aLie2Live (imported) wrote: Fri Nov 28, 2008 10:11 am
I really don't appreciate being called a troll. I came here to figure out what was going to happen as the doctor told me very little about side effects, almost none that I've seen on this site.
Unfortunately, when you post like this to a public forum, you get all the replies....some good, some bad, some indifferent...it's one reason why i tend not to get too personal when posting to the forums, though admittedly, there have been some slips in that, and the replies haven't always been complimentary (i'm not referring to this forum specifically, but not excluding it either)...just remember the old saying....opinions are like assholes, everybody's got one.
emasculateme (imported) wrote: Sat Nov 29, 2008 3:19 am
...just remember the old saying....opinions are like assholes, everybody's got one.
Yes, and some work better than others, but when they don't work at all, they have to have surgical intervention... but there is only one person in control of exactly when to cut it out...
i assume the testicles were removed thru the scrotum
i have heard tales from my doctor that swelling in the cut off vas deferans causes a full feeling in the seminal vesicles
this stimulates erections and a desire for sex
it will pass as the healing takes place
I am on hormone replacement for my bones..not very much...if i forget to take it for a day ...the next day i am always feeling i want sex..if i dont miss a day i dont see any change in my low desire.
To answer and earlier question; I did not want to be castrated at all. Even though I am a non-op (besides plastic surgeries) m-f transsexual, that part of my anatomy was not the driving force making me unhappy with my overall appearance and lifestyle. I've been in therapy for years, have enough references to get full on SRS if I wanted it but do not. I actually really enjoyed having sex with my penis and the thought of it not working anymore kinda scares me as that was one of the few things in life that I actually enjoyed besides my work.
I was advised when I began taking hormones (about 10 yrs ago now) that for risk reduction many m-f transsexual will have a bi-lateral orchiectomy performed so that they may reduce the high levels of T-blockers and estrogen taken twice or three times daily.
The problem for me was that somehow my body over years of taking these drugs (I can only speculate here) adapted and developed a tolerance to them so over the last 5 yrs my hormone / anti-hormone mix slowly quadrupled to a very dangerous daily dose.
Two years ago my endocrynologist looking at my labs and noticing still a high T-level and the high dose of medication told me I need to seriously think about getting the procedure as the drugs carry very high risks normally and at my level disaster was bound to happen eventually. This terrified me and I debated it non-stop in my head for the next two years. A few months ago more labs showed another increase in T-levels (this is very disturbing if you look and live as a woman because you fear your not going to pass in public anymore if your body starts reverting the changes caused by the drugs in the first place).
So to make this long story somewhat short, I went to my hospital, saw my primary docter and asked for a referall to urology, there they did a consult with me ( the first surgeon being very rude and telling me "you choose to be this way so deal with it" and "we only perform serious surguries here like for testicular cancer, we dont cut off stuff just cause people want it") this despite me calming explaining that I was referred here by a docter and I was not doing this to be "a better transsexual" as he had put it, but so that, under medical urging could get off the high dose drugs. He said the best he could do would be ask the other surgeons in the group and see if someone was WILLING to do it. I left the hospital visibly shaken. Here I was, asking for help with valid medical reasons and backed by two other docters, and leaving with no help and feeling degraded and humiliated by this surgeons enormous ego.
Apparently word of my visit gained some attention. Athough that didnt really supprise me because the other docters in the group were repeatadly making an obvious attempt to catch a look at the "transsexual in the waiting room" before this disasterous consult even took place.
I was called a week later by that groups supervisor and he appologiesed for how I was treated and asked if I would be willing to come in and meet with another surgeon for another consult at no cost to me as this had clearly been a display of discrimination given all the medical records and doctors who had sent me there for help. A month later I was scheduled for surgery and its now been about a week and a half since the procedure.
and to follow up with my issue it does seem to be resolving itself (much to my horror). A few days ago I was fooling around with a girl and she said she wanted to see the stiches and stuff so I showed her and apparently this turned her on and she told me to masterbate for her. 45 minutes later and I'm still not able to cum. I'm very horny (especially given the scenereo) and my dick is barely hard at all despite my endevors. I knew it wasnt going to happen and decided to stop must to my embarrasement and frustration. Last night again I was extrememly horny and decided to masterbate laying in bed before I felll asleep (something else I used to look forward to immensely) Four....thats right four hours later I finally was able to orgasim. Afterwards I found myself in a state of deep depression not to mention weak and tired (and quite mad at myself for allowing this to go on that long since I had to work the next day). Like the true addict I am I tried again today but after it didnt happen for 2 hrs I quit. This is what I meant by it messing up my life for the past week. Something that used to take me 15 minutes and was a stress releif now takes literally hours and has become stress producing and not really worth the lost time or effort.
I am really depressed about this right now. Hopefully time and my already horrible memory will erase what I once knew and enjoyed. I've dealt with severe depression all my life so I'm not suicidal or anything. Although if something beyond my control could end me, I wouldnt be complaining at this point.
I am confused. You stated that you hated the sex drive... but now you are complaining that it is going away. There are many conflicts in these scenarios. Can you do all of us a favor? Is there anyway you can post a pic of your op-site (sutures) so we can see the area to confirm that you had this done so we can all take you seriously...
Sorry, I am not trying to be an ass but there ARE conflicts in your posts and I am not the only one that probably sees that... If you are insulted by this, I apologize.
aLie2Live (imported) wrote: Sat Nov 29, 2008 8:55 pm
and to follow up with my issue it does seem to be resolving itself (much to my horror). A few days ago I was fooling around with a girl and she said she wanted to see the stiches and stuff so I showed her and apparently this turned her on and she told me to masterbate for her. 45 minutes later and I'm still not able to cum. I'm very horny (especially given the scenereo) and my dick is barely hard at all despite my endevors. I knew it wasnt going to happen and decided to stop must to my embarrasement and frustration. Last night again I was extrememly horny and decided to masterbate laying in bed before I felll asleep (something else I used to look forward to immensely) Four....thats right four hours later I finally was able to orgasim. Afterwards I found myself in a state of deep depression not to mention weak and tired (and quite mad at myself for allowing this to go on that long since I had to work the next day). Like the true addict I am I tried again today but after it didnt happen for 2 hrs I quit. This is what I meant by it messing up my life for the past week. Something that used to take me 15 minutes and was a stress releif now takes literally hours and has become stress producing and not really worth the lost time or effort.
I am really depressed about this right now. Hopefully time and my already horrible memory will erase what I once knew and enjoyed. I've dealt with severe depression all my life so I'm not suicidal or anything. Although if something beyond my control could end me, I wouldnt be complaining at this point.
I'll just comment that the "mix" of hormones is crucial to making a person capable of having sex and orgasm. I know of some natal men who have no testes that have gone on Testosterone and spiked high estrogen levels. To try to fix that they took massive amounts of estrogen blockers that reduced the E2 to near zero and could not orgasm. I suppose there is some sort of thing similar to this going on with you. Ask your doctor to do you labs and check everything that he/she can. Look for a typical female profile and adjust what you need to, to get you to that point. THEN try to reach orgasm.
As to your penis... Its very unlikely to work (get errect) on female HRT. You don't need it to get erect to reach orgasm unless your obsessed with penetrating your partner. If you "need" that look into a Vacuum erection device, strap on or a penile sheath.
I'm finding this thread very interesting. I had myself castrated to eliminate my sex drive and it seems to have worked. I have had several erotic dreams in the past few weeks and woke up to find an erection, but I have had little or no daytime interest in sex since the operation.
I'd guess that some psychological effects and the sudden change in hormone levels had a lot to do with your problems. I would counsel patience.
