Transitioning at work and in all of my life

Danya (imported)
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Re: Transitioning at work and in all of my life

Post by Danya (imported) »

I'm not literally at the office, although I was for much of the day. The main server for one of my systems crashed and I needed to be certain everything was back up before 100 or so users started complaining tomorrow.

I am, however, completing a small amount of work from home as I write.

I know this is likely quite boring information to most of you. It helps me, though, to write it down. It also gives me a record of my life.

On to other, more pleasant things.

I've been asked to play the pipe organ twice in June, at my home congregation. I may have mentioned this before.

What I have not 'noted' :) is what I am considering playing. Today was Pentecost Sunday, the celebration of the coming of the Holy Spirit to the Apostles and the end of the Easter season.

Next Sunday will be my first June engagement as organist, the first Sunday after Pentecost. Still an appropriate time to play Pentecost music. I will likely play a rather wild piece called "Come, Holy Ghost". The title isn't a big surprise but the people will sit up and listen when I play this. It is very modern, quite fast and borders on atonality towards the end. It's also a bit of a challenge to play but I've done it before.

Then I'm considering "Caricature of 'Jesus Loves Me'" for the offertory music (the time when they collect the money - I was going to write loot instead of money, I'm just in a strange mood tonight 😄). This was written by a respected composer of church music but it does sound a bit strange. I'm sure they'll love it. ;)

Now I need to come up with something equally unusual for the postlude. I'm sure I'll think of something.

The co-pastors are aware that, although I consider myself very spiritual, my religious beliefs tend to stray quite a bit off the well-trod path of the Christian soldiers. That is, the traditional church. Then again, so do theirs. I am not criticizing anyone's beliefs here but merely stating where I am at. And there are aspects of traditional Christianity that I love. Then there are parts of Zen Buddhism that I value, and... well, you get the point.

Part of my own particular spiritual outlook is for self-preservation. While my church certainly identifies itself as Christian, it tends to follow a more radical path than some others. It openly welcomes GLBT people and all minorities without reservation. At times, it has facilitated this welcome by means that have gone against the wishes of the national church body. It was the first church of this denomination in the USA to openly declare a welcome for GLBT people and continues to lead in this area.

I will play again the last Sunday of June, which is Pride Sunday here. Perhaps I will wear my fire engine red dress with the black stripes, with black nylons and 4" inch heels for that service. No one will mind. This will certainly make me stand out, since the organ is at the front of the congregation and I will be in full view of everyone. I will have to replace my heels with my organ shoes to play. 😄 None will doubt that I am proud to be who I am.

Last September, when I submitted the application at court to legally change my name, I exited the court house whistling. After a few bars, I stopped, wondering if it were appropriate for a woman to whistle. In a few seconds, I decided it didn't matter, I enjoyed whistling so be it. Only later did I learn from a poster here (Jesus) that whistling women have had bad reputations, at least in 'years gone by.' I am a modern woman, though, so I did not fear any hex or curse.

Last week, I found myself loudly snapping my fingers because I was feeling confident and happy. The idea that this was not feminine briefly crossed my mind, but I gave it no heed. If I want to snap my fingers, I will. I do not know if there are any hexes that I need fear for this, but I am not afraid. :)

The point is, there is a lot of freedom in being transgender. Even as a transsexual woman, I do not need to allow myself to be defined by stereotypes of how women behave. At the same time, I enjoy behaving like the woman I am. But I define what this means to me.

That brings up my next subject. I've mentioned before that I no longer enjoy watching science fiction movies. There is one exception: "Star Trek."

I was tense when I finally left the office today and I thought I'd go to the Arboretum. There were dark thunder clouds in that direction, so I decided to stop by the Mall of Disaster, Dastardly Deeds, Doom, Downfall and Death instead. At least I'd be out of the rain. Then I remembered "Star Trek."

I haven't been to a movie theater in months and the last time I used a free pass. I made an exception this evening and shelled out the outrageous ticket price of $9.50 for the film.

I went even further. I bought popcorn, raisinettes and something called 'Sierra Mist', which probably is not produced in the Golden State. I have not bought refreshments at a theater in at least a year. This does not mean I am abandoning my tight budget, just that I really needed a break.

So, I entered the nearly empty theater, found a seat and waited for the show. I don't know if advertisers are saving money or what, but there were no advertisements before the previews. This was curiously refreshing! 😄

Instead, they projected a solid bright red onto the screen. Quite an appropriate color for this mall, as some would see it. 😄

I was thrilled to catch a preview of the new Harry Potter movie that arrives in July. Although I am no longer a big fan of (most) science fiction, I still love fantasy.

One of the reasons I went to see Star Trek was the handsome young leads playing Spock and Captain Kirk. This was depicting a time before the beginning of the TV series of long ago.

I loved this movie. I agree with a friend here that there was an awful lot of violence. But I figure, "Hey, there are bad guys and gals in outer space" so violence is bound to happen. There are also, as portrayed in Star Trek, good non-human types in the far reaches of the galaxy.

This violence just happened to involve some things I found quite interesting, like artificial singularities or near singularities (small black holes). By their nature, these do some very nasty things.

I found it a little disconcerting that when the Enterprise engaged its warp drive, someone soon announced that they were only minutes from reaching their destination. I do not remember things being quite that fast before. Of course, times change. But wait, this was supposed to show events that occurred before the episodes of the original series.

I've done some computer graphics of my own, and I can enjoy seeing the special effects and imagining how the graphics people got all that to work.

The young Spock and Kirk did not disappoint. :D

There were other parts of the movie that resonated with me. Like love, seeking peace among remote and very alien cultures, advancing the frontiers of science and the prime directive (although that's probably more of an Isaac Asimov robot thing!).

What really got to me was these handsome men (and women - I was looking at the men) defending their shipmates, sometimes giving up their own lives so others would live. More particularly, I wanted a handsome man of my own to defend me from something mundane: certain coworkers! 😄

I can do that quite well on my own, but the thought of having a strong man by my side really gets me going. He should be an excellent kisser, too, just as a certain unlikely character was in Star Trek.

What started out as a weekend free of work, wound up with my putting out fires most of the time. The movie got me out of myself and I relaxed.

The job I had running at the office has finished. Now I can relax before bed.
kennath7 (imported)
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Re: Transitioning at work and in all of my life

Post by kennath7 (imported) »

Star trek is classic loved that movie as well it kind of pieced together a few of the older series which brought me back to the good old days

And there is the star war episodes other than that I have lost interest in sci fi

I wonder is sci-fi a t thing ?

Glad to here all is good for you, play well
John (imported)
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Re: Transitioning at work and in all of my life

Post by John (imported) »

Hi Danya!

As you have been playing those two very modern pieces earlier in the service, what about turning 180 degrees and play Veni Creator Spiritus or some other of the classical latin hymns for Pentacost?

Greetings

Ingemar
Danya (imported)
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Re: Transitioning at work and in all of my life

Post by Danya (imported) »

kennath7 (imported) wrote: Tue Jun 02, 2009 10:37 am Star trek is classic loved that movie as well it kind of pieced together a few of the older series which brought me back to the good old days

And there is the star war episodes other than that I have lost interest in sci fi

I wonder is sci-fi a t thing ?

Glad to here all is good for you, play well

Hi Kennath7,

I also liked the way the new Star Trek movie brought together some parts of the old series. Although it's style is very different from any of the other Trek movies, I thoroughly enjoyed it.

I haven't watched any of the Star Wars movies in several years. I've got them all on DVD and I've considered giving them away, because I generally do not like sci-fi anymore. I'll give them one more try before I do that.

Other sci-fi things I'v
John (imported) wrote: Tue Jun 02, 2009 12:41 pm e seen lately don't appeal to me at all.

Hugs,

Danya

Hi Danya!

As you have been playing those two very modern pieces earlier in the service, what about turning 180 degrees and play Veni Creator Spiritus or some other of the
classical latin hymns for Pentacost?

Greetings

Ingemar

Hi John,

'Veni Creator Spiritus' is one of my favorite ancient Latin plainsongs. I looked through my music and I've got several arrangements of it. I didn't feel that any of these really did it justice.

I was very tempted to choose a gorgeous set of variations on another ancient plainsong melody: 'Divinum Mysterium', otherwise known as 'Of the Father's Love Begotten.' If this were the Christmas season, I definitely would have chosen it. I've been known to play it at other times of the year. This is high on my list of all time favorites.

Hugs,

Danya
Danya (imported)
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Re: Transitioning at work and in all of my life

Post by Danya (imported) »

I saw my gender therapist today and I had a good time speaking with her.

Over the months I've been meeting with her, I've described the types of photos I enjoy taking. She paid me a very nice compliment when she told me she has started to look at flowers and other small objects in a new way. She now looks at them very closely to appreciate the details and she thinks of me when she is doing this.

She also told me of a soon to be available organist/music director position at a very welcoming church in the same denomination as my own. It happens that I know the retiring organist and I've had dinner with her several times, before I became 'me'. I'll check into this opening and see if I can offer what they want. Unless they split up her responsibilities, though, I think they'll be looking for someone full-time. Although I would love that kind of job, it would not pay anything approaching what I make in my current position. I can't afford to make less because of my debts.

One of the pastors of my own church called today. He reiterated something he's stated before. He said he's sure we'll get to work together a lot more. He didn't mean "Me Tarzan, you Jane." 😄 He expects that I'll be playing the pipe organ more reguarly there. I'm not sure what the regular organist thinks about this, though I know she is feeling overwhelmed. Both pastors have suggested she needs someone to help out regularly. This is another potential source of income.

I realized something today that's probably been fairly obvious to people who know me reasonably well. Since officially becoming Danya, most particularly over the last six months, I am much more social and talkative. I'm also much more willing to accept help with my tasks. I have much less desire to totally control all the responsibilities that are chiefly mine. This is healthy.

Yet I remain extremely competitive. I do not like failing to deliver everything asked of me. It doesn't matter that I already have more work than I can handle.

This morning, I put my 4" heeled foot down and demanded more assistance with my work. Everyone involved agreed! I've already made arrangements for this that were approved. Nonetheless, I still worked until 8 PM this evening. Already since Saturday, I've put in about 54 hours this week. I need to break out of this thinking and strive for more normal work conditions.
tugon (imported)
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Re: Transitioning at work and in all of my life

Post by tugon (imported) »

Danya (imported) wrote: Fri Jun 05, 2009 7:33 pm This morning, I put my 4" heeled foot down and demanded more assistance with my work.

6" heels and a whip and they would be begging to help.
John (imported)
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Re: Transitioning at work and in all of my life

Post by John (imported) »

Danya (imported) wrote: Fri Jun 05, 2009 7:11 pm Hi John,

'Veni Creator Spiritus' is one of my favorite ancient Latin plainsongs. I looked through my music and I've got several arrangements of it. I didn't feel that any of these really did it justice.

I was very tempted to choose a gorgeous set of variations on another ancient plainsong melody: 'Divinum Mysterium', otherwise known as 'Of the Father's Love Begotten.' If this were the Christmas season, I definitely would have chosen it. I've been known to play it at other times of the year. This is high on my list of all time favorites.

Hugs,

Danya

Hi! Could it be that "Divinum Mysterium" is a piece by Saint Hildegard of Bingen?

Greetings

John
Danya (imported)
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Re: Transitioning at work and in all of my life

Post by Danya (imported) »

John (imported) wrote: Sat Jun 06, 2009 11:32 am Hi! Could it be that "Divinum Mysterium" is a piece by Saint Hildegard of Bingen?

Greetings

John

Hi John,

The words typically associated with 'Divinum Mysterium' are from the 5th century Spaniard Aurelius Clemens Prudentius. The plainsong (plainchant) melody is from the 11th century.

Saint Hildegard was born at the very end of the 11th century, in 1098 according the Fordham University web site. She died late in 1179, in the 12th century.

So she lived at a time too late to be responsible for either the words or the music for 'Divinum Mysterium'. On the Fordham University site, I could find no connection between her and this plainsong.

Hugs,

Danya
Danya (imported)
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Re: Transitioning at work and in all of my life

Post by Danya (imported) »

tugon (imported) wrote: Fri Jun 05, 2009 8:17 pm 6" heels and a whip and they would be begging to help.

Hi Tugon,
Danya (imported) wrote: Wed Jul 09, 2008 8:50 am It's always good to hear from you.
I like your idea! 😄

As we discussed earlier this evening, I'll be putting my foot down again Monday. They're still not fulling comprehending what I'm saying.

What I forgot to mention was at least my boss is now admitting that I'm the expert. He's starting to accept my word for how long tasks will take even if he's not happy about it.

Hugs,

Danya
punkypink (imported)
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Re: Transitioning at work and in all of my life

Post by punkypink (imported) »

Danya you've really got a great eye for detail that is apparent in your pictures. The level of detail, the way it's framed, its all just right. You could open your very own hallmark line even 😄
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