I'm feeling very alone this evening and I'm not sure why. It's got me kind of down, actually.
Speaking with an Archive friend helped a lot. After we spoke, though, this feeling of being alone and, really, unloved, returned. I don't usually feel this way so I am concerned.
My English trans friend says I need an 'Erica Ann' where I live. She's right.
I got a lot of exercise today, which I had been neglecting (foolishly) because of the demands of my job. I spent several hours walking at the arboretum, where I took close to 180 photos of early spring flowers. This did not help me feel better. The fact that I took so many photos may have worsened my mental state.
As usual, I did not mind sitting and even lying on the ground to get the best camera shots. Unusually for me, I wore slacks today just so I could get in these positions. I've never noticed anyone else going to these lengths to get photos at the Arboretum. The employees seem to understand. Flowers really have little desire to attract the attention of humans, after all. They want to lure pollinators. So the most interesting parts of the flowers may not be visible at standing height. At one point, a young woman passed as I was almost on my back, looking through the camera down the throat of a blossom a few inches from the lens. She asked "What are you doing?" I thought this would be obvious. I just smiled at her.
I have a few ideas ab
Danya (imported) wrote: Sun Apr 27, 2008 5:48 pm
out what's going on in my head.
I need to sort through those to set things right.
Now that I have let go of some of the mental energy I needed to keep up with work, my body has decided to become more demanding. It wants more sleep and exercise. I know I need these, but I'm reluctant to 'waste' time on more sleep than I have been used to getting. Exercise....I will spend time on this because I know it helps me feel better.
I'm not in a good place tonight at all, but I am certain I will recover.