Transitioning at work and in all of my life

[Danya (imported)]

A few here know that over the last few weeks, I've been having a more difficult time of things. This is related to things going on in my life unrelated to transitioning (or only indirectly related.)

I may come back to describe this in more detail at a later date. For now, I want to assert that 'I am back.' Or at least I have good indications that I am feeling back to my normal self as Danya. Meaning my confidence level is returning.

On the way home today, I found myself whistling of all things! The fear of hexes or curses placed on or by whistling women (info provided on this thread in about Sept of last year by Jesus) did not deter me in the slightest.

I also noted the return of my usual interest in anything that might have a chance of making an interesting photograph. Even wild flowers along the interstate highway were catching my eye.

These were minor, though pleasant, distractions and I kept my eyes on the road.

The ultimate 'test' that I passed was something I will need to save for later. It's something I never thought I would want to do again, not that it's that big a deal but it is very significant.

As part of my networking effort, I contacted two professors who knew me from my studies in the early to mid-1990s. This was the first time I let them know about the real me, Danya. I contacted the school months ago to change the name on my transcript.

Both were very supportive and one was relieved. He thought I had 'passed away,' probably because my former name no longer appeared on the alumni list.

In other news, I finally got a few words of encouragement from certain relatives down south. I'd written them a second time in a month to explain my situation and ask for their emotional support.

Today, for the very first time since I announced that I am transgender over 18 months ago, I 'heard' directly from my youngest brother. He sent an email. He did not use my name, nor did he end the note with his, but he expressed his concern.

This may lead to better communication down the road. Let me see, 18 months to give any kind of response to my news of who I am. It's impossible to extrapolate from a single data point. Actually I have two data points, the first being my announcement of who I am. This is still a risky basis for extrapolation. But at this 'rate' (which is not well defined), my brother may finally address me as my true self by the year 2025.

[Danya (imported)]

I'm really looking forward to the Midwest MoM, starting in roughly two weeks. It will be terrific to see folks I met last year, spend time at the Convent (the red nun is a terrific host(ess)), time with the folks in Hudson and time with Erica Ann.

I spent much of this morning researching proper attire for job interviews. There were sites that had photos of women in differing attire with comments from interviewers in different industries. Others just described proper attire and what not to wear.

Men have it easier here than women, although many of the sites mentioned that despite this many men still can't get it right! I am not surprised.

It turns out that as a woman, I don't want to appear too provocative (darn! ). Of course, this makes perfect sense.

Then there's the jewelry advice. Everyone agrees here. Don't overdo it unless you're applying for a position in the fashion industry (sounds like fun) or perhaps in sales. I should stick with small stud earrings if I wear any. Beyond that, a watch (silver in color) and a small ring are OK. Or I could substitute a plain silver bracelet (not yellow gold) for the ring.

If I wear a necklace, it needs to be relatively thin and silver in color.

As for shoes, there was a split between pumps and flats. Of course, the color needs to match the rest of the ensemble. In addition, the shoes should be plain with no buckles or other adornment.

As for panty hose, this is considered essential. Unfortunately, my favorite off-black color won't do. They need to be a neutral shade.

Then there's the clothing. Most seemed to recommend a women's suit with either pants or a fairly long skirt for the types of positions I'm considering. Color choices: black, gray or navy. As for a blouse, more black, gray or navy would do. White or ivory also work.

I don't have such a suit. As I'm trying very hard to save money, I was able to work with some things I already have. I've got a black skirt of the appropriate length. I've got both black and ivory blouses. I figured dressing entirely in black was a bit much, so I'll go with the ivory.

This left me with a suit jacket and shoes. While I've got several pairs of black pumps, I figured I don't want to exaggerate my height.

So I spent some time this afternoon looking for a black jacket and black, flat shoes. I found both heavily marked down at a sale.

I got my car's oil changed yesterday and noted something interesting. If a man drove the car in, the mechanic showed him the new oil level. They did not do this with women!

[mrt (imported)]

First of all my wife asked me to ask you to check in with her. She has not heard from you in a while and worries. Second all this sounds great but now your in a position no man can ever be and your not going to use it? Black nylons are not THAT racy... I say if you got it flaunt it!

[Danya (imported)]

First of all my wife asked me to ask you to check in with her. She has not heard from you in a while and worries. Second all this sounds great but now your in a position no man can ever be and your not going to use it? Black nylons are not THAT racy... I say if you got it flaunt it!

Hi MrT,

Good

to hear from you, my friend. I will

write to your wife. She is very nice.

Did you see the email I sent you this afternoon?

While I have worn black nylons, the ones I usually wear aren't even black-black, but off-black. There is a big difference, at least to woman's eyes!

Hugs,

Danya

[tugon (imported)]

Danya,

Your choice of clothing sounds very professional. My mental image of you right now is of a beautiful and confident woman. Oh and maybe a little naked with so little jewelry. I am teasing as I have never seen you wearing too much.

Oh and I hate when a mechanic does not show the dipstick to me.

Of course I will look forward to news on the job search front. My person is 93 so I can imagine I will be joining in the fun soon. Not by my own hand of course. So I am wishing you and all in their job searches great success.

[Danya (imported)]

Danya,

Your choice of clothing sounds very professional. My mental image of you right now is of a beautiful and confident woman. Oh and maybe a little naked with so little jewelry. I am teasing as I have never seen you wearing too much.

Oh and I hate when a mechanic does not show the dipstick to me.

Of course I will look forward to news on the job search front. My person is 93 so I can imagine I will be joining in the fun soon. Not by my own hand of course. So I am wishing you and all in their job searches great success.

Hi Tugon,

It's always great to hear from you and I enjoyed speakig with you yesterday, as always.

Thanks for your very kind and thoughtful words.

You've got me laughing with your comment on the jewlery I typically wear. In truth, I will need to back off a little for any job interview.

Some of those male mechanics were quite attractive. It was good to see there was a young woman mechanic, too.

I spent most of today on my job search, finishing only at 8:30 PM this evening. Time to relax a bit before bed.

Hugs,

Danya

[Mac (imported)]

Hi Tugon,

...................

I spent most of today on my job search, finishing only at 8:30 PM this evening. Time to relax a bit before bed.

Hugs,

Danya

Hi Danya,

I thought that everything was going well on your job. What happened?

Also, how is your female identity affecting your job search?

[Danya (imported)]

Hi Danya,

I thought that everything was going well on your job. What happened?

Also, how is your female identity affecting your job search?

Hi Mac,

Things have gone well at my job, but it was time for me to move on.

Any major change in life is bound to produce some stress. By now, though, I'm feeling back to my normal self, which is a good place to be.

I've had no evidence that my female identity is affecting my job search. I'm also working on the assumption that it won't. I need to be confident and I am feeling that way now. There's no sense in worrying about things that are beyond my control.

As always, thanks for writing.

Hugs,

Danya

[curious69 (imported)]

Danya,

I'm so sorry to hear of your ordeal with your brother. It's hard to understand those who consider themselves "Christians" yet offer no understanding or acceptance, for they don't really get it.

I am a Christian and I do understand that Our Lord taught us to "Love each other as I have loved you" and "Do not judge, least you be judged." Their beliefs are like an Ala-cart meal. They pick and choose what they care to believe in and disregard the rest that is beyond their tiny souls and minds to accept or understand. Woe be unto them, for they know not what they do.

I know exactly were you're coming from, for I too have suffered the same injustices at the hands of my immediate family.

As I have said before, it's their loss, not yours for they will never allow themselves to get to know the beautiful person you really are.

Be strong and pray for them. Their going to need it!

I certainly agree.. they are hipocrites and they could noy possibly really believe what they saw they do.. otherwise they would be expecting Divine retribution for their false but convientient lip service..

[billiejean789 (imported)]

Seeing a sex therapist is a great idea. Been to several. But none of them could answer my most basic question--Why do I feel the way I do regarding my transgenered status?