions unanswered. I'll involve a doctor at some point if needed but right now isn't the right time due to the circumstances.

The chance of blowing my liver out on 100 mg of androcur is close to zero. I'm not planning on being on it long term so I don't see any real harm being done. This is of course just a test drive and everything I've thought and said so far is speculation until I've felt the effects and have made some important decisions. I'm just taking things day by day at the moment and that's pretty much where I feel I need to be. My dose will be kept as low as possible and I'll discontinue use if I have problems.

Regarding staying sexually active, I've thought about what you mentioned regarding yourself and all I can say is that I have to cross that bridge when I come to it and see how it goes.

[Nathan475 (imported)]

Hi Nathan,

Your experiences are interesting!

I guess the only part I don't understand is why you are going for chemical and eventual surgical castration if you will then use a strap-on after? Maybe I have missed something however I don't seem to understand your reasons for the chemical test-drive and eventual surgical castration.

Thanks,

Dave in Michigan

Dave, my reason is a very high libido that I have problems dealing with along with a desire to be castrated. Sometimes we think we know what we need for ourselves until we find out otherwise, that's why I'm taking a test drive first. The strap on idea is only for her pleasure and not mine. I would rather give up sex after castration but that's not fair to her, so I have to what's best for both of us. There's more to sex than intercourse and right now that's a small part of our sex life. We usually have intercourse about once a month and the other 2 or 3 times that we do have sex we do oral anyway. At my present sex drive level we could do it 3-4 times a day but her drive is much lower than mine. This is getting complex and personal so I'm going to stop here but keep in mind that we do more cuddling than anything and that's not going to change. In fact, it migh get better because I won't be running off to masterbate several times a day which has always been a problem between us.