Transitioning at work and in all of my life

Danya (imported)
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Re: Transitioning at work and in all of my life

Post by Danya (imported) »

Tomorrow I will drive downtown for an afternoon appointment with my electrologist. She was unable to finish up on Sunday.

It is important for her to keep this facial hair regrowth under control. Nearly all the remaining hair is now of a much finer texture than when I started. The treatments are working. I think it is important to my job search, and eventual employment, that I not have much visible facial hair. We are just about there, although I still need months of treatment to fully eradicate everything.

A few days ago, I wrote to my dislocated worker counselor in Minnesota. I wanted to update him on my progress and say 'hi.'

This is his response, in quotes, to which I have added my comments. He is very good at what he does and I always appreciate his help.

"Thank you Danya for keeping me up to date on all your efforts. I do think that things are slowly improving in the job market."

I agree, my own experience tends to support this conclusion. Things are still extremely difficult, though, for many people without work. It bothers me, from time to time, that little news coverage is given to the plight of those who have been unemployed for many months.

"I believe that when someone has a vast amount of experience and knowledge like yourself sometimes it can be a bit of a disadvantage. But I do not want you to settle for less. I understand that you do not need specific directions, but I want to remind you that because of your exemplary skills, you might find it more difficult to find a job that is a good fit. Please keep this in mind."

I did not tell him that I did not need specific directions. He came up with that on his own. I am, though, slightly concerned that I may be at a disadvantage. I am finding it is difficult to find a job that is a good fit. The fact that I am transgender may also make finding a good job more problematic. I always work on the assumption that it will not and I never go into an interview worrying about it. Just as I do not worry about my age, although I am prepared to address concerns about my age. If my TG status matters to a particular employer, then that is not a place I want to work. This issue has the potential to significantly reduce the number of places that will hire me. The fact remains that the unemployment rate is much higher among TG folks than it is for the general population. Still, several people who should know tell me that my experience and education should make this a relatively uncommon road block.

He is not my only advisor who says I should not have to settle for less. I do not know this, however, but I assume I will not. I also assume that, despite the bleak news on the economy, I will find a good job. I have got to maintain this outlook. There may come a time, however, when I have to settle for less. I am working very hard to see that this never happens.

"....I know and can feel that you will be contacting me to tell me that you have been hired in the near future. Please keep me up to date on the events. Also, let me know if there is any way in which I can continue to support and help you in all your job search efforts."

I'm not sure how he can 'know and feel' that I will soon be telling him I have been hired 😄, but I hope he is right. [He knows about all the ways I am trying to find work.] I feel this way, too. Time will tell. If I get this contract job on Friday, I will be settling for less, temporarily, but for more responsibility. Nonetheless, this is a good opportunity that would give me valuable experience. There is always the possibility that this company will decide to offer me a permanent job.

He supports me by reaffirming the way I am handling my job search. That is important. The Minnesota resources for unemployed people have proven invaluable. The unemployed worker centers provided expert resources and training in networking, interviewing and so on.

On Friday morning at 10 AM, I will interview at a local health care firm for a contract job. The recruiter and I spoke today. She told me the hiring manager is anxious to meet me. I have heard this before, only to have things fall through.

She emailed me a list of questions the hiring managers at this place typically ask. She also gave more explicit instructions on ways to go about answering them. All of this is information I learned in Minnesota, but it was good to 'hear' it again. I will be well prepared.

Late Friday afternoon, I have an appointment with my gender therapist in the southwestern suburbs. This will be the first time I see her in a fancy pants suit, as I will still be wearing my interview clothes. :) She will give me a 'safe passage' letter that should provide additional help in getting the important
Danya (imported) wrote: Tue Apr 27, 2010 7:16 pm 'F' designation on my Illinois drivers license.
She told me that others have also found this useful for international travel. Perhaps I will catch that flight to Beijing! I think she could have mailed me this letter. Instead, she wants to discuss it. She will also charge a hefty fee, in addition to the visit cost, to provide the letter. I will take care of the drivers license early next week.

My roommate and my 'sister' Erica Ann have told me that I do not need to see everything in Chicago right now. :) I am guestimating that there is a 40% chance that I will move away from Chicago for a permanent job. That time may not be far off. I feel a certain urgency to see 'everything,' although there is so much here that is not possibile.

There are several things I want to do within the next month or so, in case I move soon. One of these is to hear the Chicago Symphony Orchestra in their concert hall, not at the wonderful outdoor venue of Ravinia. Another is to take a boat tour on Lake Michigan. If I can do this without spending a fortune. I also want to spend more time downtown and in surrounding areas taking photos.
Danya (imported)
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Re: Transitioning at work and in all of my life

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I am starting to feel that I will never get off this interminable treadmill of a job search. Oddly, this is happening just when things appear to be coming together. My concern is that if I get a contract job, I will still be under a lot of stress because I need to find a permanent job. Or at least a work type that will provide decent benefits.

Then there is the possibility of another move. I know I can handle this if I must and that I will be fine. Moving is still a major life stressor and I only recently moved to the Chicago area.

Although I am excited by the way things are going, I also want it all to be settled. Or at least know that the path I am on will enable me to reach my goals.

The way I am taking care of myself, with frequent long walks and time to see the local sites, helps me deal with all this uncertainty.
Danya (imported)
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Re: Transitioning at work and in all of my life

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To see good friends and visit beautiful places.

If I have a distant out of town interview, the thrill of traveling by air will be worth it even if I do not get the job.
Danya (imported)
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Re: Transitioning at work and in all of my life

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I spent most of the day on a 2 1/2 hour electrolysis appointment and getting to downtown and back. It was a gloomy afternoon, with low clouds that obscured the tops of buildings with more than 50 floors or so.

On the way home, I spoke with Erica Ann. I'd like to celebrate the two-year anniversary of my transition at a dinner with Erica Ann and her spouse, Friday evening of next week. This is two days after the actual anniversary date, but a Wednesday evening dinner is not as easy to work out.

I arrived home to find a message from a single, new recruiter. It's for a job that I am not a very good match for, but since she saw my resume and thought this might work I will apply.

Later this evening, I will also apply for seven new jobs I found today.

When I find a new position, I will spend the money to produce a web site to display and, I hope, sell some of my photos. This will just be the start of something I wanted to try over two years ago. It's really a long-term project. I did not have time back then because my job was keeping my busy 60 hours or more each week.

When I moved, I gave all of my studio lighting to a friend. So I will be more limited in the types of photos I can create. This is OK, though, and I think I can still make it work. Or at least give it a good shot without spending much money.
kennath7 (imported)
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Re: Transitioning at work and in all of my life

Post by kennath7 (imported) »

Danya

I know how frustrating a stressful things are for you right now

Other than that I am glad you are doing well and that your spirits are in a positive place

Keep up the good work , I know things will turn around for you soon I see in you that female determination in that you will not give up until you achieve your goal

I like your photos, I take many my self it helps me escape to my own world
Danya (imported)
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Re: Transitioning at work and in all of my life

Post by Danya (imported) »

Danya
kennath7 (imported) wrote: Thu May 13, 2010 6:36 pm I know how frustrating a stressful things are for you right now

Other than that I am glad you are doing well and that your spirits are in a positive place

Keep up the good work , I know things will turn around for you soon I see in you that female determination in that you will not give up until you achieve your goal

I like your photos, I take many my self it helps me escape to my own world

You are such a sweetheart, kennath7. Turns out this is exactly what I needed to hear tonight. I appreciate your mentioning how frustrating and stressful things are for me at this time.

I just spoke with an Archive friend about this and related matters. I was a little concerned that folks are thinking I am just sailing through my life without a care in the world. You clearly recognize this is not the case.

Although I am doing well and my spirits are high, I have moments when I wonder how all of this will turn out. Typically, these don't last long and I get on with what I need to do and then I know everything will turn out fine.

Usually, I feel a great sense of freedom. Losing my job has turned out to be a good thing in many ways. I now have a chance to rebuild my life in a way that is more fulfilling. That includes the possibility of moving yet again to choices on what types of jobs I take. This freedom can be a little scary at times, too.

Thanks for the comment on my photos. :) I'm glad photography lets you escape to your own world. I feel the same way.

Hugs,

Danya
Danya (imported)
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Re: Transitioning at work and in all of my life

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I have mixed feelings about tomorrow morning's interview for the contract job. Perhaps by the time I finish writing this, I will be back on track.

What is bothering me about this? I am concerned that I will be offered the job and also concerned that I will not be. 😄 Why?

1. Unlike many technical recruiting agencies, the one handling this offers no benefits. This is fine for now, but
Danya (imported) wrote: Wed May 12, 2010 7:07 pm I need to find a permanent job,
with benefits, by the end of January, 2010. That is when my COBRA coverage runs out. Besides, the benefits offered by some agencies are not extensive.

2. If I get the job, I will be more stressed out. I will absolutely work hard at the new position. It will be critical that I continue to make a very good impression. I will also need to continue working hard on finding a permanent job while maintaining my sanity. :)

3. In my entire work history, I have never had to take a contract job. This is essentially temporary work, although there is a chance they would hire me as a permanent employee.

4. Contract workers (essentially consultants) are often not viewed by regular employees as true team members. This can make it difficult to fit in and accomplish what needs to be done.

I am working hard today preparing for the interview. This evening, I will probably go someplace to relax. That will put me in the right frame of mind for the interview.

The thing is, I really want to be offered this position. The company is trans friendly. The experience I can gain at this company would be invaluable, in part because it is a new industry for me. Some of the technology they use is also new to me but frequently used throughout companies hiring people in my field.

Having a contract job while I continue to look for permanent work puts me in a stronger position than being unemployed and seeking work. The new experience will look good on my resume, too.
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Re: Transitioning at work and in all of my life

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I just heard that tomorrow's interview has been postponed until Monday morning at 10:00 AM. The hiring manager had a last minute meeting scheduled.

This week is the first I will be collecting 'first tier' unemployment extension of benefits paid for by the federal government. I am hopeful that within a few weeks, or less, I will have some type of job and can leave unemployment behind.

One of my contingency plans is moving to another part of the country for a job in my field of expertise. I am also considering options should I not find a job similar to what I had, although I think this is unlikely.

One of these options is to go back to graduate school, probably while working at a full-time job of some type. I could build on my chemistry background by taking graduate courses in clinical or pharmaceutical chemistry. I enjoy school, or the classes, anyway. :) At least in years past, it was relatively easy to obtain school-related work in the physical sciences as a teaching or research assistant. I could combine an assistant position with some other type of work or work full-time while doing the course work or a degree full-time. I have done this before and I was not a spring chicken then, either.

Another option is to work towards a degree in gender studies. This is a field that fascinates me. Before going this route, though, I would need to check into the marketability of such a degree. I suspect it may not be high. I am almost certain I would be unable to rely on a school for any type of assisting job for this type of degree.

If I find a job soon, I still need to think about longer term income security. How will I ensure that I always can bring in money, no matter what is happening with the economy? With a 9 to 5 job, I probably could not find enough evening courses in advanced chemistry to do me any good.
Danya (imported) wrote: Sat Jan 10, 2009 6:06 pm There is the possibility of
going for an MBA degree. At this point in my career, I am not sure if this would help or harm my future prospects for employment. I have noticed job ads in my field that list a preference for applicants for MBAs. My sense is an MBA would make it easier for me to be an independent consultant.

Yet another option is to learn one or more of the latest programming languages. I have been a 'code jockey(ette) 😄 in another life, so I understand the basic principles of coding. Including object oriented programming. I continue to do database coding. I suspect I could find freelance work on projects, to start.

The economy is changing the ways companies do business, how they view employees and so on. I need to be prepared to support myself, whatever may happen down the road.

I am making an effort not to over prepare for tomorrow morning's interview. I will be ready to answer the standard types of questions while remaining relaxed enough to answer unexpected questions. The weather is supposed to be clear tomorrow. I will get up early enough to take a long walk before showering and dressing for the interview. Either the hiring manager will feel I am a good fit or not. If not, another opportunity will come along soon.
Danya (imported)
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Re: Transitioning at work and in all of my life

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As I noted in my last post, my interview at the local health care industry was postponed until Monday. My electrologist assured me, via email, that she would keep this in mind at our Sunday afternoon appointment. 😄 Meaning, she will use less current in the treatment so I will have less obvious redness by Monday morning. I hope!

I am not sitting around waiting to be offered the contract job. Since late this afternoon into late this evening, I have applied at a number of recruiting agencies, indicating I am willing to move to the locations I listed. I want to point out that for most of these, I would be moving at my own expense. Most of the rest of the day I spent preparing for the interview that will not happen now until next week.

My close Twin Cities friend would view one of these consulting firms as another manifestation of the 'evil empire.' :) I do not think she would go quite this far. They are rated highly as a place to work. I would work directly for this firm, traveling to different client sites as needed. They provide excellent benefits. I like to travel, although I realize constant travel for a job can be very tiring.

Last night, I went to see "Iron Man 2." It was not as entertaining as the original, but it got me out of the house and to my first movie in many months.

When I returned to my car after the show, I unlocked the door and got in. I noticed that, on this chilly night, the car seemed nice and toasty. :) Turns out I had left it running with my other set of keys in the ignition. 😄 A friend noted, somewhat ominously, "You'll find this happening more frequently as you get older." 😄

I responded that I have always tended to be preoccupied with thoughts that have little to do with what my body may be doing. When I was married, my ex-wife would try to drag me back to the 'real' world, saying "earth to (that name I used to go by)." She always thought I had my head in the clouds. It is likely my friend is also correct, though. I am definitely getting older.

Anyway, I was certainly preoccupied as I arrived at the theater. I keep trying to come up with new ways to find a job and alternative jobs. I was also listening to the Prelude to Act I of Die Meistersinger von Nurnburg. I suspect this was contributing to my distraction. :) For some reason, and even though this is Wagner's sole comic opera (or music drama), when I hear this prelude I feel that I am naked and the music is rolling over and caressing my body. I know, this may be TMI! 😄

So when my naked body is being caressed by insubstantial but powerful music while I am thinking about my life options, I tend to be just a little distracted.

Speaking of bodies, I finally seem to be noticing some enhanced breast growth long promised by my new HRT doctor. I even went out today, for the first time....well, never mind. I do not want to give out all of my secrets. :)

Then there is my hair. I am not sure Erica Ann knows this, although she was one of the instigators of this change. At least indirectly. Until two months ago, I always kept my own hair very short so wearing a wig would be as comfortable, and cool, as possible. Now that it is growing out, I am also dyeing it to match the wig color fairly closely.

This serves two purposes. It prevents stray gray hair from showing along the edges of the wig. My electrologist also assured me that this was the way to go in case I ever get into an intimate situation. Like that's going to happen. 😄 Anyway, I would not want to shock some unsuspecting partner by revealing gray hair under a dark auburn wig.

Now that my hair has grown a bit, I think I will be able to go without a wig at some point. There are ways, known only to women :), to get this to look realistic even with a somewhat receding hairline. Anyway, lots of natal women have thinning hair. Mine is still reasonably thick over nearly all of my head.

I am so tired from this job search that I am going to take tomorrow off. Recruiters now have my cell number should they need to reach me. I will go to the Chicago Botanic Garden in the morning. I am still discovering new areas there. Last time, I found this very cool model train railroad garden. Unforuntately, I need to see my gender therapist in the afternoon and pay her not only for the visit but for a generic 'safe passage' letter.

Friday evening, I will go to Hunters nightclub
Danya (imported) wrote: Thu Nov 19, 2009 8:04 pm for the first time in many weeks.

I'll work again Saturday.

Finally, thanks to the folks who keep this site running. I was feeling stressed out when I started writing this post and I am more relaxed now.
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Re: Transitioning at work and in all of my life

Post by mrt (imported) »

Programming or Gender studies? I think both are very interesting topics. I'm curious what you would do once you completed a course in gender?

As to software what were you thinking? I've decided to get off my rear and take a few day classes (One day things) from some parts vendors to kind of update me to where things are. The problem is they have 5 different sub topics and I find that to do what I'm interested in would take 4 of me to do them all and sadly they don't have anyway for you to complete more then one. So, I'm mixing and matching and hope to get something out of it.

If you did move back into chemistry etc maybe you could work on HRT type things? That would be of GREAT interest to many of your friends (cough - ME) who would like more science involved in the dose, half lives etc of the stuff being sold. I did a spread sheet program using the "official" and "reported" half lives of several Testosterone treatments to try to understand why what I've been taking seems to work (or not) and shared that with some UK friends using a (so called) longer lasting ester. Sheesh!!! Too much "art" not enough "Science" in my amateur opinion but??? I could easily be wrong.

Congrats on the new hormone program producing better results. Your picking an interesting time in your life to go through puberty! ;)

Memory and such I think are an indication that your wired fully female! So congrats on that and ahh (cough) good luck! *Finding your keys etc.
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