MtF-Beware of Cutters

[ramses (imported)]

I apologise if this has already been posted here since the story is a few years old. I thought some would find it interesting.

http://www.fultonsun.com/articles/2004/ ... gers01.txt

http://www.fultonsun.com/articles/2004/ ... gers02.txt

Posted: Sunday, Jan 25, 2004

A Rogers victim speaks out By KIMBERLY LONG

(Editor's Advisory: This article is graphic in nature and contains detailed information regarding human sexuality and illegal surgical procedures.)

Viewed by some as monstrous, Fulton resident and federal inmate Jack Wayne Rogers is seen as "merciful" in the eyes of Madison A. - a victim of Rogers' most recent charges.

Officials have yet to reveal the name of the victim in charges against Rogers.

However, Madison, a southwest Missouri resident, recently told The Fulton Sun that she is the person mentioned in the state's affidavit and that her encounter with Rogers involved the illegal nullification surgery to remove her genitalia.

Madison is a transgendered female. Her birth name was Michael. In February 2003 her name was legally changed.

Rogers is the prime suspect in the disappearance and possible murder of Branson Kayne Perry, who disappeared two years ago from his Skidmore home in northwest Missouri. He is currently being held in Morgan County Jail on 11 federal counts of child pornography and obscenity.

Most recently, he has been charged with practicing medicine without a license and first-degree assault.

Despite the slue of suspicions and charges, Madison does not regret her interaction with Rogers.

"I know what the investigators said about Rogers possibly being a serial killer is true, but it still doesn't erase how kind he was to me," she said.

In an exclusive interview, Madison shares her story with The Fulton Sun.

(Editor's Note: Throughout different portions of this article, the usage of he, she and Michael all pertain to Madison. Part 1 appears below, as it also did in our newspaper edition. Part 2 of the story, which appears only online, is linked at the end of this page. Both parts contain graphic descriptions.)

Part 1 - Michael's story

In high school, Michael was like most guys his age. He dated girls, loved muscle cars and, later in his mid 20s, married his best friend.

However, unbeknownst even to those close to him, Michael "despised" his gender. He was not homosexual, he simply disliked being male.

That need to transform into a female eventually would lead him to seek the services of Jack Wayne Rogers.

According to Michael, Rogers is known in the eunuch culture as a cutter - one who performs surgery on those (particularly males) wishing to have their sex organs removed.

Having solicited Rogers' services, Michael, now 28, lives life as a woman.

The decision to change

Though Michael had questioned his gender since early childhood, he married his hometown girlfriend at age 23.

Despite how "amazing" his wife was, Michael said he still felt unfulfilled. The facade he was living was becoming unbearable.

"Life for me was picture perfect. We had a house that I had built, we both drove nice cars, but because of my gender confusion, I was unhappy inside," Madison recalled.

Struggles with his gender would lead to bouts with depression, several attempts at suicide and even his decision to try and dismember himself.

Eliminating his "sexuality from the equation" was the only solution that Michael felt would end his psychological battle.

"The truth hit me so hard. No matter what, something had to change," Madison said.

Michael meets Jack

The two became acquainted in spring 2002 via a eunuch chatroom on the Internet. It would take six months for them to schedule the surgery, which court affidavits indicate was performed in October 2002 in a Columbia motel room.

According to Madison, finding a cutter - whose services are illegal - was not easy.

"I couldn't believe that I came in contact with him. If you go on the Internet saying you are looking for a cutter, no one will respond. It's like finding a needle in the haystack," she said.

Knowing Rogers' medical knowledge was limited to books and the experience he had gained from his other alleged surgeries scared Michael, but he had exhausted all legal avenues.

Though his counselors, psychiatrists, endocrinologist and psychologist opposed the surgery, Michael said his lack of parental, spousal and financial support made Rogers' offer even more enticing.

According to the office of Los Angeles urologist and plastic surgeon Dr. Gary Alter, a penectomy - the removal of the penis and the scrotum - can range between $15,000 or $20,000, even as high as $40,000 depending on the circumstances.

Rogers' fee was only $750.

Both "thrilled and grateful" that Rogers had agreed to perform the service, Michael chose the week of Oct. 20, 2002, for them to meet. There was only one stipulation, "No matter what happened, I had to leave his name out of it," Madison recalled.

The surgery

The procedure, which took Rogers seven hours and 20 minutes to perform, caused considerable blood loss and disfigurement. According to Madison, the urologist who later attended to her wounds referred to Rogers' bootleg handiwork as "butchering."

Two units of blood and a three-day hospital stay would be required for her recuperation.

During the surgery, she said, "I knew things weren't going right because four hours into the surgery, we were nowhere near done. I just kept bleeding and bleeding."

The xylocaine Rogers reportedly used did little to deaden the pain. Yet, regardless how excruciating it was, Madison said she never screamed out. The fear that someone would hear them and that Rogers would be forced to stop outweighed her suffering.

As the hours passed, Madison said Rogers' nervousness became more apparent. Throughout the procedure, he kept asking if she wanted to go to the hospital.

"In my mind I thought, as long as he got it off to where it could not be put back on, I would be fine," she said. Once the procedure was complete, she commended Rogers' bedside manner.

Her first thought was that she "felt free."

She never imagined that 10 months later her brush with Rogers would become the center of a criminal investigation. To her, no crime had been committed, because her agreement with Rogers was consensual.

The investigation

Rogers - who is in federal custody awaiting sentencing after pleading guilty on Nov. 12 to child pornography and obscenity offenses - was charged in December at the Morgan County Jail in Versailles with the Class A felony, first-degree assault, and the Class C felony, practicing medicine without a license.

The new charges stem from the state's investigation into Rogers' activities related to gender nullification. During the course of that investigation, evidence of Rogers' involvement with Madison was uncovered.

According to Madison, requests sent out to hospitals statewide and e-mails shared between her and Jack may have helped them locate her.

"There were several times after the procedure that Jack would e-mail me with words of encouragement or sermons he had written," she recalled.

To Madison, "he was the greatest thing" to happen in her life. And because "he had went out on a limb" for her, she would be "eternally grateful to him."

But when the e-mails suddenly stopped for no reason and the telephone number she used to call Rogers' office would continuously ring with no answer, she knew something was wrong.

What "blew her away" were the allegations the investigators were making against Rogers. It was not until investigators showed her pictures of Rogers attempting to ingest parts of a male genitalia, that she unreservedly began to share her story.

According to Madison, Rogers discarded all of the evidence after her surgery, except for the severed penis, which he put in a plastic bag and placed inside the refrigerator - where it stayed until Rogers left the motel.

The thoughts of what Rogers did with her parts and that he may have enjoyed the pain she had suffered, sickened Madison, she said.

Looking back, Madison feels blessed. Were it not for her decision to take a companion along with her during her encounter with Rogers, she now questions if Rogers would have done her harm - especially since court affidavits suggest that Rogers may have murdered a number of individuals and eaten their remains.

Should Madison have to testify against Rogers, she said, "I know I will feel extremely uncomfortable being in front of him, but I have peace knowing that all that is required of me is to tell the truth."

Rogers' newest charges will be heard in Boone County. The date has yet to be announced. A special prosecutor - Kevin Zoellner - has been appointed to the case.

Indicted by a Boone County grand jury earlier in December, Rogers will face his new felony charges for illegally practicing medicine and first-degree assault against Madison.

Rogers still awaits sentencing in the Western District Court in Jefferson City for his federal charges.

* * *

Part 2

Madison's story: The trials of a transgender-By KIMBERLY LONG

Since her penectomy, performed 14 months ago, Madison A. finds life as a transgendered female challenging.

Her desire to be female has not changed, but the mental, emotional and physical burdens of not being "whole" weigh heavy on her mind, as does her future.

Two years ago, Madison was a man whose decision to have a sex change would nearly cause him to lose his mind, his family and his life. His name then was Michael.

As if that sacrifice was not enough, his lack of finances to secure an appropriate gender reassignment would lead him into the hands of an illegal cutter -- Fulton resident and federal inmate Jack Wayne Rogers -- whose butchering and lack of knowledge would leave Michael with no sexual capabilities, meaning physically, she is neither male nor female.

"It's a day-to-day struggle. Some days it's social (issues), other days it's medical or personal problems that challenge me," Madison said. Though she does not blame Rogers for her instabilities, she does however, resent his malicious motives.

Rogers currently is in the Morgan County Jail, awaiting sentencing for his federal charges of child pornography and obscenity. New charges were brought against him in early December for the illegal service he provided Madison.

His new charges -- practicing medicine without a license and first-degree assault -- have yet to be heard in court.

According to state affidavits, Rogers admitted to more than one person his desire to perform gender nullifications and later consume the castrated remains.

Knowing this, plus dealing with the physiological and physical scars from the surgery, sometimes is more than Madison can handle.

"I knew going into it, it was going to be a rough road. Now, I have to believe it will be fixed," she said.

According to Madison, Rogers' surgery has left her with sexual inabilities and several scarred tissues that now will require skin grafting to repair.

"Even if I'm forced to live a celibate life, it's important to me that I get the surgery to make me whole," she said.

Being female is something Madison has longed for her entire life. Her decision to have the surgery was not spontaneous.

From childhood to her mid-teens, Madison behaved as a male, but privately struggled with the sensations of wanting to be female.

"I remember as a kid bathing, wondering why it (penis) was there," she said. "Even then, it didn't feel right."

Afraid to share these feelings for fear of rejection by her family, Madison continued her front until age 24 when the pressures of living a facade became unbearable. At this point, she already had attempted marriage and suicide -- both of which were unsuccessful.

"I loved my wife, but something just wasn't right," Madison said. "I didn't want our marriage to fall apart; I wanted to be the man that would make her happy. But, I couldn't. I knew if I was going to go through with this we couldn't stay married."

Their marriage was resolved in November 2002 -- one month after her surgery.

Even after Rogers' procedure, Madison still was confused. She needed answers to questions she did not understand.

During this time, she became estranged from family members and her attempts at suicide increased. Her efforts to seek comfort and strength in her religion also failed.

Once the congregation found out her intentions, they excluded her.

"Most everyone was trying to turn it into a moral issue ... all I needed was more compassion," she said. Looking back, this may have been what made Rogers' service more enticing. At least he understood, she said.

It would take nine months after her surgery before Madison would find hope.

By confiding in medical professionals, she was finally diagnosed as "gender disoriented" and with hyper-pituitarism.

These conditions -- combined with her body's low levels of testosterone and inability to produce hormones -- can create an imbalance that can hinder a male's ability to become "masculinized" and have strong sexual relationships, she said.

"There are people who are born in the middle. It's like a birth defect," she said. According to her prognosis, "There are men who have high pituitary glands that don't struggle with gender. But, in a high percentage of transgendered patients, their pituitary gland does not work."

Being able to justify her situation was essential to Madison. Even now, it is important to her that people respect her decision.

"I'm not one of those people who have some hidden agenda, I just was not satisfied with my gender," she said.

As a male, she dated females, with no homosexual tendencies. However, now that she is a transgender, she will date men.

"It's really a Catch 22. People are like you can't date a male because you are a born male. They think if I want to be in a relationship it has to be with a girl, which would make me a lesbian. But that's not the case," she explained. "I just wanted to be a woman."

Though Madison lacks the sexual organs to perform intercourse, the medication she takes to control her hormones, along with make-up and a feminine hairstyle and clothing, give her the appearance she desires.

Taking estrogen even has allowed for the growth of her breasts.

"I'm comfortable with who I am and I like what I see," Madison said.

Asked how she plans to handle the criticism from those opposed to her decision, Madison replied, "I've asked God for healing, guidance and peace, because he has the big picture. I feel what I've done is understood. If He wanted to make me whole as a male, then he would have.

"As for those who can't get over it, well, people will always judge. But Jesus has a plan. He spoke very strongly against judging."

Madison believes her future is full of possibilities. She and her family have rectified their differences and those who know her even compliment her beauty and strength.

Now, she has plans, which include advancing her education, preferably in aeronautics, finding a "good Christian man" to marry and living her life as she has always wished -- as a woman.

[jemagirl (imported)]

There are so many sad things to say about that story I couldn't possibly know where to begin.

[ramses (imported)]

If you look at the links you can see pictures of Madison. She is BEAUTIFUL!! This article really makes you wonder what motivates any "cutter". If someone wants to cut you bad enough to risk going to prison over, what is his/her true motivation?

[JesusA (imported)]

Both Madison and Jack Wayne Rogers are featured in the slock documentary American Eunuchs (http://www.eunuch.org/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=5287). Madison comes across as very nice, though a bit confused. Rogers as the essence of sleaze.

[dancinggizmos (imported)]

Reminds me of a previous incident I heard of at one time.

These things can indeed be very touching even to the male with testosterone in the higer range and seeing a part as well as feeling what was not me.

People that are truly an SRS canidate tend to do quite well.

I have never had tendancies about this however even castration (Orchiectomoney) can be serious for a guy who is of only fantasy.

Some indeed find that it is something they really wanted and desired however I have heard negativity of it being just the opposite for others.

[twaddler (imported)]

I can't see going to a cutter for a penectomy if you really want some kind of penile-inversion vagina. That seems like something that would be well worth the cost to acquire from an experienced professional.

[dancinggizmos (imported)]

I can't see going to a cutter for a penectomy if you really want some kind of penile-inversion vagina. That seems like something that would be well worth the cost to acquire from an experienced professional.

My breif opinion of trying to stay safe:

Indeed, in fact some cutters were MD's or have had some degree of medical profession, I guess some like to do such things after retiring. Now as for the cutters who do not know what they are doing or are not as advanced this could be quite very scarey as well. The best option I would agree is to find a medical professional and most likley out of the US to assist a person, as the Physician is still in practice not yet retired and would have more sufficient medical tools. You have to be careful any way you take, however the best way would be with a medical professional, who knows what he or she is doing.

It can be very hard, and it is always well worth it to be careful as well as stay safe than find a cutter who has little or no knowledge on how to perform procedures as well as control the blood and avoid infection as well as prescribe the medications needed. I do not think a cutter should be recommended, as most do not have the proper training, and it can be a gamble as well as even more of a long road in some cases, they have been quite ugly I have heard.

It can be very hard to find a Physican sometimes, but they do exist and some are quite willing to help, this would be the way to go.

Just my opinion on impliminting on how to stay safe in some cases no medical advise or medical relationship intended.

[I Worship Women (imported)]

As we all know, the problem with a "cutter" is that you have no idea at all who or what this person really is, what their background really is, no idea if they are telling you the truth, you are dealing with a total unknown. It is far too risky to put your physical health, wellbeing, and even your life in the hands of an unknown like that.

A licensed practicing surgeon or urologist on the other hand has a background you can search, as a practicing physician you know much more who and what they are, you can find out about their background, and they will perform the surgery in a clean, sterile, medical environment where they are ready for any emergency or complication that might come up.

Castration is a surgical operation, a medical procedure. For those seeking castration at the hands of a cutter, I think you should ask yourself this question. If this was any other kind of surgery, your appendix taken out, hernia repaired, heart bi-pass, whatever, would you go to a cutter to have those surgeries? Hell no! you would go to a hospital and have it done by a competitant licensed surgeon. So why would you put your health and life at risk and go to a cutter to be castrated?

I think anyone who is really seriously considering getting castrated, they should consider their castration to be surgery like any other surgery they might have, and have it done by the best licensed practicing surgeon you can find to do it.

[Blaise (imported)]

As we all know, the problem with a "cutter" is that you have no idea at all who or what this person really is, what their background really is, no idea if they are telling you the truth, you are dealing with a total unknown. It is far too risky to put your physical health, wellbeing, and even your life in the hands of an unknown like that.

A licensed practicing surgeon or urologist on the other hand has a background you can search, as a practicing physician you know much more who and what they are, you can find out about their background, and they will perform the surgery in a clean, sterile, medical environment where they are ready for any emergency or complication that might come up.

Castration is a surgical operation, a medical procedure. For those seeking castration at the hands of a cutter, I think you should ask yourself this question. If this was any other kind of surgery, your appendix taken out, hernia repaired, heart bi-pass, whatever, would you go to a cutter to have those surgeries? Hell no! you would go to a hospital and have it done by a competitant licensed surgeon. So why would you put your health and life at risk and go to a cutter to be castrated?

I think anyone who is really seriously considering getting castrated, they should consider their castration to be surgery like any other surgery they might have, and have it done by the best licensed practicing surgeon you can find to do it.

Amen, this applies to any and all surgery.