Transitioning at work and in all of my life

[Danya (imported)]

I'll always consider my work transition day as a second birthday, this time as being 'born' into a new gender and presenting as a woman, Me!, in all areas of my life. I'm really excited about this event and want to have a celebration of some type, probably on Sunday May 18. I've just got to come up with some good ideas for the party. I'd like to do something out of the ordinary. I've still got a little over a month to think about it and suggestions are welcome!

It seems like a whole new world is opening up for me with all kinds of possibilities. My life has become very full in the last few months and that's a really good thing. I'm meeting really terrific people, in person and virtually, on the Archive and I'm finding new friends in unexpected places elsewhere. Life is really good.

I'm going to use this thread to record my experiences with transitioning. There will be frustrations along the way and it helps if I write down both the good and the bad. I'm certain the good will far surpass the bad.

[joanne-f (imported)]

Good luck with it. I'll read what's happening with your transition with great interest (as I'll be going down the same road in a few months). May it lead to great happiness

[tugon (imported)]

I am sorry I will not be able to attend your party but we will do something special during the August MoM. Many of us will be cheering you on and will be here for any bumps in the road. I am such a creature of habit I could see me walking into the men's restroom and hiking up my skirt to use the urinal out of routine.

[kristoff]

I am sorry I will not be able to attend your party but we will do something special during the August MoM. Many of us will be cheering you on and will be here for any bumps in the road. I am such a creature of habit I could see me walking into the men's restroom and hiking up my skirt to use the urinal out of routine.

How do you think I feel when I hike my habit? Shows off the combat boots, thigh high hose, and the garters.

[Danya (imported)]

Just a quick note in response to Tugon's 'bumps in the road'. I am pleased to announce some minor breast development after 3 1/2 months on Androcur followed by 2 months on spironolactone. Things are very sensitive there

I will be out of town for a few days visiting my brother in California. We've never gotten along well but there are some signs that this could change. He feels strange about my transitioning but would like to try to have a better relationship. I'm keeping my expectations low, partly because he's a very conservative Christian and also because of the way he has treated the rest of the family over the years, including the last time I saw him. I'm giving him the benefit of the doubt and if something at all positive comes out of the trip, that's good. Whether that would turn into a long-term improvement in our relationship is open to question.

Unlike the rest of my family, I never tolerate his insensitivity and unkind words and he knows it. If he starts to get out of hand, I'll tell him I'm going to stay at a hotel instead of with him. If he gets more relaxed and reasonable, he can call me and we can resume our conversation.

This is the brother who thought it was his responsibility, 5 years ago, to tell me homosexuality is a sin. I was identifying as gay then. I didn't let that remark slide then and discussed his statement calmly but assertively. He later apologized. I'll use the same approach on this trip.

-Danya

[Uncle Flo (imported)]

Good luck, Danya! --FLO--

[Tclosetgirl (imported)]

That first breast development, along with the pain/sensitivity is an awesome time - enjoy it as it is short lived!!!

I'm kind of between an AA and A cup, if I ever go the T-blocker route again I will go all out, B cup perhaps...

Another pleasure I hope you will enjoy is having some suckle on them.....that is a VERY pleasurable sensual feeling!!!!!

I wish you well with your brother too!

[Danya (imported)]

Visit to see my brother - I was totally rejected. He copied me on an email tonight to thank my sister-in-law for being available to listen to him after I left (more on how I left another time). He thinks being transgender is a choice and he doesn't approve of my choice in this. He stated flat out that my behavior in this is 'bizarre' and that he doesn't support me.

Other things he wrote in the letter to my sister-in-law clearly show he doesn't get me at all in many other ways. Right now, I'm dealing with my feelings about this and I'm not at all happy.

[Danya (imported)]

I'm posting here my response to the email (letter) my California brother (see last post) sent to my sister-and-law and me tonight:

'CA brother's name', you are way off base here in every way. You just don’t get me. I can live with that but there are a few things I will say here:

1. Gender Identity Disorder is not a choice. It’s not a behavior. It’s not a behavioral choice. It’s considered a treatable medical condition.

2. We spent lots of time talking about your life and didn’t get to my gender discussion at all until Saturday evening at dinner. We spoke about my gender stuff for maybe 20 minutes, tops, of the time I was in California. [My brother had stated I had shown no interest in his life when I spend lots of time talking about it.]

3. You insulted me by talking about my ‘bizarre’ behavior and follow it by telling me ‘there is no support’. What you are refusing to support is me in being who I really am and it is a rebirth. You don’t get that and it is a very big deal, indeed. So, when you reject who I am as a person, which isn’t a behavioral choice at all, and insult me on top of it, I will leave.

4. Everyone who knows me well would say I’m one of the least self-centered people around, thank you. [Clearly, my brother stated that he saw me as very self-centered ]

5. Everyone who really knows me will always very strongly state that I don’t see things in black or white absolutes at all. Not being accepted for who I am is a very big exception to this and not negotiable. You don’t accept me so that’s the end of that.

What I was hoping for from everyone was some eventual understanding and support. I’ve made it clear from when I first brought this up that I know it can be difficult for people to understand. I can handle someone saying something like ‘I don’t get this at all but I’m trying to understand’. I can easily live without this support and acceptance but it would be a very good thing if someday this existed. I’m always open to hearing from any of you but I won’t pursue further contacts.

[joanne-f (imported)]

I'm so disappointed in your brother's reaction. He seems like he's totally wrapped up in his own life that he can't even begin to understand what's going on in yours (or take the time to find out).

I'm so sorry that's happened. Rejection from a family member must hurt. I hope you can deal with it. Always remember we are here for you.