Transitioning at work and in all of my life

[gpb3aol (imported)]

Danya,

Well that the problem, he's a DOCTOR, part of their training is to be God like. I've only known one doctor with compassion, and she was a trangender woman. I guess it could be worst, he could be a lawyer. (just joking, don't want any emails from the bar association).

Pauline

[joanne-f (imported)]

I find some christians very odd. You would think if they followed the teachings of Christ (which I think is central to being a Christian) they would love one another and not judge others. But some people have a very narrow point of view of what being a christian is, they tend to condemn people to hell who don't fit into their own worldview. Which is not love. Certainly not the love that Jesus spoke of. These days I tend to think that these people are just bigots, and they use their faith to justify their bigotry. Fifty years ago they probably would have been racist and would have used their faith and the bible to justify their racism (as they did in some parts of America pre-civil rights).

My father was a priest (Anglican, which is Episcopalian in the U.S.) and was quite liberal. So I was brought up in a very christian household, but I virtually walked away from the Church when I was in my late teens. While I still have a spiritual side these days it's probably more closer to paganism than christianity. If anyone asked me what I believed in I would probably say "I'm not sure". I think spirituality is a lifelong journey, a lifelong personal quest. The problem I see with the more evengelical/fundamentalist christians is that they have taken a dogmatic approach to their beliefs thus everything is already explained and laid out for them and because of that their spirituality never grows or never goes anywhere.

[_g (imported)]

I am totally into this minor breast development and enjoy the pain and sensitivity simply because it shows something is really going on. If I could only find the right guy, well maybe I'd settle for any guy for this minor a deal , to suckle them, I know I'd be in heaven!

That first breast development, along with the pain/sensitivity is an awesome time - enjoy it as it is short lived!!!

I'm kind of between an AA and A cup, if I ever go the T-blocker route again I will go all out, B cup perhaps...

Another pleasure I hope you will enjoy is having some suckle on them.....that is a VERY pleasurable sensual feeling!!!!!

Yes having the breast stimulated even when I was young was erotic even before I had gyncomasta, now with larger tits it's even more erotic.

[mrt (imported)]

I find some christians very odd. You would think if they followed the teachings of Christ (which I think is central to being a Christian) they would love one another and not judge others. But some people have a very narrow point of view of what being a christian is, they tend to condemn people to hell who don't fit into their own worldview. Which is not love. Certainly not the love that Jesus spoke of. These days I tend to think that these people are just bigots, and they use their faith to justify their bigotry. Fifty years ago they probably would have been racist and would have used their faith and the bible to justify their racism (as they did in some parts of America pre-civil rights).

My father was a priest (Anglican, which is Episcopalian in the U.S.) and was quite liberal. So I was brought up in a very christian household, but I virtually walked away from the Church when I was in my late teens. While I still have a spiritual side these days it's probably more closer to paganism than christianity. If anyone asked me what I believed in I would probably say "I'm not sure". I think spirituality is a lifelong journey, a lifelong personal quest. The problem I see with the more evengelical/fundamentalist christians is that they have taken a dogmatic approach to their beliefs thus everything is already explained and laid out for them and because of that their spirituality never grows or never goes anywhere.

I think it helps to think about the Religious "Leaders" of Christs time. You would think that some of them would get it but the vast majority were so into their own made up deal that they didn't have time for God. I think of Jesus angry and of course it was in the temple which I think is a message of us in modern times to at least ponder that the people in charge of our church might be just as dumb/evil.

There ARE Christians out there. I know some and I hope to be a good one. Its not easy at times! I really don't think its a matter of being Liberal either. Politics don't make you good or bad. Most politics in my thinking make you dumb for trusting the bastards if you ask me!

Listening to what Jesus said vs what others want you to do because they translated for him is very important.

[plix (imported)]

Danya,

I am sorry to hear that things are not working between you and your brother. It is disappointing that he cannot show a more Christ-like attitude toward you.

However, I have some good news. My own brother (who as you probably remember, rejected me for the same reasons) called me out of nowhere the other day. I was pretty surprised. We spent nearly an hour talking about just stuff. We even agreed to consider hanging out and some point in the near future. Anyone who knows me and my brother knows that this is highly surprising on his part. He has treated me like scum up until now.

The reason I am telling you this is there is a chance things will change in the future, just as they seem to be changing in my case. Keep the door open, and your brother may one day decide to come back into your life

Until then, know that you have so many friends here at the EA who care about you and are here to support you through your transition.

[Danya (imported)]

Plix,

I'm very happy to hear the news about your brother and I know from things you've written what a tough time you've had there. You have my very best wishes for continued improvement of your relationship with your brother.

I am open to the possibility of future contacts and gradual acceptance. If that doesn't happen, though, I will be fine. I am feeling very strong and totally back to my typical sense of well-being.

I feel really blessed by all my friends here on the Archive, at my own very welcoming church and at work. It would have been much more difficult for me to get back on track after this weekend without all this support.

[Danya (imported)]

MrT,

I am certain my brother would not be at all open to this thought/feeling experiment idea, although I do think it's a good one!

He knows about my low T situation and happiness. As he is a physician, I would expect him to be at least vaguely familiar with gender issues and certainly willing to be open-minded. That's just not the case, though.

He can have all the time he wants to think about this. Whether he will ever have a change of heart is a big question. He knows I am open to hearing from him if he indicates he's at least making an effort to understand me.

Whew... Its hard for him to grasp this but I suggest you ask him how he would feel if he woke up in a female body and people were telling him to get over his "problem" and start acting like a women and please have a normal sexual relationship with a man because it is "normal." Oh, and tell him that in your case this "problem" started when you were very young and he probably was able to see there was a problem even then.

In short its a medical issue not a social activity!

Then let him really think about it for a long while. If he is not a total dunce he may get an idea of whats going on with you and why its important for you t odo this. You might then explain how dialing down the male hormones has helped you where for many people it would make them feel awful etc.

[Danya (imported)]

Folks at work who know what occurred over the weekend with my brother have been terrific in their support of me. My direct boss was extremely sympathetic and offered some helpful input.

A coworker wrote me this very kind note, and she's a relatively new employee:

It's a lousy blow to lay his issues on you & to use religion as his crutch…families are such a gamble; sometimes you win & sometimes you loose…fortunately for you, you have found what makes you happy & something you want in life, and that gives you more than most people have or ever attain…its sad enough that you can count on the ignorance of some people to make things more challenging for you, without adding those people who are supposed to love & support you unconditionally…but there is strength in your decision & your pursuit of happiness, and for that you are staying true to your dreams & desires; if its right for you, nothing else should matter…I know this has to be a very challenging & difficult time for you, and I hope that you find the love & support you need while you walk your path…in the end I am sure everything will be right! You deserve all the happiness the world has to offer; keep your chin up & ignore all the BS…following your dreams just scares those who are too afraid to do the same in their own lives…and they will take it out on you…so take it as a compliment

[Danya (imported)]

After work today, I went to a gay-owned with some of 'the girls' from work. This was a terrific lift for me. Partly because, as has happened before, I felt like I fit right in as one of 'the girls'.

The nice thing about the bar is they often have live music, usually like tonight with someone playing the piano and singing. I love to sing! (and play piano, too, but with only one piano, I couldn't get in on that action ). I had a terrific time with these women, some of whom are barely half my age. We were all singing. When the soloist was finished, he came to our table and told us how fun it had been to have us there. Several of 'my girls' complimented me on my voice.

I was pleased that some of the women present had deeper singing voices than me, because I'm working on my voice. Just to sound reasonably feminine. It needs to have a certain hard to describe combination of sultriness, breathiness and restrained energy - just kidding here, of course. I am working on my voice, though! , but I'm not overly concerned about it.

As I stated in an earlier post someplace , for the first time in my life I feel totally at home in a group. This is when I'm with women. I never felt this way in groups of men, whether gay or straight. It's a wonderful feeling!

[Danya (imported)]

Please do not get the idea from my previous post that I dislike men at all! I'd love to have a man in my life, just not a group of them! And I have a soft spot in my heart for a number of eunuchs, too!