Transitioning at work and in all of my life

[Danya (imported)]

Danya,

Here's one who hopes you continue to post us on your brave, bold, and bodacious adventures into the real you.

I am away so often I don't check here as much as I would like, but when I do I always read your posts first.

Never give up on the wedding bells and on being the wedding belle.

-NeinNaziYahLittleNuts

Hi NN,

It's great to hear from you.

Thanks for your kind remarks.

A close friend in the Twin Cities is convinced that I will get ma

rried some day and that she will be the wedding photographer. You never know what may happen.

Hugs,

Danya

dayna

i do hope that you would visit now and then your are a good friend

i will miss you

i wish you all the luck

Hi kennath7,

I will visit at least now and then to report on what's going on. Thanks for the good wishes. I'm very hopeful that a number of positive things, including a job, will happen because of this move.

Hugs,

Danya

[Danya (imported)]

I'm feeling a little lonely tonight, although I am getting along very well with my new roommate. We are probably more like housemates since I can use anything in the place.

Just this evening, she gave me 5 pairs of nice shoes that no longer fit. There are also about 15 tops for me to try on. I've tried a few and they

fit well and are very attractive.

Late Thursday evening, I arrived here in the Chicago area with my last car load of things. I still haven't entirely unpacked or found space for everything. Some things, like my computer printer, will just have to sit on the floor away from the small desk.

The bed is quite comfortable and I am sleeping well. So well, in fact, that I find I am getting up earlier than I have been for months.

I spent about four hours last night, and several this morning, searching for jobs and the impression I am getting here matches what I had concluded while still in Minnesota. There are a wider variety of opportunities for me here.

Today I had

my first marathon electrolysis session.

Three hours with two electrologists working on my face simultaneously. They cleared my entire face but did not finish my neck. They will work on that next Saturday evening. They say that with the intense treatment I am getting, within two months I won't need to shave. I'll believe that when I see (or feel ) it. After that, I'll still need further treatments for many months to destroy regrowth. These two woman are very good, and I achieved much better results during today's session than I did with one six hour session with the electrologist I had tried in Minnesota. The $5,000 I spent there was totally wasted.

While making progress on electrolysis won't land me a job, it will make things much more endurable for me. In addition, if I get a job that requires travel, not having to shave or needing to shave only infrequently will enable me to continue 'passing' on days with very long hours.

Having to let my facial hair grow over three days for today's electrology appointment has kept me mostly housebound. By Friday afternoon, I was starting to look like something a not very friendly cat had dragged in! Fortunately, I have been promised that after today's intense session I won't be looking scruffy again. Most women I know do NOT like to look scruffy, not on the face anyway.

I am finding I miss my piano more than I anticipated. Playing music has always been one of my ways of communicating my emotions. I need to do something about this.

The swelling from today's hair removing session left me looking like something akin to a baboon. Tomorrow morning the swelling will be even worse. I can still look for work while I keep my face iced.

[SplitDik (imported)]

Danya, I just wanted you to know that your blog is very interesting and despite your indication last month that you might stop posting I hope you continue. I know it must feel a little unsatisfying to post things and not get responses, but the reason you don't get feedback from people like me is that we don't really feel qualified to comment. But be sure there are people reading and wishing you well.

Regarding the job hunt, I have recently received notice at my work so I'm looking as well. Job hunting is a strange mix of emotions -- there are certainly positives about re-evaluating your direction in life (even a chance to move like you have), but there are also self-doubts that creep in, plus a tendency to settle for lesser jobs than you want because the spectre of financial difficulty starts to get quite acute.

Anyway, hang in there and I can tell from your attitude and the indications that you do have supportive people in your life that you'll do fine.

Sincerely,

SD

[Danya (imported)]

Danya, I just wanted you to know that your blog is very interesting and despite your indication last month that you might stop posting I hope you continue. I know it must feel a little unsatisfying to post things and not get responses, but the reason you don't get feedback from people like me is that we don't really feel qualified to comment. But be sure there are people reading and wishing you well.

Hi SD,

Thanks for your kind remarks. You are right, at times I do feel unsatisfied when there are no responses. On the other hand, I know from the thread view total that people are reading.

As I've said before, it helps me to write. For whatever reason, if I am writing only for myself I do not continue. Posting here is therapeutic and I realize my posts may help some others.

Regarding the job hunt, I have recently received notice at my work so I'm looking as well. Job hunting is a strange mix of emotions -- there are certainly positives about re-evaluating your direction in life (even a chance to move like you have), but there are also self-doubts that creep in, plus a tendency to settle for lesser jobs than you want because the spectre of financial difficulty starts to get quite acute.

I'm sorry to hear you have received notice that your job is about to end. I agree with you. Job hunting can bring up a wide range of shifting emotions. This is certainly a difficult time for most of us without work.

My government provided work counselor told me I might have to settle for 80% of what I had been making. I would gladly take a job paying that but there is still the possibility I may be able to bring in close to what I had been making. Or perhaps even a bit more, judging from some of the ads. I'm fortunate in that I have a wide range of skills and education, not all of which I was using at my last job. My counselor really emphasized this.

Generally, I am upbeat about my prospects but I want a job in the worst way! Preferably one with a future.

Anyway, hang in there and I can tell from your attitude and the indications that you do have supportive people in your life that you'll do fine.

Sincerely,

SD

Thanks for writing. Best wishes as you conduct your own job search.

Hugs,

Danya

[Danya (imported)]

I wrote a long post a few days ago, but before I could submit it my computer 'froze.' I had to reboot the machine and by that point was too tired to recreate it.

In that post I was very upbeat. Since then, however, I have had a very bad experience. Friday afternoon at around 4 PM, as I was slowing to stop at a red light, a drunk driver plowed into the back of my car. I had enough sense to memorize his license plate number as he fled the scene.

Turns out, he chose a dead end for his escape. The police, who arrived quickly, nabbed him. I soon got the news about his intoxication.

The force of his pickup striking my car caused a chain reaction that damaged the two vehicles in front of me. Both the rear and front ends of my car were badly crumpled. I could not open the driver's side door. Not a good sign! I was in a daze and there were small pieces of glass all over me. Hours later, I found there was glass inside my underwear. Altogether, ten people were involved. I was the only one, though, with possible injuries. I had been using my seat belt, as always.

I have never been a patient in an ambulance before and I was surprised they were using the sirens as we drove to a hospital about 12 minutes away. After we got to the emergency room, a doctor checked my neck and my badly gouged knees. A technician took X-rays of my right knee, which had carpet fragments in it in addition to some glass. All of the tests came out fine, and I consider myself very fortunate.

By early this afternoon, I started to develop bruises on several extremities. My upper left arm must have struck the steering wheel. The same may have happened with my right thigh. My neck is starting to hurt a lot from whiplash.

In the moments after the accident, I remember thinking "What else can go wrong?" Being unemployed is bad enough. I had been hoping to get another 80,000 miles on my car. I have never had a major problem with it and within the last 2 months had spent over $1,200 on routine maintenance (the engine timing belt) and getting the reverse lights working. For the latter, some type of switch needed to be replaced.

I also remember thinking "I've got to get a rental car right away so I can get to my electrolysis appointment Sunday."

Now, I need to buy a car. It will be a used model. In the meantime, my insurance is covering a rental car. It is a very nice Volvo with a satellite phone and all sorts of switches and knobs for things I will likely not use before I get my own car.

Here it is, early Saturday evening, and I am starting to feel really down about the accident. The pain I have is not helping my mood.

[gareth19 (imported)]

Danya,

I am glad you were wearing a seatbelt and avoided more serious injuries. It is a shame that this post contained such bad news. Many of us enjoy your posts and appreciate hearing now and again from you.

Your insurance company should also be trying to recover damages for pain and suffering for you. After all the drunk who plowed into to you not only damaged a car but also took away your transportation and compromised your search for employment. There is no excuse for driving drunk.

[kennath7 (imported)]

sorry to hear the bad news , glad you are ok

[Danya (imported)]

Danya,

I am glad you were wearing a seatbelt and avoided more serious injuries. It is a shame that this post contained such bad news. Many of us enjoy your posts and appreciate hearing now and again from you.

Your insurance company should also be trying to recover damages for pain and suffering for you. After all the drunk who plowed into to you not only damaged a car but also took away your transportation and compromised your search for employment. There is no excuse for driving drunk.

Hi gareth19,

Thanks for writing, advice and compliment. I'm surprised at how many people read this thread at least occasionally. Knowing that is very gratifying.

I am doing very well

today. More about that in my next post.

Hugs,

Danya

sorry to hear the bad news , glad you are ok

Hi kennath7,

Thanks for writing a

nd for your thoughts. The whiplash pain is much less today and I am doing very well. I'll find out more about the driver that ran into me when I call the police department on Monday.

Hugs,

Danya

[Danya (imported)]

I am doing very well today. Calls from several archive friends, checking to see that I am OK after the car accident, have helped. These people have all offered excellent advice on the steps I need to take in the wake of the accident.

After my trip to the emergency room, Erica Ann was kind enough to pick me up and drive me home. She then suggested I go out with her and her spouse to Hunter's night club. We stayed until well after 2 AM. It was very good to get out with friends. As always, Erica Ann and her spouse were excellent hostesses. I spent the night at their house, had breakfast in the morning, located the rental car and returned home by early afternoon.

Last night, the shock of the accident left me feeling really down. I was starting to feel that I had made a mistake in moving to the Chicago area. For an hour or two I was even thinking "I hate Chicago!"

Today, I am feeling upbeat again. Four hours of electrolysis this morning contributed to this feeling. Turns out I got very little swelling after the treatment. One's face gets adjusted to the 'broiling of the hair follicles,' as my electrologist put it. I was able to go out to relax this evening with no eye makeup. I used nothing more than a little powder and some blush on my face.

During the electrolysis sessions, I do relaxation exercises to take my mind off the pain of the needle. I almost fell asleep mid-way through today's face work. I also think about the great results I am getting. It's also, strangely perhaps, a time to relax because I can let go of concerns about unemployment while I lie on a very comfortable contraption letting someone else work.

I filled out an involved application for a state position this afternoon. I want to tighten up my responses tonight and send it back to the recruiter. The job is several hours from Chicago and I realized I really do love this city after all. If I take this job it will be, with one exception, the furtherest I have ever lived from a large city.

Filling out the state application was very useful, whether or not I get the job. I was forced to recount, in great detail, all of my accomplishments at various positions over the last 13 years. Last night, I was starting to lose confidence in my abilities. This is not uncommon for people who have been unemployed for months and the car accident contributed to this feeling. It is not, however, a place I can afford to stay in for long. After completing the application, which required short essay responses, I felt renewed confidence.

[gareth19 (imported)]

Today, I am feeling upbeat again. .

Filling out the state application was very useful, whether or not I get the job. I was forced to recount, in great detail, all of my accomplishments at various positions over the last 13 years. Last night, I was starting to lose confidence in my abilities. This is not uncommon for people who have been unemployed for months and the car accident contributed to this feeling. It is not, however, a place I can afford to stay in for long. After completing the application, which required short essay responses, I felt renewed confidence.

I'm glad you are feeling renewed confidence. After a car accident, even when you know it is the other guy's fault, you always find something to blame yourself for. Good that you are not doing that to yourself.