Transitioning at work and in all of my life

[Danya (imported)]

The Chicago physical therapist I saw once last September attended an international conference on pain in Buenos Aires, late last year. Today, she responded to my email request asking for any new information on treating pain. I already know, from personal experience, that stress worsens my pelvic pain. She told me that latest research by one of the leasing pain research groups in the world (based in Australia) supports that idea that 'cold' stress worsens the type of pain I have, and other types, too. This is good news! At least I have additional confirmation that what I seem to experience is valid.

I have three books put out by the Australian team on pain, its origins, central nervous system sensitization and managing/lessening pain. They have just published another book that explains, in part, how stress contributes to pain. It sounds like it also describes new ways to think about stress and how to manage it. I will get the book.

While I accept that I cannot lead a stress-free life, I may need to reduce job-related stress to the extent possible. This could mean being very selective about work environments and the type of work I do.

'D' and I are continuing to discuss

the possibility of moving to a warmer climate.

If we do, I'm not sure we need to move to an area with the mildest climate. Perhaps one with a much milder climate than Minnesota would do. So far, we are talking about:

Seattle

Portland, OR

Southern California (San Diego or, perhaps, areas of the LA metro)

[Riverwind (imported)]

Hawaii is always nice too. It has sure had a calming effect on me.

River

[kristoff]

Hawaii is always nice too. It has sure had a calming effect on me.

River

And here you thought it was the so-called "Eunuch Calm."

[C&TL2745 (imported)]

...

'D' and I are continuing to discuss

the

possibility of moving to a warmer climate.

If we do, I'm not sure we need to move to an area with the mildest climate. Perhaps one with a much milder climate than Minnesota would do. So far, we are talking about:

Seattle

Portland, OR

Southern Cali

fornia (San Diego or, perhaps, areas of the LA metro)My hubby and I are currently visiting my brother and his wife in the San Diego area. It's 62 degrees at the moment, and they're predicting 77 by this weekend. And it's a fairly relaxed area. I'm not sure LA would be all that good for stress, though. Best wishes.

Sandi

[Danya (imported)]

Hawaii is always nice too. It has sure had a calming effect on me.

River

Hawaii might be wonderful if I could get a job there! I've

been to Oahu, Maui and Hawaii. The islands are gorgeous.

And here you thought it was the so-called "Eunuch Calm."

I also wondered about this.

My hubby and I are currently visiting my brother and his wife in the San Diego area. It's 62 degrees at the moment, and they're predicting 77 by this weekend. And it's

a fairly relaxed area. I'm not sure LA would be all that good for stress, though. Best wishes.

Sandi

Thanks for the info and best wishes, Sandi. I've been to San Diego a few times and was always impressed with the pleasant temperatures. I've been to LA twice and agree it would not be a low-stress area, unless perhaps we were able to live somewhere near the edge of the metro.

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I think the steroid injection I received yesterday is working. I'll be more confident about that if the good result continues into tomorrow. It will be another week of two before I know if the Botox helps. The doctor told me not to get my hopes up on that one,

[Danya (imported)]

One of the greatest sorrows in my life is lack of acceptance from my family. One of my brothers is extremely conservative both religiously and politically; the other may be somewhat less so. Watching the Diane Sawyer-Bruce Jenner interview reopened old feelings of loss for me. I agree with Bruce that folks of all politcal/religious beliefs can have issues understanding how anyone could posiliby be transgender. Accepting, even without understanding, is a problem for many. Yet I am hopeful that my brothers listened to the interview. The admission by Bruce ('her') that he is a Republican and a Christian might be a big help. Although it's been many years since we have spoken, just maybe they will begin to think differently. I won't get my hopes up. A few minutes ago, I was crying. Families can be such a blessing, with all their particular foibles, weaknesses and failings.

The interview was exceptionally well done. It was respectful, and Bruce ('her') was allowed to tell his own story. I was extremely pleased.

I very nearly put this post on my Facebook account. At least I got up the courage to comment about the interview on Facebook. It's very likely I will be running a home-based business soon, so I'm gradually losing my concerns about revealing I am transgender to potential employers. I have always wanted to be an advocate for trans* issues. Over the years, I've been a successful advocate for a few causes and found this very fulfilling.

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My pelvic pain is truly debilitating. It's been nearly 2 1/2 months since this episode of severe pain began. It has not let up. While I continue daily routines to help lessen the pain, nothing so far is offering any lasting relief. Although I'm reluctant to say 'it's OK anyway',' it truly is OK. After 3 1/2 years living with constant pain, I'm getting real about it. With some difficulty, I've accepted not just in my head but also in my heart how this limits my life and career. This makes my life easier as I'm not fighting my situation.

I'm not giving up, either. Although I have dropped certain career paths I'd love to pursue, such as teaching at a community college. And I cannot socialize as much as I'd like. But, I've got

many wonderful people in my life,

including some folks from this site. My husband 'D' continues to amaze me with his understanding and support. Life is still beautiful and good; I just need to modify my expectations and approach.

[Danya (imported)]

I was pleasantly surprised to receive a Happy Mother's Day card from my stepson and his wife. They were guests at our wedding and also were official witnesses. Apparently, they do not view me as the wicked stepmother! Life is good!

[Danya (imported)]

A week or so ago, I learned through LinkedIn that my only niece was married in March of this year. I would be lying if I were to say that my biological family no longer means much to me. Although we have not spoken in seven years, I found that news of the wedding brought up many memories of happy times together. Those all occurred during the years, decades really, before I transitioned.

What surprised me most was the intense sorrow I felt over missing this important milestone in my niece's and her parents' lives. That also kicked off intense regret over never having had a child of my own. When they were children, my niece and nephew seemed to be constantly fighting. With their parents' frequent answering yelling and screams, I remember feeling glad that I did not have children. The truth is, back then I did not feel I would make a good parent. It seems something just sort of a miracle that both 'kids' are now presumably mostly mature adults, in their mid to late 20s, with careers and independent lives.

Mama and Papa, so I also see from LinkedIn, remain successful. Although we are estranged, I have sent both brothers notes letting them know that I, too, am doing well. I have always included my latest contact information, should they want to reconnect. That has never happened. I must stop hoping that things between us will ever change.

[Danya (imported)]

In the early months of my transition, I occasionally experienced 'boob envy.' That ended as I became more comfortable in my 'new' body. After seeing Caitlyn Jenner's revealing Vanity Fair cover, however, I started feeling that somehow my own endowment was less than I'd like. It's not that I have ever felt embarrassed in public or even naked in a women's locker room. These renewed feelings of inadequacy may be tied to my now being married. 'D' has never said he is unhappy with what I've got and we have discussed my feelings. I doubt that I will pursue breast augmentation surgery, although 'D' says if it's what I really want he would be supportive. I'm concerned about surgery side effects, given my experience with SRS. There's also the expense. Then, too, I expect I will soon return to feeling happy with what I've got.

In early June, I started seeing a psychologist who specializes in pain management. He typically sees patients once a month. That's fine with me. Today was my second visit. I am impressed by his suggestions and insights. I'm going to check into acupuncture. He recommended several people who have helped pain patients through hypnosis. I'll give that a try, too. [Another psychologist told me that it sounded like I am able to perform self-hypnosis during my hour-long nightly relaxation-meditation sessions. Maybe someone more adept at hypnosis will be able to help.]

[_g (imported)]

In the early months of my transition, I occasionally experienced 'boob envy.' That ended as I became more comfortable in my 'new' body. After seeing Caitlyn Jenner's revealing Vanity Fair cover, however, I started feeling that somehow my own endowment was less than I'd like.

Clip.....

Just REMEMBER Caitlyn Jenner spent $Money$ like water. And Caitlyn Jenner boobs are not natural in any way, to short of time period to have natural breast growth! And to boot I was told Caitlyn Jenner did not have any bottom surgery (I do not know if this is true )

_g