Transitioning at work and in all of my life

[Mac (imported)]

Wonderful to hear. My church that accepted me in 2000 as a member despite knowing I'm transgender, ordained me an Elder in 2001 despite knowing I'm transgender had it's last service this past Sunday. The Presbytery closed us because we were so small. Now my wife and I have to find a new church but we've been invited to another church where the pastor has called for transgender acceptance from the pulpit during a sermon.

Congratulations on the WPATH acceptance.

A similar situation has been taking place at my church. Our female pastor has been promoting our church to lesbian women for the past few years. Due to our financial position and her views falling into disfavor with several of the members she recently resigned. Our church is currently being run by an administrative commission and I am concerned that their ultimate goal is to close our church and take possession of a large restricted fund left by a former member.

[Danya (imported)]

Wonderful to hear. My church that accepted me in 2000 as a member despite knowing I'm transgender, ordained me an Elder in 2001 despite knowing I'm transgender had it's last service this past Sunday. The Presbytery closed us because we were so small. Now my wife and I have to find a new church but we've been invited to another church where the pastor has called for transgender acceptance from the pulpit during a sermon.

Congratulations on the WPATH acceptance.

Hi Hopeful1,

Have you and your wife had a chance to try the transgender welcoming church that invited you? I hope you find another church you are both happy with.

We're fortunate in that our church is relatively large, at over two thousand members, and growing. And we have at least 1 baptism every two - three weeks. Yesterday there were three baptisms.

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I'm in a quandary this afternoon. I just got a call from the university I worked at for over 2 1/2 years. That ended middle of last year when I was laid off, something I knew would happen when I took that job. Turns out my position has been reopened--technically this is a "call back." I can return without interviewing. This is a permanent opportunity.

I'm feeling down just thinking about returning. The pay was good and the benefits were excellent. My boss was terrific. There are major minuses to resuming the job:

1. I didn't like the work, although the job might now have somewhat different responsibilities.

2. I left the job a few months before the official lay-off because my pelvic pain was severe day in and day out.

Although I can't be absolutely certain, I don't think my pain situation would be much improved should I return to the job. My pain is still often severe and particularly bad if I go to several church meetings and a church service within a week. Being at work every day would likely be worse than that.

In addition, if I go back I will need to largely abandon my idea for a trans* advocacy business. We'd also need to abandon the idea of moving to a much warmer climate. Cold winter weather dramatically worsens my pain.

I should know better by now, but I'm still surprised that writing here helps clear my mind.

[Uncle Flo (imported)]

First, take care of yourself, if you do not you can't possibly fulfill any of your fine aims. --FLO--

[Hopeful1 (imported)]

Hi Hopeful1,

Have you and your wife had a chance to try the transgender welcoming church that invited you? I hope you find another church you are both happy with.

We're fortunate in that our church is relatively large, at over two thousand members, and growing. And we have at least 1 baptism every two - three weeks. Yesterday there were three baptisms.

We haven't yet. This week some of us met at a coffee shop around the corner from the church and kind of decompressed. We also had a Kenyan Presbyterian Fellowship meeting in our sanctuary and the Presbytery is letting them stay until December. We are all going to visit them this Sunday. Then next Sunday we are visiting another Presbyterian church that's pretty accepting. I believe my therapist still goes there and, as the first ever Presbyterian minister to maintain ordination after transition and surgery, she's pretty much OUT! The church that invited us is a good distance on the other side of downtown Atlanta. Or as we would say locally, "it's a pretty fer piece."

[Danya (imported)]

....

I'm in a quandary this afternoon. I just got a call from the university I worked at for over 2 1/2 years. That ended middle of last year when I was laid off, something I knew would happen when I took that job. Turns out my position has been reopened--technically this is a "call back." I can return without interviewing. This is a permanent opportunity.

I'm feeling down just thinking about returning. The pay was good and the benefits were excellent. My boss was terrific. There are major minuses to resuming the job:

1. I didn't like the work, although the job might now have somewhat different responsibilities.

2. I left the job a few months before the official lay-off because my pelvic pain was severe day in and day out.

Although I can't be absolutely certain, I don't think my pain situation would be much improved should I return to the job. My pain is still often severe and particularly bad if I go to several church meetings and a church service within a week. Being at work every day would likely be worse than that.

In addition, if I go back I will need to largely abandon my idea for a trans* advocacy business. We'd also need to abandon the idea of moving to a much warmer climate. Cold winter weather dramatically worsens my pain.

I should know better by now, but I'm still surpris

ed that writing here helps clear my mind.

First, take care of yourself, if you do not you c

an't possibly fulfill any of your fine aims. --FLO--

Thank you for your wise words, Uncle Flo.

After discussing the pros and cons with my husband, I decided not to take the permanent job. I had requested the job description. Reading that showed me that I would have disliked the new responsibilities even more the the old ones. My main reason for turning it down, however, is my pain. I cannot control it well enough to take on a regular job.

While I'm fine with my decision, and so is my husband, I need to get cracking on getting the new business started. That should be fun!

[Danya (imported)]

I'm excited that I've found a 'co-conspirator' for my new business. He's someone I met through church who has his own business helping and guiding leaders and organizations that want to have a positive social impact. Just like me! We are exchanging ideas and tips on how to go about all this. It's great to have a friend to bounce ideas of of.

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I'm

trying to get back into the habit of practicing the piano and organ regularly. This afternoon I worked my way through Chopin's Ballade #4, one of my favorite piano works. It was tough going; I haven't practiced this regularly in at least 7 years. I need to slowly work up to longer practice times to limit increase in my pelvic pain.

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After 4 or 5 days of temperatures far above normal, spring has definitely arrived in Minnesota. Just in the last two or three days many tress and bushes are greening up. I saw some early tulips blooming this afternoon.

[_g (imported)]

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After 4 or 5 days of temperatures far above normal, spring has definitely arrived in Minnesota. Just in the last

two or three days many tress and bushes are greening up. I saw some early tulips blooming this afternoon.

Tulips are about gone here, we had an early start of spring in the Pacific Norhtwest

_g

[Danya (imported)]

Tulips are about gone here, we had an early start of spring in the Pacific Norhtwest

_g

Hi _g,

The tulips were glorious this weekend at the Minnesota Landscape Arboretum. The lilacs are in full bloom and wonderfully fragrant. We've had a bit of an early spring here, too.

I've been to Portland, OR in February and was surprised to see huge camellias (looked like small trees) in full bloom. Early spring bloomers were in flower, too. I love the Pacific Northwest.

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I am sticking with my intention to practice the piano (fairly) regularly. This afternoon I will practice the pipe organ for a few hours. I find when I play either piano or organ that I become so involved with the music that my pelvic pain temporarily disappears. How wonderful! Just yester

day I learned that I get the same effect from listening intently to music I love w

hile resting on the sofa.

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My business 'partner' and I will meet tomorrow over coffee. We both gain valuable information from these visits and they are fun besides. He put me on track to find a web platform that is ideal for selling training materials. Each products can include a video, podcast, transcript of the video, exercise questions and a blog specific to that product. The overall website on this platform has a larger blog capability. There are lots of other capabilities that I'm just learning about. Like hosting live interactive sessions with users and potential users to get feedback on what's right with products and what changes would improve them. This is a way of improving each product while selling it. Very powerful.

[Danya (imported)]

Thursday September 2, 2021

I have been thinking of posting an update for months. Then a friend at the 2021 MoM encouraged me to do so. For several days I've been wracking my brain about what to write. Finally, and more reasonably, I decided to stop thinking of writing and simply write the way I used to here: just wing it!

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In my last post, I wrote about meeting with a business 'partner'. R was more of a very effective business coach who for some reason provided his services free to me. We ended the coaching on good terms when I found my chronic pelvic pain, a result of SRS, was too severe to be able to start a business. R and I remain good friends.

The same pain caused me to give up practicing the piano and pipe organ regularly.

In 2018, I had surgery to implant the recently FDA approved DRG (Dorsal Root Ganglion stimulator including a subdermal battery to power it). By surgically placing leads from the battery to the appropriate DRG next to my spinal cord, pain signals from my pelvis would be interfered with. It works! But it's not perfect, as the manufacturer admits. So I continue daily physical therapy exercises.

Another big help is dry needling, in which a physical therapist places fine needles into tight bundles of muscles (trigger points) and then applies a small voltage. It's very effective! And a fairly recent development in the US, at least.

[Prior to DRG surgery, I was required by my health insurance company to have a psychological evaluation to determine if I was a good candidate for the surgery. One of the questions the psychologist asked was if my pain caused me to regret SRS surgery. I responded with a firm 'no.' He shot back with a firm 'good.' The fact is I have not once complained to anyone that I wish I'd not had SRS. SRS was essential for my psychological health.]

While I'm seldom p

ain-free, the amount of my pain (yes, I've been told

I must 'own' the pain ) is greatly reduced. Yay!

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After DRG implant surgery, I was able to resume daily piano practice of 3 - 4 hours. My church (our congregation is a very progressive congregation of the progressive Evangelical Lutheran Church in America [ELCA]. Note: I consider myself an agnostic while culturally being a very progressive Lutheran. Note 2: By calling the ELCA progressive, I am not endorsing all ELCA churches as being progressive.

Some remain rather conservative.) will be getting a n

ew, improved pipe organ within the next year. I'll b

e able to practice it. Can't wait!

I'm also again considering starting a remote

business.

Without major pain reduction, none of this would have been possible.

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D and I will celebrate our 8th wedding anniversary in 11 days. Two members of the EA attended our wedding! We still feel like newlyweds in some ways, although we are elderly newlyweds. We both continue to learn more about each other. D is a seemingly endless source of stories about his youth, first marriage, and son. (my stepson!). We increasingly realize what great matches we are for each other and how fortunate we are to be together.

We argue occassionally but it never becomes a long, dragged out affair. One or both of us winds up apologizing and the argument is gone. This is very different from arguments in my first marriage. I am much happier with D than I was back then. D is simila

rly much happier than he was in his first marriage.

We continue to read to each other every night, an activity that is quite intimate to us.

Something else w

e do in the early evening is watch an educational video together, which we

typically discuss once it's finished.

But make no mistake, D has interests that are totally different from mine. That's a good thing.

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I may post more updates 'going forward' (as if one could 'go backward' ). What surprises me with this post is I found it just as therapeutic all the earlier ones.

I wish everyone well, wherever you are in your journeys through life.

[Paolo]

It was great seeing you at the MOM! Glad to see you, and to see the update.