Transitioning at work and in all of my life

[Danya (imported)]

Update on H -- Good News -- July3, 2022

We saw a medical oncologist, two days ago, to discuss chemotherapy options and to get a lot of our questions answered. My "live in the moment" daily goal failed me as we entered the doctor's office. I was in high-stress mode, in part because other doctors at the clinic had been giving mixed messages on treatment outcomes, none of which were what the oncologist told us.

She came right out and said H's cancer is curable! This is the goal because the cancer, amazingly for this aggressive small cell lung cancer, has not spread beyond the large (roughly 3 x 3 x 3 inch) tumor.

H starts the first cycle of chemo in two days. There will be four cycles all total; beginning with the second cycle he'll have radiation on the same days as chemo.

[Paolo]

This is fantastic news!

So glad to hear it.

[WheelyCurious]

I agree, fantastic news! Hope all goes well for H, or at least as well as can be hoped w/ chemo and radiation which I've always heard is a rough trip, though it is great if it works...

WheelyCurious

[Danya (imported)]

This is fantastic news!

So glad to hear it.

Yes, it's wonderful news! Thanks, Paolo.

I agree, fantastic news! Hope all goes well for H, or at least as well as can be hoped w/ chemo and radiation which I've always heard is a rough trip, though

it is great if it works...

WheelyCurious

We were made aware of how difficult chemoradiation therapy can be, although it's not as bad for every patient. It may well be for H, though, because of his age. He's already started on prescription medicine to reduce side effects. We'll see later this week how sick H gets from chemo. The oncologist explained that immunotherapy just doesn't work as well in small cell lung cancer treatment as the older chemotherapy. When I have the time and energy, I'll update this thread with the latest news. Thanks again for your thoughtful comments.

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A few days ago, H asked if I would be going with him to his chemo and radiation appointments. When he was first diagnosed with a possible lung tumor, I told him we were in this together and that this meant, among other things, I'd go to every appointment with him. I've kept my word. So to answer his question about going with him to chemo and radiation appointments I had no problem affirming that I would continue going every time with him.

[WheelyCurious]

Sounds about as good as one can hope...

It might also be worth looking into some of the 'non-prescription' medication options like Medi-pot as well as the prescription ones... Probably should run that idea past H's docs, but it is unlikely to be a problem... However, at least in the US, because of federal laws most docs won't mention the option (and aren't supposed to recommend it) unless asked...

I know that was what I experienced after my SCI, and have heard the same things from many others.

WheelyCurious

[Danya (imported)]

Sounds about as good as one can hope...

It might also be worth looking into some of the 'non-prescription' medication options like Medi-pot as well as the prescription ones... Probably should run that idea past H's docs, but it is unlikely to be a problem... However, at least in the US, because of federal laws most docs won't mention the option (and aren't supposed to recommend it) unless asked...

I know that was what I experienced after my SCI, and have heard the same things from many others.

WheelyCurious

Thanks for the info on Medi-pot, WheelyCurious, and letting me know the situation in the US, where H and I are located. We will mention it to H's doctors and see what response we get. I will post the response here.

[WheelyCurious]

It has been a while since I had reason to talk about it w/ my docs, mostly I mentioned it while I was in rehab and shortly after I got out (about 12 years ago) However the reaction was very consistent, more or less on the order of "I can't recommend it, but many of my patients say they use it and find it effective... Let me know how it works for you if you try it"

As I understand it, the only big caution flag is if you are on any meds that they caution you about not doing grapefruit... Apparently medipot causes the same issues, namely that it actually makes the meds absorb into your body better, so you end up with an effective excessive dose.

Aside from that it seems like pretty low risk.

WheelyCurious

[Danya (imported)]

It has been a while since I had reason to talk about it w/ my docs, mostly I mentioned it while I was in rehab and shortly after I got out (about 12 years ago) However the reaction was very consistent, more or less on the order of "I can't recommend it, but many of my patients say they use it and find it effective... Let me know how it works for you if you try it"

As I understand it, the only big caution flag is if you are on any meds that they caution you about not doing grapefruit... Apparently medipot causes the same issues, namely that it actually makes the meds absorb into your body better, so you end up with an effective excessive dose.

Aside from that it seems like pretty low risk.

WheelyCurious

Hi WheelyCurious,

I think what you are saying is that medipot is the same as medical (or medicinal) marijuana. If so, medical marijuana (medipot! yay!) is legal where I live.

Thanks again for your help.

[WheelyCurious]

Hi WheelyCurious,

I think what you are saying is that medipot is the same as medical (or medicinal) marijuana. If so, medical marijuana (medipot! yay!) is legal where I live.

Thanks again for your help.

Exactly... Medipot was the term used back when Marijuana was illegal, so everyone smoked pot instead... The basic idea was to distinguish use for medical reasons from those that were smoking it recreationally...

WheelyCurious

[Danya (imported)]

Shortly after I transitioned between male and female genders, I was the substitute organist one Sunday and my former very with-it church. I wore a dress that even today, 14 years later (a guesstimate), hangs in my closet. I also wore my favorite color nylons: off-black.

I was very pleased with the comments after the service but I didn’t agree with: “That took a lot of chutzpah.” I thanked the person who said this without adding that I never felt more comfortable in front of the congregation than I did that day. No chutzpah was needed.

About two years later I moved to Chicago. I’d always loved that city. It’s less frenetic than Manhattan which may explain why many people on the street are more friendly and helpful. I stayed in Chicagoland for two years and enjoyed every moment there.

On moving back to where I am currently, I thought I’d return to the with-it church I’d left. My first Sunday service started out very well and I was glad to see old friends. After the service, some of these friends, however, didn’t understand that you don’t say to a trans woman something like: “Hi, I’m glad you’re back. [OK so far] I remember you when you were Gus. [No, no, no, I was thinking. This isn’t right at all!] :-\

Besides, Gus was not my former male name.

Avoiding this remembrance of names1 past was not something I wanted to educate people about.

This is how H (husband) and I finally wound up at the larger, similarly with-it church of the same sometimes with-it denomination we’re at now. And only one close friend there ever knew the 'before' me and she was talking.

Our church recently got a new pipe organ. I’m hoping that I’ll get some practice time in.

1Apologies to Marcel Proust for the misappropriation of the mistranslation to English ("Remembrance of Things Past") of his sometimes referred to in French novel "La Recherche2.

2Wikipedia