Empire Under a New Sky

[bethCollins (imported)]

This is a proposal for a new story, I would like for you all to kick the tires a little and have a test drive or two since this may take considerable time.

As a few of you know I work for a programming company, actually I own 30 percent of it. I got with my other major partner and he said it was ok but to make sure my company did not give up any rights to a story and a game were working on.

Ive deleted the Empires name and changed the name of the characters, unfortuneately their faces will be the same or it will take me years to do this, that is if I do pictures and I think I should even if there posted somewhere else and a link to them with the story is available there.

Now to the plot,

Its almost going to be a book.

We can have it taking place somewhere in the South Pacific on an unchartered island and a few hundred or thousand citizens. Maybe pick out a few key families to write on. The technology age is Roman about 300 AD even thou its going on right this moment in our time frame of 2008, these guys have decided to live under a technology ban. Most of the upper class are very wealthy and own big businesses from America, Japan, China, and Europe. The elite of the elite! Slavery is legal on the island, of course castrations for less wealthy males might be a must or for the simplest crime.

One of there favorite forms of gambling are Pony Races, thats where two women or two guys pull a chariot and driver, to race against other Pony teams, its big business in the gambling circuit, even more than the gladiator sports which are legal. Crucifixtions or Guillotines are a sport in itsself and a way to get rid of certian unwanted people legally. There basically a bunch of sick or cruel people ruling the island, and a bunch that like to be abused living on the island, you can leave and go home at anytime, up until they sentence you to death.

We need a name for the story I would also like to hear from the mods before I start just to talk over if this story theme is ok and how to place the warning tags, I don't want this trashcaned if I do it. I'm assumming there is a way to do it in several parts and I welcome help. I myself would like to put chapters up when they are finished.

OK thats it, let me hear something.

sincerely,

Bethie

[Arab Nights (imported)]

Hi Bethie.

I would like to make suggestions in a couple of installments. First off, let me say that I am not a pretty boy PhD, so my opportunities sometimes come from beyond the beyond and I often can relate best with other expats. I love swapping war stories about working in places where personal hygiene is the wave of the future. Now, having said that, here are some general suggestions for Scene I.

It is the weekly flight from Paris. As you drop below cloudbase, the oven-baked brown earth comes into focus. At touchdown, the full reverse thrust and full brakes jerk you forward against the seatbe lt as mortar craters zip by out the window. The jet slows to almost a stop and weaves to the crude terminal. Finally it stops, nationals push out a stairway, and the doors open. It is like opening an oven door. The heat is wilting. You step out onto the stairway paltform. The terminal is pocked with bullet holes. Sweat wettens your forehead and armpits. As you walk to the terminal, there is a person holding a sign with your name on it. You walk to the person and introduce yourself. He obviously has contacts as he quickly gets your luggage and walks you through customs. As you walk out to your taxi, you watch the plane rotate and climb thru the heat waves. That is the last chance to leave until 7 days later, unless you want to chance the land trip thru the malerial swampts. And the propjylactic medicine against that will keep doctors from detecting the disease that will kill you.

Hope this will help

[Arab Nights (imported)]

So the suggested place has a built in barrier to getting out. An extreme Kuaii where the side ringed by impassable reefs is livable, the way out is thru swamps or by air. Or the tupuys of Venezuela (inspiration for Lost World) where it is really rare to find a passable route down even if you want to visit the jungle. Or New Guinea where the coastal areas you don't even want to think about, but you can survive at altitude up the mountains. Note - all swamps are full of dengue-carrying mosquitoes during the day and malaria mosquitoes at sunset.

Now the ride in. Pass a dry riverbed that is covered with smelly smoldering trash. A bloated dog's body lies untended beside the road. Sullen soldiers look out from sandbagged strongpoints on the way from the airport. The sky is ashen. People look at you as you drive by. Hookers try to wave you down.

There are countries where you never stop. Consider traffic signals to be of an advisory nature. Never, ever get in a position where three cars can trap your car. If you have to, slow down as you come up to a red light with stopped cars, but do not stop. Jump into the oncoming lane if necessary. I was taught that if stopped by a group with all males, you just don't know if they are robbers or terrorists. However, if there is a female in the group they are terrorists and they will kill you because you are white so you might as well use your vehicle to try to kill them. Aim for the lighter, back end of vehicles. Demolition derby rules! That was not my father's defensive driving.

I was on an airport run once and the driver was screaming down this street and some poor guy with his about 10yo son step into the street to jaywalk. Their head turned and saw us and they got this deer-in-the-headlight look. The drivers quickly swivled his head to look for an out, careened into a parking lot, arched thru it to the far entrance and back out on the street. Again, the golden rule, never stop.

[bethCollins (imported)]

Well everybody I've finished Chapter 1 or the prelog to the story. I've amazed myself on the unfolding. Mike and Lucy from work helped me a little. They had some really good twist to add and probably are going to support me in the finishing of the story. There are all kinds of possiblities for this. The first Chapter will be available as soon as spell-check and editing is finished.

EEK The website parsed my script when I uploaded it.

Love you all,

Bethie

[BossTamsin (imported)]

This unfortunately does seem to be an ongoing problem. However if you want, you can forward me a copy of the story, properly formatted, and I will substitute that for the one we have on file. TXT files are preferred.

[bethCollins (imported)]

IEunuch,

OK I thought I had done something wrong, I almost died when I saw it, I thought I took to much care in uploading it and did something stupid. I'll e-mail you a copy in txt tonight when I get home. I'll send it in a zip file.

sincerely,

Bethie

[Paolo]

Next time, upload plain texts.

This will avoid that problem.

No scripts, no dancing bullsh*t, no html, just plain text.

If I so much as see color in the text, it's trashed.

[bethCollins (imported)]

Paolo,

I used notepad and there was no color or html, everything appeared to be correct before I pressed submit. Then poof it parsed itself into individual sentences. Im thinking there must be a CR difference between website text and Mircoscoft Notepad thats the only thing I can come up with. Im try to e-mail a copy to IEunuch but I can't find his e-mail address on the site maybe he should e-mail me first at bethcollins@uksoft.zzn.com then I can return the zipfile to him and let him upload it. I still have the original form I put in the text box last night.

sincerely,

Bethie

[Paolo]

OK, not to make accusations, but...

What showed up here is the classic indication that that text was copy/pasted from another website, out of a browser window. It comes out on this end looking like it did exactly that way, every time that one does this.

Another thing that could have could have happened was this:

Every time you hit ENTER, regardless of what word-cruncher you used, a break is detected by the formatter here and you get a double line break on our end. Only hit ENTER when you want a double line break inserted. Let word wrap handle line breaks, as hitting ENTER does not work on a computer like it did on a typewriter.

Send the file to me at paolo@eunuch.org

I'll have a look at it and fwd it to IE.

[bethCollins (imported)]

Paolo,

Every time you hit ENTER, regardless of what word-cruncher you used, a break is detected by the formatter here and you get a double line break on our end. Only hit ENTER when you want a double line break inserted. Let word wrap handle line breaks, as hitting ENTER does not work on a computer like it did on a typewriter.

I'm now guessing this is what happened or something similair. Anyway no worry its original I made it yesterday, and I haven't or plan to post it anywhere else. Gee I can't type tonight. OK the zip should be on its way shortly unless I just have to copy and paste.

Bethie