Danya, good to see ya,
I often thought that if I was a woman I would stay home and play with my breasts all day. Men on the other hand, so to speak, want to stay home and play with something else all day.
What I am getting to is that it is revealing that your evolving transition shows you are really getting a grip on the true feelings of feminity, and that my sense that women would tend to do so was prescient.
Continued thanks for Danya's precious diary de la femme.
-NienNaziYahLittleNuts
P.S. I hope you continue to feel good -- in all ways.
Transitioning at work and in all of my life
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NaziNuts (imported)
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Danya (imported)
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Re: Transitioning at work and in all of my life
Hi NN,
Long time no 'see'.
Thanks for your observations and good wishes.
I feel extremely feminine, so it bugs me even more when a particular male colleague persists in referring to me as 'he'. For months, he didn't use any pronouns when talking about me. Until this last week. The next time this happens, I'll respond with something like 'who are you talking about?'.
I don't think he's doing this deliberately. He was very supportive
Hugs,
Danya
Long time no 'see'.
Thanks for your observations and good wishes.I feel extremely feminine, so it bugs me even more when a particular male colleague persists in referring to me as 'he'. For months, he didn't use any pronouns when talking about me. Until this last week. The next time this happens, I'll respond with something like 'who are you talking about?'.
I don't think he's doing this deliberately. He was very supportive
at the office. Nonetheless, eight months have passed since that day so it's past time he got this right.
Hugs,
Danya
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Danya (imported)
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Re: Transitioning at work and in all of my life
I already posted some comments about my visit on Erica Ann's 'Decision Made and Going for It' thread. Now I want to elaborate on what made this visit so wonderful. This was my first chance to meet Erica Ann and her spouse, Ellen.
My Friday trip started with the announcement that my flight to Chicago would be delayed 50 minutes. President Obama and his family were flying into Chicago, so the arrival Air Force One had thrown many other flights off schedule. I didn't waste the extra waiting time sitting around, however. This was my first flight since I transitioned to full- time living as a woman, and I was very excited. I spent much of my time at the airport walking the concourses (I wanted to be seen) , talking to merchants and smiling at children. In some ways, my time at the airport was similar to my first outing as Danya. That was several months before I transitioned, on a 2 1/2 hour outing at the Mall of Death (otherwise known as the Mall of America.) I had called a certain person here, who goes by the name Jesus, from the mall to share my excitement. For the first time, I felt like part of humanity rather than an observer. My airport experience was similar.
I love airports and flying. All kinds of adventures can await at oft-visited and new destinations. I was excited to get away from home and my stressful job for a few days.
Being on the plane as me, Danya, was wonderful. Everyone treated me well. The couple sitting next to me spoke German and I could understand part of what they were saying.
I had just gotten off the plane at O'Hare when Erica Ann called. She is such a sweetie! We confirmed that I would let her know what door I would exit from the United Airlines terminal.
I enjoyed the long walk from the gate to baggage claim. A long section of the concourse ceiling was festooned with glowing lights in all colors of the rainbow. I felt like a celebrity arriving in town.
Unbelievably, my luggage was waiting in baggage claim when I got there. United, and many other carriers, now charge $15 each way for a checked bag. I had wondered if this meant there was less chance of lost luggage. Probably not.
I exited the terminal and phoned Erica Ann. She pulled up shortly and we met for the first time! I could hardly believe this was happening. We've spoken many times on the phone and she has sent me photos. She had always claimed she looked better in person and I found that it's true! I thought she looked great in her photos, but they do not do her justice.
Erica Ann then treated me to a wonderful Italian dinner with drinks. We discussed our next stop, Hunters Night Club, a popular GLBT spot. Our waitress, Allison, is married and knew all about Hunters. She's been there before. She said her husband wouldn't mind her going because he would know she'd be 'safe' among the particular folks who frequent the club.
After dinner, Erica Ann and I stopped in the women's rest room where she shared some lip gloss with me. Did I mention how sweet she is?
Then we were off to Hunters. This is a terrific club. It is well-appointed with a modern interior, great lighting effects and a wonderful sound system. Then there were the 6 - 8 bartenders, all but one of them gay. Several were quite hunky.
We stayed at the bar quite late. It was a fascinating, fun place with quite a few transgender folks. Some were cross dressers, others transsexuals. Erica Ann, who seemed to know 3/4 of the people there, minimum, introduced me to a number of her friends.
Several times, I strolled over to the dance floor where I grooved to the pounding music as I admired the shirtless male dancers. I was still unwinding from a stressful work week.
Saturday morning, I was awakened by a phone call from Erica Ann. She seemed remarkably perky after our late night outing.
After I showered I discovered something truly awful.
I'd left some of the clothes I wanted to wear, half my makeup and one of my prescriptions at home! I never before have forgotten more than one thing on a trip. This was my first as Danya, though, and I learned a lesson. It takes more preparation, as a woman, to pack properly.
Erica Ann was very helpful when she heard the news. We stopped at Walgreens where I picked up the items I needed. Of course, nothing there could replace my missing clothes.:-\
Then we drove to her house, which she designed herself. Her educational background is in architecture. The house is beautiful, as I saw on the grand tour.
This was also my chance to meet Ellen. She is a remarkable woman who has gained a tremendous knowledge of transsexual women, their family issues and many other related things. This is not terribly surprising, since she is married to Erica Ann. What made her delightful, though, was her obvious love for Erica Ann for exactly the woman she is. It was a treat to watch the two of them interacting. They mesh very well.
Ellen also extended her caring attitude to me, quite freely and liberally. Ellen is an attractive woman, too.
After eating lunch at their home, we were off to downtown Chicago. Erica Ann drove with Ellen navigating. Chicago is one of my favorite cities. As soon as I was able to make out the skyline, I started to get excited. We went to the Adler Planetarium, where we saw a show and toured the facility. The view of downtown from the planetarium is stunning, and one I have appreciated before. The waters of Lake Michigan separated us from the lakeside parks, and beyond those the imposing towers of the city. Chicago is, literally, 'my kind of town.' I love very large cities.
After exiting the planetarium building, we drove into the heart of the city. We went by many buildings I have walked near on hikes through downtown Chicago. I saw many familiar things that got me even more excited. Like the huge Picasso sculpture in front of the civic center. No one can agree on what this artwork represents. Some say it looks like a horse, others a woman, yet others an angel. Kids are known to enjoy sliding down its base.
I knew the names of some of the buildings we passed. I've always been interested in architecture and Chicago has lots of great examples. Erica Ann added to the fun of our drive through downtown by explaining the architectural fine points behind the construction of many of the buildings. I was impressed, we had our own very knowledgeable tour guide right in the car!
Erica Ann and Ellen took me to Pizzeria Uno, the original one, where deep-dish pizza was invented in 1943. We had a wonderful meal. Only later did we find out that 30 minutes after we left the restaurant, the President and his family ate at another 3 blocks away.
After we made our way out of the city through very heavy traffic....wait, I forgot to mention that we passed even more buildings that I know. Like Marina City, the Water Tower (one of the few downtown structures to escape the Great Chicago Fire) and others. We traveled many streets I have been on before, like Michigan Avenue and Lakeshore Drive (earlier in the day).
So, we made it out of the city. As we were driving back, Erica Ann and Ellen discussed going to Hunters that evening. I was feeling exhausted and was about ready to say I would stay at my hotel and sleep. I would have been really disappointed, though, to miss Hunters again. We worked out an arrangement where I would have a chance to nap and drink plenty of coffee before they picked me up from my hotel.
When they called to be certain I wanted to go, I was ready for action. Off we all went to Hunters.
I had even more fun my second evening there. Now I was very relaxed. Unlike Friday evening, I danced. I had no more than two drinks when I went to the dance floor, so I wasn't heavily intoxicated. Nonetheless, I was quite uninhibited. I danced with men and women, and I was in fairly intimate contact with some. At times, I twirled light sticks as I danced. I never enjoyed dancing as a man. Saturday night I quite easily got into the mood and spirit of it all. I had a blast.
Once again, we were out very late. That was fine, though. I had a great time talking with Erica Ann and Ellen and some of their friends. It was really cool being among so many transgender folks, too.
One of Erica Ann's friends treated me to a martini. This same friend treated several of us to shots of a chocolate liqueur that was quite tasty.
When Erica Ann and Ellen dropped me at my hotel, I practically fell into bed. I was exhausted but slept very well.
Sunday was a bittersweet time. I was looking forward, at least a little (well, not all that much really!), to returning home. I had enjoyed my visit so much, particularly the chance to get to know Erica Ann and Ellen and have fun together, that I didn't want to leave.
I was feeling a little down when Erica Ann picked me up to drive me to O'Hare
I am incredibly fortunate to have had the chance to spend so much time with Erica Ann. She is a wonderful, caring woman. I am delighted to have her friendship.
Hugs to all,
Danya
My Friday trip started with the announcement that my flight to Chicago would be delayed 50 minutes. President Obama and his family were flying into Chicago, so the arrival Air Force One had thrown many other flights off schedule. I didn't waste the extra waiting time sitting around, however. This was my first flight since I transitioned to full- time living as a woman, and I was very excited. I spent much of my time at the airport walking the concourses (I wanted to be seen) , talking to merchants and smiling at children.
In some ways, my time at the airport was similar to my first outing as Danya. That was several months before I transitioned, on a 2 1/2 hour outing at the Mall of Death (otherwise known as the Mall of America.) I had called a certain person here, who goes by the name Jesus, from the mall to share my excitement. For the first time, I felt like part of humanity rather than an observer. My airport experience was similar.I love airports and flying. All kinds of adventures can await at oft-visited and new destinations. I was excited to get away from home and my stressful job for a few days.
Being on the plane as me, Danya, was wonderful. Everyone treated me well. The couple sitting next to me spoke German and I could understand part of what they were saying.
I had just gotten off the plane at O'Hare when Erica Ann called. She is such a sweetie! We confirmed that I would let her know what door I would exit from the United Airlines terminal.
I enjoyed the long walk from the gate to baggage claim. A long section of the concourse ceiling was festooned with glowing lights in all colors of the rainbow. I felt like a celebrity arriving in town.
Unbelievably, my luggage was waiting in baggage claim when I got there. United, and many other carriers, now charge $15 each way for a checked bag. I had wondered if this meant there was less chance of lost luggage. Probably not.
I exited the terminal and phoned Erica Ann. She pulled up shortly and we met for the first time! I could hardly believe this was happening. We've spoken many times on the phone and she has sent me photos. She had always claimed she looked better in person and I found that it's true! I thought she looked great in her photos, but they do not do her justice.
Erica Ann then treated me to a wonderful Italian dinner with drinks. We discussed our next stop, Hunters Night Club, a popular GLBT spot. Our waitress, Allison, is married and knew all about Hunters. She's been there before. She said her husband wouldn't mind her going because he would know she'd be 'safe' among the particular folks who frequent the club.
After dinner, Erica Ann and I stopped in the women's rest room where she shared some lip gloss with me. Did I mention how sweet she is?
Then we were off to Hunters. This is a terrific club. It is well-appointed with a modern interior, great lighting effects and a wonderful sound system. Then there were the 6 - 8 bartenders, all but one of them gay. Several were quite hunky.
We stayed at the bar quite late. It was a fascinating, fun place with quite a few transgender folks. Some were cross dressers, others transsexuals. Erica Ann, who seemed to know 3/4 of the people there, minimum, introduced me to a number of her friends.
Several times, I strolled over to the dance floor where I grooved to the pounding music as I admired the shirtless male dancers. I was still unwinding from a stressful work week.
Saturday morning, I was awakened by a phone call from Erica Ann. She seemed remarkably perky after our late night outing.
After I showered I discovered something truly awful.
I'd left some of the clothes I wanted to wear, half my makeup and one of my prescriptions at home! I never before have forgotten more than one thing on a trip. This was my first as Danya, though, and I learned a lesson. It takes more preparation, as a woman, to pack properly.Erica Ann was very helpful when she heard the news. We stopped at Walgreens where I picked up the items I needed. Of course, nothing there could replace my missing clothes.:-\
Then we drove to her house, which she designed herself. Her educational background is in architecture. The house is beautiful, as I saw on the grand tour.
This was also my chance to meet Ellen. She is a remarkable woman who has gained a tremendous knowledge of transsexual women, their family issues and many other related things. This is not terribly surprising, since she is married to Erica Ann.
What made her delightful, though, was her obvious love for Erica Ann for exactly the woman she is. It was a treat to watch the two of them interacting. They mesh very well.Ellen also extended her caring attitude to me, quite freely and liberally. Ellen is an attractive woman, too.
After eating lunch at their home, we were off to downtown Chicago. Erica Ann drove with Ellen navigating. Chicago is one of my favorite cities. As soon as I was able to make out the skyline, I started to get excited. We went to the Adler Planetarium, where we saw a show and toured the facility. The view of downtown from the planetarium is stunning, and one I have appreciated before. The waters of Lake Michigan separated us from the lakeside parks, and beyond those the imposing towers of the city. Chicago is, literally, 'my kind of town.' I love very large cities.
After exiting the planetarium building, we drove into the heart of the city. We went by many buildings I have walked near on hikes through downtown Chicago. I saw many familiar things that got me even more excited. Like the huge Picasso sculpture in front of the civic center. No one can agree on what this artwork represents. Some say it looks like a horse, others a woman, yet others an angel. Kids are known to enjoy sliding down its base.
I knew the names of some of the buildings we passed. I've always been interested in architecture and Chicago has lots of great examples. Erica Ann added to the fun of our drive through downtown by explaining the architectural fine points behind the construction of many of the buildings. I was impressed, we had our own very knowledgeable tour guide right in the car!
Erica Ann and Ellen took me to Pizzeria Uno, the original one, where deep-dish pizza was invented in 1943. We had a wonderful meal. Only later did we find out that 30 minutes after we left the restaurant, the President and his family ate at another 3 blocks away.
After we made our way out of the city through very heavy traffic....wait, I forgot to mention that we passed even more buildings that I know. Like Marina City, the Water Tower (one of the few downtown structures to escape the Great Chicago Fire) and others. We traveled many streets I have been on before, like Michigan Avenue and Lakeshore Drive (earlier in the day).
So, we made it out of the city. As we were driving back, Erica Ann and Ellen discussed going to Hunters that evening. I was feeling exhausted and was about ready to say I would stay at my hotel and sleep. I would have been really disappointed, though, to miss Hunters again. We worked out an arrangement where I would have a chance to nap and drink plenty of coffee before they picked me up from my hotel.
When they called to be certain I wanted to go, I was ready for action.
Off we all went to Hunters.I had even more fun my second evening there. Now I was very relaxed. Unlike Friday evening, I danced. I had no more than two drinks when I went to the dance floor, so I wasn't heavily intoxicated. Nonetheless, I was quite uninhibited. I danced with men and women, and I was in fairly intimate contact with some. At times, I twirled light sticks as I danced. I never enjoyed dancing as a man. Saturday night I quite easily got into the mood and spirit of it all. I had a blast.
Once again, we were out very late. That was fine, though. I had a great time talking with Erica Ann and Ellen and some of their friends. It was really cool being among so many transgender folks, too.
One of Erica Ann's friends treated me to a martini. This same friend treated several of us to shots of a chocolate liqueur that was quite tasty.
When Erica Ann and Ellen dropped me at my hotel, I practically fell into bed. I was exhausted but slept very well.
Sunday was a bittersweet time. I was looking forward, at least a little (well, not all that much really!), to returning home. I had enjoyed my visit so much, particularly the chance to get to know Erica Ann and Ellen and have fun together, that I didn't want to leave.
I was feeling a little down when Erica Ann picked me up to drive me to O'Hare
on the way.
I am incredibly fortunate to have had the chance to spend so much time with Erica Ann. She is a wonderful, caring woman. I am delighted to have her friendship.
Hugs to all,
Danya
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lilac (imported)
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Re: Transitioning at work and in all of my life
Wow! I am so happy you got to go to meet Erica Ann and Ellen. 
You had a very busy and unforgetable weekend I see. That is so wonderful Danya. I would love to vist Hunters. Sounds like fun.
Can't wait to see you all again. Hopefully I can make it to Minn. We will see how things go by then.
Big Hugs, Lilac
You had a very busy and unforgetable weekend I see. That is so wonderful Danya. I would love to vist Hunters. Sounds like fun.
Can't wait to see you all again. Hopefully I can make it to Minn. We will see how things go by then.
Big Hugs, Lilac
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Danya (imported)
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Re: Transitioning at work and in all of my life
Hi Lilac,
I'm flattered that you took the time to read my long post on my visit with Erica Ann and Ellen. It was truly a wonderful weekend. My life continues to get better in ways I never imagined. I am blessed by the many wonderful people who have entered my life.
It's good to hear from you, sweetie. I hope you make it out here again this year.
Hugs,
Danya
I'm flattered that you took the time to read my long post on my visit with Erica Ann and Ellen. It was truly a wonderful weekend. My life continues to get better in ways I never imagined. I am blessed by the many wonderful people who have entered my life.
It's good to hear from you, sweetie. I hope you make it out here again this year.
Hugs,
Danya
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paulault (imported)
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Re: Transitioning at work and in all of my life
Danya, i too read your post about your trip and bet both you and Erica Ann have many good memories that will last a lifetime, i try to read most of your posts because it inspires me to keep moving forward with my own transition, even though I'm not ft and probably won't be till next year, i do have the support of my stepfather and best friend who other than my doctors know about Paula so far. I am moving at a slower pace than i would like but I'm trying to make the transition as easy on others as i can in hopes of being better accepted. If my schedule permits i would love to attend a MOM and meet the many wonderful people on this board.
Paula.
Paula.
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Danya (imported)
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Re: Transitioning at work and in all of my life
Hi Paula,
I really appreciate your comments and I'm glad some of what I write helps you. As a friend on here has noted, helping others is one of the things that brings me much happiness.
It makes me happy to know you have some support, dear one. That makes a huge difference. I will respond more sometime Saturday. First, I need to come down from an incredible high.
I just received a powerful, supportive letter from two wonderful people I have known since I was in college. I have not felt this overwhelmed with emotions since I started my adventure. Some of you may know that's saying quite a lot. I need to take some time to write down, just for me, what this letter means.
Hugs,
Danya
Paula.
I really appreciate your comments and I'm glad some of what I write helps you. As a friend on here has noted, helping others is one of the things that brings me much happiness.
It makes me happy to know you have some support, dear one. That makes a huge difference. I will respond more sometime Saturday. First, I need to come down from an incredible high.
I just received a powerful, supportive letter from two wonderful people I have known since I was in college. I have not felt this overwhelmed with emotions since I started my adventure. Some of you may know that's saying quite a lot. I need to take some time to write down, just for me, what this letter means.
Hugs,
Danya
paulault (imported) wrote: Sat Feb 21, 2009 7:24 am Danya, i too read your post about your trip and bet both you and Erica Ann have many good memories that will last a lifetime, i try to read most of your posts because it inspires me to keep moving forward with my own transition, even though I'm not ft and probably won't be till next year, i do have the support of my stepfather and best friend who other than my doctors know about Paula so far. I am moving at a slower pace than i would like but I'm trying to make the transition as easy on others as i can in hopes of being better accepted. If my schedule permits i would love to attend a MOM and meet the many wonderful people on this board.
Paula.
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Danya (imported)
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Re: Transitioning at work and in all of my life
In today's mail, I received a wonderful letter of support from two friends I have known since my college days. Back then, the now retired minister husband was pastor of my home church.
He and his wife have stood by my through every phase of my life. From single bachelorhood, through my 20-year marriage and divorce, into my 'gay period' and finally today reaching out to me with incredible love and understanding on learning of my transsexuality.
I have not been this overwhelmed by my emotions since I transitioned to full-time last May. I have been sobbing, out of joy, since I opened their letter 20 minutes ago.
I may share parts of the letter here. For now, I need to type it out. My friend's writing is, in places, difficult to decipher.
He and his wife have stood by my through every phase of my life. From single bachelorhood, through my 20-year marriage and divorce, into my 'gay period' and finally today reaching out to me with incredible love and understanding on learning of my transsexuality.
I have not been this overwhelmed by my emotions since I transitioned to full-time last May. I have been sobbing, out of joy, since I opened their letter 20 minutes ago.
I may share parts of the letter here. For now, I need to type it out. My friend's writing is, in places, difficult to decipher.
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Danya (imported)
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Re: Transitioning at work and in all of my life
I don't know what else to say, for now, other than at last I have the life I was meant to live. And it still seems an impossibility to me, someone who lived a partial existence for decades. I am certain few people who have known me over the years would recognize who I am now, and I am not referring to the physical changes.
For a time this evening, I tried to imagine how my life could possibly be any better. I have performed this mental exercise several times since my May, 2008 transition to who I am. I always concluded that I had reached the apex of happiness and that I could not remain in that state. Instead, new surprises in people, new friends, pleasures and the recognition of the many possibilities yet available to this 57 year old continue to confound my prediction.
My life is enriched by the people here, in an ongoing process that still surprises me in unexpected ways. My non-virtual existence is similarly expanding.
I will share just a few words of what my retired Lutheran pastor friend wrote to me, in the letter I received today. He was responding to the news of 'me' in my Christmas letter. I'll leave out the more personal parts.
He was sharing the joy he felt not only for me, but also for others who make their way, at last, to who they really are. Whatever that entails.
"Good! Good for you now. Good for all the others"
"Sprouting wings and taking off."
"May the impossible dream - surprises still, go on for you."
Hugs,
Danya
For a time this evening, I tried to imagine how my life could possibly be any better. I have performed this mental exercise several times since my May, 2008 transition to who I am. I always concluded that I had reached the apex of happiness and that I could not remain in that state. Instead, new surprises in people, new friends, pleasures and the recognition of the many possibilities yet available to this 57 year old continue to confound my prediction.
My life is enriched by the people here, in an ongoing process that still surprises me in unexpected ways. My non-virtual existence is similarly expanding.
I will share just a few words of what my retired Lutheran pastor friend wrote to me, in the letter I received today. He was responding to the news of 'me' in my Christmas letter. I'll leave out the more personal parts.
He was sharing the joy he felt not only for me, but also for others who make their way, at last, to who they really are. Whatever that entails.
"Good! Good for you now. Good for all the others"
"Sprouting wings and taking off."
"May the impossible dream - surprises still, go on for you."
Hugs,
Danya
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Danya (imported)
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Re: Transitioning at work and in all of my life
...
Paula.
Hi Paula,
I wanted to make a few additional comments. Everyone's situation is unique and, while you may be going at a slower pace than you would wish, you know better than anyone what the right pace is for you. It's good that you are taking some time to ease the way for other people to accept the 'new' you. How long that takes depends in part on who these people are, where you live and where you work. Of course, there are few who are ever likely to be totally prepared when you transition to full-time. Perhaps I am naive or merely fortunate, but my experience tells me that there are people of good will everywhere who will be open to your real self. Some need more time than others. Still others will never be supportive but, as a friend here told me before I went full time, "not everyone likes you now and not everyone will after you transition." Turns out some who didn't like me before now greet me warmly and a very few who 'liked' me in the old days no longer do. On balance, I much prefer things the way they are today.
It would be terrific if you can attend a MoM, Paula. I hope we meet someday.
Hugs,
Danya
paulault (imported) wrote: Sat Feb 21, 2009 7:24 am i do have the support of my stepfather and best friend who other than my doctors know about Paula so far. I am moving at a slower pace than i would like but I'm trying to make the transition as easy on others as i can in hopes of being better accepted. If my schedule permits i would love to attend a MOM and meet the many wonderful people on this board.
Paula.
Hi Paula,
I wanted to make a few additional comments. Everyone's situation is unique and, while you may be going at a slower pace than you would wish, you know better than anyone what the right pace is for you. It's good that you are taking some time to ease the way for other people to accept the 'new' you. How long that takes depends in part on who these people are, where you live and where you work. Of course, there are few who are ever likely to be totally prepared when you transition to full-time. Perhaps I am naive or merely fortunate, but my experience tells me that there are people of good will everywhere who will be open to your real self. Some need more time than others. Still others will never be supportive but, as a friend here told me before I went full time, "not everyone likes you now and not everyone will after you transition." Turns out some who didn't like me before now greet me warmly and a very few who 'liked' me in the old days no longer do. On balance, I much prefer things the way they are today.
It would be terrific if you can attend a MoM, Paula. I hope we meet someday.
Hugs,
Danya