Transitioning at work and in all of my life

[Danya (imported)]

This has been an interesting week for me in many ways. For the first time, I realized what an impact being bipolar has had on my life.

At the office, I attended a diversity council meeting where I was the most outspoken participant. The old 'me' would have never spoken up to this extent. In fact, before I transitioned I might not have said much at all. Now I have no problem stating exactly what's on my mind even with senior management in the room. I even told a senior VP that I disagreed with him and offered an alternative to what he suggested. I'm sure to many

of you this doesn't sound like a big deal.

For me, though, it shows a major change in behavior.

I may be starting to accept, at last, that my time is limited just like everyone else's. This does not make me happy and I may yet decide that if I simply sleep less I can get more done. Since I transitioned, there are so many more things I want to do.

In these sunset years of my life (I AM joking here ), I am coming to appreciate many things that I took for granted before transitioning. Things like free time that seems always beyond my grasp. OTOH, I'm not entirely sure I want much free time. Unless it's time with friends.

[Danya (imported)]

I worked through an inner conflict as I prepared to leave home to vote this evening. The truth is, I briefly considered not voting. The problem was my driver's license has gender dysphoria.

My legal name change, which was effective in late September, meant that I would have to register to vote on election day. I would need identify myself using my new license with my feminine name and clearly female photo. My 'sex', though, is shown as 'M'. The thought of having to show this as a proof of identification was unsettling, to say the least.

In the end, I knew I had to vote and everything worked out fine. In the next few weeks, I will have the state's approval to have my driver's license gender dysphoria resolved. I will get a second new license and then my 'sex' will be displayed as 'F'.

[Danya (imported)]

I wonder how brave I will be. The further I move along my transition journey the more I see new paths opening that seem to offer chances for further growth and joy beyond what I have already gained in crossing the gender divide. The way down none of these paths is clear and I cannot see what obstacles may be ahead. I do not know which would make the best choice or what I might need to let go of to attain a barely discernible promise of greater fulfillment at the new journey's end. I almost certainly can fully explore no more than one of these new roads. Will I be brave enough to travel any of them?

What each of these new choices requires is finally letting go of all of my fears and being fully open to new possibilities. Possibilities that I would have never imagined had I not transitioned.

[Danya (imported)]

This week, I was offered the opportunity by my employer to attend what was essentially a conference on empowering women in their careers, as entrepreneurs and managers. There were several types of workshops offered and I attended everything related to starting and running a business. In many ways, at least in some departments, my company does not operate like a typical corporation. An entrepreneurial approach is highly valued in these areas. What I learned will also help as I seek to start a side business.

It's been nearly 6 months since I transitioned and this conference was the first time that I was in a nearly all-female crowd. In fact, there were 2,000 women attendees. I felt entirely at home with these women. I had no problem walking up to women I had never met and not only talking but initiating conversations. My old 'male' self would have never done this type of thing, with either men or women.

All of these conversations were part of networking and I made a number of potentially useful contacts. For example, I walked straight up to a young woman taking pictures and asked if she was a professional photographer. We had a good conversation, during which I asked about her camera gear. Before we parted, I gave her my card. She promised to contact me with some ideas for my own business. It would have been better, of course, if I had also gotten her card but she didn't have one available.

In several cases where I thought it appropriate, I even announced without hesitation that I am transsexual. In these instances, my gender identity and transitioning status were relevant to another side business idea: consulting with companies who have employees about to transition. Whether or not these women had already guessed my status is besides the point. I was not at all uncomfortable stating who I am. I suspect most had no clue unless I told them. No one's eyes lingered on me as if to say I did not fit in or something was different about me.

Over lunch, I easily chatted with the women seated at my table. The hosting organization is a non-profit that helps women succeed in business. During the meal, awards were given to several women who started with very few resources and built thriving businesses. These women not only helped themselves, but in every case gave back to their communities in very significant ways.

My total comfort throughout the day and the easy conversations I started felt so right. My old 'male' self would have been ill at ease at a meeting of this size, whatever the gender(s) of the participants. As I left the convention center, I was in tears. Once again, I could not believe what a very good thing transitioning has been.

[mrt (imported)]

In regards to your last post I think this is all more proof that you chose the right path. Have you talked to your gender therapist about this milestones and what does he/she say about it?

[Danya (imported)]

In regards to your last post I think this is all more proof that you chose the right path. Have you talked to your gender therapist about this milestones and what does he/she say about it?

Hi MrT,

My experience at the women's conference did indeed add to the proof that I have chosen the right path. At this point, I don't need to be convinced, my friend. It's always nice to get some affirmation. Living as a woman around the clock has changed many parts of my life for the better.

My gender therapist is very impressed with how successfully I am handling everything, including finding my way out of occassional funks. She feels no need for further evidence that I am on the right path. She clearly sees how happy I am.

At the end of my last visit with my gender therapist, on October the 21st, I discussed my very tight money situation. She responded that I was perhaps her only client whom she did not worry about and she felt comfortable seeing me less frequently than once a month. That would help cut down on my expenses.

Our sessions are typically nothing more than than my talking about my life and feelings. She has little feedback because there really is little to say to someone who is doing so well. She shares my excitement about a number of things I am doing.

Hugs,

Danya

[kennath7 (imported)]

Danya

It’s great to hear that you are doing so well

And that you are feeling good inside it helps a great deal that you love your

Self for who you are , and now it sounds that you have made it to that point

I hope things keep going good for you

It also sounds like you are handling life’s obstacles that come your way quite healthy keep up the good work

I know that you are starting your own business but

What else do you see for your life in 5 , 10 or 20 years in the future

(Things you plan as life goals after the transitioning process is complete )

If that is to personal please forgive me and disregard that last question

I, am not out to hurt you just cereous

[Danya (imported)]

Danya

It’

s great to hear that you are doing so well

And that you are feeling good inside it helps a great deal that you love your

Self for who you are , and now it sounds that you have made it to that point

I hope things keep going good for you

It also sounds like you are handling life’s obstacles that come your way quite healthy keep up the good work

I know that you are starting your own business but

What else do you see for your life in 5 , 10 or 20 years in the future

(Things you plan as life goals after the transitioning process is complete )

If that is to personal please forgive me and disregard that last question

I, am not out to hurt you just cereous

Hi Kennath7,

Thanks for writing! I agree with you. Being able to love oneself is a terrific thing. Before I transitioned, I knew that was true but I did not feel it for myself much of the time. Now I do.

You never know what may lie ahead in life. In some ways, my life is more difficult since I transitioned but that doesn't matter. I am happy for the first time and I can deal with problems along the way.

I know you are not out to hurt me and your questions is not too personal. I cannot give you a definite answer yet on what I see for my life years down the road. It is important to think about those things, though, and I am doing just that.

Long range planning is complicated for me right now because I am, in effect, going through a female puberty. My emotions get so intense that I feel at times I can hardly contain them. This tends to interfere with rational thinking.

I am always glad when your write.

Hugs,

Danya

[NaziNuts (imported)]

Danya,

It is always fun to catch up with your posts.

This thread is a great historic record of your pioneering bravery and your elegant (and eloquent) transitioning.

Good luck with your new female puberty. I love the way you phrase every phase of your liberating adventure.

Wishing you well in all ways,

-NN

[Danya (imported)]

Danya,

It is always fun to catch up with your posts.

This thread is a great historic record of your pioneering bravery and your elegant (and eloquent) transitioning.

Good luck with your new female puberty. I love the way you phrase every phase of your liberating adventure.

Wishing you well in all ways,

-NN

Hi NN,

It's good to hear from you, as always. Your very kind comments, and those of others here, mean a lot to me.

It often helps me to go back and look at older posts to remind myself of how far I have come. It was only about a year ago that I first started seeing a transgender therapist. I have come a long way in that year. The support of people here has really helped me along the way, many times.

I hope you are well.

Hugs,

Danya