Transitioning at work and in all of my life

[John (imported)]

This evening, I received some good news. I will be the substitute organist at my own church for several Sundays this summer. This will bring in some extra cash but even better, I absolutely love playing music for others to hear and I do it well. I mean, I really get off on this - well, not quite literally but it is a powerful experience. It goes without saying that I will practice very hard to almost guarantee some really good feedback. I pour my emotions into the music I play and people typically take notice and mention it. I just lap up that kind of attention!

Hello!

Interesting!

May I ask what kind of reactions you have received from the parish about your step?

We have a woman in your situation in my protestant parish I used to belong to before my conversion.

She is I would like to say accepted to 95%.

Greetings

John

[Mac (imported)]

Danya,

Now that you have been a full-time woman for about 5 weeks, how are you accepted at work, at your church, among your former friends, and under other situations? Are you accepted as a real woman? Are you allowed to participate in various female activities and allowed access to all "female only" facilities? In general, how you accepted and treated by your friends, business associates, other acquaintances, and other people in general?

[Danya (imported)]

Hello!

Interesting!

May I ask what kind of reactions you have received from the parish about your step?

We have a woman in your situation in my protestant parish I used to belong to before my conversion.

She is I would like to say accepted to 95%.

Greetings

John

Hi John,

I go to a very progressive Lutheran church that has a reputation within the national church body of pushing the limits. For a period, we were censured and prohibited from voting at national meetings. That ended a few years ago and now we fully participate again.

Roughly 33% of the members are GLBT and they are the most active ones, besides. Even here I cannot say I am accepted 100% with certainty, but I'm sure it is close.

Major GLBT issues that have come before the congregation have always been received very favorably, usually with unanimous support for approval. Even when passage meant going against the national body policy.

Take care,

Danya

[Danya (imported)]

Danya,

Now that you have been a full-time woman for about 5 weeks, how are you accepted at work, at your church, among your former friends, and under other situations? Are you accepted as a real woman? Are you allowed to participate in various female activities and allowed access to all "female only" facilities? In general, how you accepted and treated by your friends, business associates, other acquaintances, and other people in general?

Hi Mac,

Nice to hear from you. You do have a lot of questions and I like to write. So this will be a fairly long response.

As far as I can tell at work, my acceptance level has not dropped since I transitioned and may have gone up. Until that point, I was gay identified at the office. There are a few people who may be reacting to me a little more cooly now (surprisingly several women) but not among those I work with directly.

I have been very surprised by reactions from a number of male coworkers. There are those who were cool to me before who are now down right friendly and clearly supportive. I have not had any negative reactions from the men at all.

I suspect there are four reasons for this.

I work at a company that is very supportive of its GLBT workers. There still may be some homophobia among some men there and it could be that they are not even aware of that. Now that identify as female, there is no reason to be homophobic.

Having a transsexual woman in the office is a new experience and by and large most people I work with are very open to diversity. When people in my division were required to attend mandatory training on transgender lives, some responded with 'Why, we are XYZ company and we are known to be accepting. We do not need this.' I expect there is some natural male curiosity about what is going on with my life.

The fact the I am well-liked throughout the company and that my work is appreciated plays a part. It has to.

Finally, I am so comfortable in my own skin now I feel confident and happy. As a result, I am able to more easily interact with all kinds of people. If I feel confident and happy, others pick up on this and they then feel comfortable with who I am.

Now that I write this out, I have to conclude that my situation at work has improved since I transitioned! I did not anticipate this, although I was not expecting a bad reaction either.

Many of the men are work are tending to treat me more as a woman. They smile at me more and I like that!

Nearly all of the women treat me well and also accept me as female. Some are switching roles from mere coworker to friend.

I do use the women's rest rooms outside the office with no problem whatsoever. At work, I suggested (for my female coworkers comfort but also for my own) that I use a single use rest room for the first several months. I told the transition team that after that initial period, I expected to be using the women's rest rooms there. This is for my own psychologically well-being. They had no problem with this. In fact

, the female director of my division

said any woman having a problem with this should be told 'Get real and get used to it. What's the big deal? All the women's toilets are in stalls with doors anyway". So in two months or so I expect to be using the women's rest rooms at the office.

I have been invited to several 'girls only' activities related to work and have been happy to participate. No problem there at all. Several women remarked how they knew practically nothing about me before but now feel comfortable and happy getting to know me as a woman.

As far as friends go, I would say I have lost two. Those were already drifting away before I transitioned. They were not at all hostile but clearly not comfortable. This does not bother me. I am making lots of new friends. Long standing friends treat me very well without exception.

I have had no negative reactions from strangers so far. I attribute this to three things.

I am confident so people tend to accept me on that basis. A sure way to make others uncomfortable is to appear anxious about who you are. I never feel that way.

The area I live in is, for the most part, very progressive and accepting of diversity. Even some suburban areas are known as very welcoming of GLBT folks. My community is not one of those, although we do have active school programs promoting acceptance of diversity, including specific mention of GLBT people. I have had no problem at all in my suburban town.

I have been told I 'pass' well so people tend to see a woman when they look at me. Besides, there are things a trans woman can do to make herself more feminine. Things like makeup and jewelry help. I have always tended toward feminine gestures and body movements.

A side note on passing. On my trip to the arboretum last night with my woman consultant friend, I made the mistake of using the timer on my camera so I could take our picture, arm in arm. The lighting was bad, my wig was a little crooked (my friend had assured me my hair looked fine) and I wasn't standing straight. I thought I looked kind of like a chicken with a stretched neck in this photo Usually, I would not let such an unflattering photo out of my possession Today was her last day though, so I sent it to her.

She had already asked permission to frame one of the landscape photos I took yesterday, though, so that compensates for things. This was of a waterfall and I admit it came out fairly well. Unlike the photo of the two of us (me, specifically), it shows no resemblance to something it is not, like an iceberg, for instance! It is not one I would choose to frame (there are a few flaws) but if it makes her happy, I am glad for that. I will correct the flaws to the extent possible and send her an 8 x 10 copy. She wanted to print it herself from the image I emailed her.

Another side note on passing. I am very happy with the way I look and I enjoy preening in front of a mirror. It must be the teen girl in me coming out! As I told my therapist (who says no one would give me a second glance), natural born women come in all shapes and sizes. Few have what are considered the ideal female facial features. I don't either but that's fine. Some time on estrogen will help a bit with that but it is not a big deal anyway.

Generally, then, strangers see me and treat me as a woman. I am regularly called ma'am and everyone has been polite. Women I don't know tend to treat me the way I see them treat other women. Sort of like a member of a secret club.

Take care,

Danya

[Danya (imported)]

I feel very calm at the end of my third week on estrogen. I felt this way for the last several days and intermittently before that. It typically takes strenuous exercise to make me feel like this so I am surprised. I haven't exercised in at least 10 days (that has to change!). Actually, it seems like this is a better calm somehow than what I get from exercise. It's still probably too early to be certain if this is from the estrogen or not. It may be a placebo effect or simply contentment that I have transitioned.

This feeling has not interfered with my ability to work effectively on the job. I would be really concerned if it did.

Earlier in the evening, I started to do some research on the emotional effects of estrogen on MtF transsexuals. Without much digging, I found reports that some do experience a calm and happy feeling with HRT. Others experience some depression. I am not at all depressed.

I was going to post the references I found. Right now, I am feeling too calm to bother. Perhaps another time.

[John (imported)]

I feel very calm at the end of my third week on estrogen. I felt this way for the last several days and intermittently before that. It typically takes strenuous exercise to make me feel like this so I am surprised. I haven't exercised in at least 10 days (that has to change!). Actually, it seems like this is a better calm somehow than what I get from exercise. It's still probably too early to be certain if this is from the estrogen or not. It may be a placebo effect or simply contentment that I have transitioned.

This feeling has not interfered with my ability to work effectively on the job. I would be really concerned if it did.

Earlier in the evening, I started to do some research on the emotional effects of estrogen on MtF transsexuals. Without much digging, I found reports that some do experience a calm and happy feeling with HRT. Others experience some depression. I am not at all depressed.

I was going to post the references I found. Right now, I am feeling too calm to bother. Perhaps another time.

Hi Danya!

I guess the correct comment is: Congratulations, it´s always nice to be able to take it easy. Sitting in the corner of the sofa watching sometheing in TV sipping a cup of coffe or something.

Greetings

John

PS. That´s basically what i did thursday evening but not after your kind of transition but after moving to a bigger flat.

[twaddler (imported)]

I love olives and to save on the per ounce cost, a lot, I got the largest size jar of the store brand. I was actively looking for specials.

How come sliced olives w/ pimentos cost so much less than solid olives? That annoys me.

[kristoff]

How come sliced olives w/ pimentos cost so much less than solid olives? That annoys me.

Because they grow on hybrid pimento olive trees. They do not have to have anyone sitting around hand stuffing them, unlike those that have garlic in them....

[Danya (imported)]

How come sliced olives w/ pimentos cost so much less than solid olives? That annoys me.

I don't like the solid, pitted olives so I hadn't noticed the price difference! If food takes too much effort to eat, like spitting out olive pits, I generally stear clear of it. In general, I don't l

ike to mess with food. That probably means I'm fussy!

Because they grow on hybrid pimento olive trees. They do not have to have anyone sitting around hand stu

ffing them, unlike those that have garlic in them....

These hybrid pimento olive trees are one of the last century's big horticultural success stories. I am surprised Kristoff knows about this because the first hybrids were released for planting in the early 1950s. They are now such a common site in parts of California, Spain and Italy that most assume they are quite natural. The hybridists were never able to solve the problem of the pimentos' tendency to slide out of the olives while they are still on the tree!

Some time ago, I posted 'Why do I look like I'm pregenant?' on my blog http://www.eunuch.org/vbulletin/blog.php?b=193 . I wasn't at all surprised when tanglog had some sage advice for that problem.

Now I find that I crave pickles and ice cream in addition to olives. So far, I have gained no weight but who knows what may be developing inside. I may be the victim of a very rare condition that in medical circles is known as idiopathic pregnancy. Recently, scientists noted that it is seen only in MtF transsexuals and even in that subgroup it is exceedingly uncommon. What I am talking about is asexual reproduction!

My Body Mass Index has gone down by about 4 percent over the last month, probably because I dine out much less frequently. Despite the lower body fat, what I do have stubbornly refuses to distribute itself evenly over my body. Well, I suspect some is going toward increased breast development. I have seen some modest changes in that department.

[mrt (imported)]

Some R&D for you per Google.

http://www.symposion.com/ijt/ijtvo05no03_02.htm

http://www.geocities.com/WestHollywood/ ... 07/hrt.htm

*Note the comments on progesterone dose changes... And LOTS of additional links.

Once you are grown and genetic male traits are fully developed, the only way your body organs have of knowing what sex you are is by the levels of male and female hormones which are present. Changing the hormone balance from male to female with drugs causes tissues which are supported by male hormones to diminish and stop functioning and those which are supported by female hormones to develop and begin functioning.

Once you have been using estrogens for a year or more, some effects may become irreversible even if estrogen intake is ceased. Certain chemical processes in the brain remain in a female pattern permanently, and changes in brain wave patterns have been reported. These effects may or may not be associated with emotional and personality changes. Breasts and female fat distribution may not subside after administration of estrogens, and sex drive may remain relatively low. For these reasons, it is important to be certain of your committment to feminization of your body.

Sudden changes in dosage of estrogens, either increasing or decreasing, have been known to produce severe mood changes. The effects may be likened to going through menopause, puberty, and pregnancy at the same time. Lethargy, depression, anxiety, difficulty in concentration, headaches, abdominal cramping, nausea, and other symptoms have been noted for periods of days or weeks. It may be wise to change dosages as gradually as possible. (Despite what your doctor may tell you!)

Changes in metabolism are common, with weight gain, water retention, and increased appetite as the major effects. Estrogen reduces the ability of the body to eliminate certain drugs such as Valium so that smaller dosages of these medications become as effective as larger dosages were before. This is also true for alcohol so be sure to reassess your limits - this explains why the tolerance for alcohol of women is typically less than that of men. Any physician you deal with should know of any medications you are taking - with surgery this can be critical due to the effects of estrogen on the blood clotting rate.

I feel very calm at the end of my third week on estrogen. I felt this way for the last several days and intermittently before that. It typically takes strenuous exercise to make me feel like this so I am surprised. I haven't exercised in at least 10 days (that has to change!). Actually, it seems like this is a better calm somehow than what I get from exercise. It's still probably too early to be certain if this is from the estrogen or not. It may be a placebo effect or simply contentment that I have transitioned.

This feeling has not interfered with my ability to work effectively on the job. I would be really concerned if it did.

Earlier in the evening, I started to do some research on the emotional effects of estrogen on MtF transsexuals. Without much digging, I found reports that some do experience a calm and happy feeling with HRT. Others experience some depression. I am not at all depressed.

I was going to post the references I found. Right now, I am feeling too calm to bother. Perhaps another time.