When I was in my own transitioning phase and at my former school, also a CSU school, I did not appreciate the way I was treated by school housing (this was when I lived in the dorms). The housing director did not say so directly, but her choice of words basically implied that I should consider myself very lucky that they were willing to consider allowing me to live with female students because they had consulted the school lawyer and were supposedly told that the law says genitalia is what determines gender. This was clearly false because state law specfically prohibits discrimination because of gender identity or expression in public housing. My suspicions are that they knew very well what the law really says, but they were hoping that I would believe them so I wouldn't use it against them if they decided to break it later on.
Just wanted to point out a few things about communities using words with one another that are or were at one time considered to be negative if used by members outside the community. The word "nigger," as mrt mentioned, is one example. Blacks now regularly use this word with one another, and it is considered acceptable to use if you are a member of the community, or black.
Another example is "queer" in regards to the gay community. Queer was once considered a terrible word to use to refer to a gay person, yet members of the gay community now use it all the time when referring to themselves and one another (this is in contrast to "nigger," which I don't believe is commonly used by blacks to refer to themselves - only other blacks).
For the trans community, there is "tranny." This too was once considered a "bad word" to use when referring to a trans person. Now, however, trans people use it to refer to themselves and other trans people all the time.
"Queer" has now been "reclaimed" by the gay community (this is usually the justification I hear for communities using former hate words with one another), but I have always wondered when "fag" and "faggot" are going to be reclaimed. Surely there can't be any more problem with this word than any others? When will the time come? Or has it started already and I am just not aware of it?
With all of these words, it is OK to use them to refer to yourself or another member of the community if you are part of the community. If you are not part of it, then it is considered offensive to refer to someone with those words. "Queer" may be an exception - I think pretty much anyone can use that now if meant in a positive way. But "tranny" is generally still considered offensive if used by a non-trans person, and "nigger" is definitely offensive if used by a non-black (though I'm sure this varies in different parts of the country. In my part, you'd probably be killed if you called a black that word, but in parts such as the South, it probably happens more often).
OK, back to the thread
I am glad to hear that your name change continues to move forward. I think things will work out with your job. It sounds like your co-workers and superiors are really supportive of you and don't want to lose you. But if anything did happen, in an area as trans-friendly as where you live, you will definitely be able to find something else.
I adore a number of women (Yourself included of course)
