Transitioning at work and in all of my life

[ramses (imported)]

It's probably due to a mix of survivors guilt and an odd sense of company loyalty (fraternizing with the cast offs). People just don't know what to say sometimes so it's just easier to avoid contact with the victim.

[Danya (imported)]

I know how hard it is when friends you have worked with for many years are let go and it seems everyone ostracises them, i know i have in the past and feel real bad about doing so, i think it has to do with greiveing for their loss and guilt that you kept your job when they didn't, i commend you for sticking with your friends and helping them in this most difficult of times.

Paula.

Hi Paula,

When I wrote about how my laid off coworkers were treated, I needed to express my feelings. I felt anger at the apparent heartlessness of some of my colleagues and wondered how they could be so uncaring.

At the same time, I knew we all react differently to life's difficulties. I agree with you. Many people in this type of work situation are grieving and some feel guilty that they still have jobs. We all do the best we can in these circumstances.

Thanks for writing.

Hugs,

Danya

[Danya (imported)]

It's probably due to a mix of survivors guilt and an odd sense of company loyalty (fraternizing with the cast offs). People just don't know what to say sometimes so it's just easier to avoid contact with the victim.

Hi Ramses,

Thanks for writing

, it's good to hear from you.

I a

gree with both you and Paula.

Hugs,

Danya

[Danya (imported)]

This was my third sick day. I haven't been this ill in years and I'm glad I'm starting to feel better. Although I have been home, I have still put in many work hours, remotely. I'm still recovering but I will return to work tomorrow. I need some face-to-face time with 'offline' people as opposed to 'no people'.

I've never gotten used to some of the latest jargon. When I'm at a meeting and someone suggests continuing a discussion offline, it still sounds strange to me. Even people outside the IT department tend to speak this way. Including many who have trouble finding the power switch on their computers! "Let's talk about this later" seems more sensible and human to me, a high tech type.

I am starting to notice quite a change

since my doctor doubled my estrogen dose

several weeks ago. I can tell, by measuring, that my breast size has increased. I'm now a definite A-cup, with leanings toward B. This may not sound like much, but keep in mind I started from a 'no-cup' It's only been a few months since my testosterone finally reached a very low level, too.

The shape of my breasts is changing, too, just as it should. All in all, I am very pleased with these results. If I reach a clear B-cup bra size, I will be happy. Anything beyond that will be icing on the cake.

Last night, Jay Leno showed a picture of a woman reported to have a KK-cup bra size. I don't ever want to reach that point. There's not much danger of that happening.

I am also feeling even more feminine, something which I didn't think was possible a few weeks ago. I'm not sure how to explain this, since I did not grow up as a female. In some ways, I think I am more feminine than some of the natal woman I know.

This femininity feels very right and good. I don't know how I ever made it as a male for most of my life. I certainly wasn't very convincing at it.

[EricaAnn (imported)]

Hi Danya,

I'm so happy for you. Remember our telephone conversation about the right dosage? You're finally starting to see and feel the results we talked about.

Congrats on the increase in your breast size. Isn't it wonderful?

And nothing can replace that feel of femininity.

There is no better feeling in the world than truly being a women.

[mrt (imported)]

Well do remember that the vast majority of women don't have K Sized Breasts or even C or D. As to your fem level your current dose of E2 is probably more healthy then a lot of women so your not only getting that going for you but maybe a touch of the fountain of youth!!!

This was my third sick day. I haven't been this ill in years and I'm glad I'm starting to feel better. Although I have been home, I have still put in many work hours, remotely. I'm still recovering but I will return to work tomorrow. I need some face-to-face time with 'offline' people as opposed to 'no people'.

I've never gotten used to some of the latest jargon. When I'm at a meeting and someone suggests continuing a discussion offline, it still sounds strange to me. Even people outside the IT department tend to speak this way. Including many who have trouble finding the power switch on their computers! "Let's talk about this later" seems more sensible and human to me, a high tech type.

I am starting to notice quite a change [

quote="Danya (imported)" time=12322324

20]
since my doctor doubled my estrogen dose

several weeks ago. I can tell, by measuring, that my breast size has increased. I'm now a definite A-cup, with leanings toward B. This may not sound like much, but keep in mind I started from a 'no-cup' It only been a few months since my testosterone finally reached a very low level, too.

The shape of my breasts is changing, too, just as it should. All in all, I am very pleased with these results. If I reach a clear B-cup bra size, I will be happy. Anything beyond that will be icing on the cake.

Last night, Jay Leno showed a picture of a woman reported to have a KK-cup bra size. I don't ever want to reach that point. There's not much danger of that happening.

I am also feeling even more feminine, something which I didn't think was possible a few weeks ago. I'm not sure how to explain this, since I did not grow up as a female. In some ways, I think I am more feminine than some of the natal woman I know.

This femininity feels very right and good. I don't know how I ever made it as a male for most o
[/quote]
f my life. I certainly wasn't very convincing at it.

[Danya (imported)]

Well do remember that the vast majority of women don't have K Sized Breasts or even C or D. As to your fem level your current dose of E2 is probably more healthy then a lot of women so your not only getting that going for you but maybe a touch of the fountain of youth!!!

I have read about this fountain of youth effect, MrT. In the book 'Conundrum', Jan Morris describes her experiences with estrogen in similar terms.

I think I am starting to notice some estrogen-induced changes to my face. It's not so obvious when I look in the mirror but seems real when I compare very recent photos with those I took months ago.

Jan, by the way, was one of the pioneers in male-to-female transitions culminating in GRS. She (as James Morris) was in the British military, has published histories and been a prolific travel writer and author. James, as a Times reporter, accompanied the first British expedition to conquer Mount Everest. He started the three-part "Pax Britannica", a three-part history of the rise and fall of the British Empire, while still James and completed it as Jan.

She is now over 80 years old. She and her ex-wife, Elizabeth, recently reinstated their marriage through a civil partnership. James and Elizabeth were married for many years before divorcing, after raising four children. You see, a divorce was the only way Jan could convince a surgeon to perform GRS. Jan had the surgery in Morocco back in 1972. Jan and Elizabeth continued to live together after the divorce.

See "Writer Jan Morris remarries wife she wed as a man (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/artic ... s-ago.html)" for some of these recent details about Jan's life.

[Danya (imported)]

Hi Danya,

I'm so happy for you. Remember our telephone conversation about the right dosage? You're finally starting to see and feel the results we talked about.

Congrats on the increase in your breast size. Isn't it wonderful?

And nothing can replace that feel of femininity.

There is no better feeling in the world than truly being a women.

Hi Erica,

Thanks for writing! I remember that phone conversation well.

My breasts are in a very active development stage, that's for sure. You are right, it is wonderful.

As for my feelings, I thought my emotions were strong before my estrogen was doubled. Now they're almost out of control. Ah, to be a teenager again. Wait, I am a teenager again.

Seriously, though, my emotions are wonderful. I never imagined how terrific this could be.

Hugs,

Danya

[paulault (imported)]

Hi Danya, you have been on hrt longer than i have, been 8 months aa's and 6 months E for me but i think you will find out like i have we don't see the changes because we see ourselves multiple times a day. I put together a few pictures of myself, one was from late 2007 before i started hrt and that clearly showed a very unhappy man, then i added a current one that showed a happy woman and when i printed it out and compared the pictures i was totally shocked at the changes that had occurred in such a short time, my avatar is how i look today. I'm not ft yet and was not planning on it till early 2010 however many people have seen something different in my looks but don't know what so i may be ft sooner than i think.

Paula.

[Danya (imported)]

Hi Paula,

I know what you mean. I don't have a series of photos to cover the months since I started estrogen. I have one from my transition day at work (May 19, 2008), although I hadn't started estrogen then. I was happy with that one.

Then I have a few photos from the last month or two. When I compare those with the May photo, I see a noticeable difference that I really like. I hope that continues to improve.

Nearly all pictures I have of my former male self show the same type of unhappy person you describe. When I did smile for any of those pictures, I had to make a conscious effort to do so. Now, I'm smiling all the time.

Only you can decide when to go full-time, but going by your avatar I have to say you look very feminine. It's really cool when people notice the difference, isn't it?

I wish you the best of luck, Paula, now and whenever you decide to go full-time.

Hugs,

Maren