A warning to husbands who want to lower their libido!!!

intelliflop (imported)
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A warning to husbands who want to lower their libido!!!

Post by intelliflop (imported) »

I have seen quite a number of threads on this board concerning husbands whose wives have lost their libidos, and then to create a more harmonious relationship, the husband decides to opt for some sort of chemical castration in order to re-align his libido with that of his spouse.

I am one of those husbands, and this is my story:-

Some time ago, my wife who was at the time suffering from tremendous mood swings, visited our then local GP. I accompanied her and explained that she was a little difficult to get along with. "No problem" he smiled, "I'll just give her some capsules, and pretty soon she'll be like putty in your hands".

He gave her the prescription, we collected the medicine, she started taking it, and...WOW!!! She really did start being a very nice person once again.

A month or two later, her libido started to wane (she'd normally been the one pestering me for sex, not the other way around). Pretty soon it had disappeared altogether.

What ensued was close to a disaster. We were constantly at loggerheads on the issue of the lack of sexuality in our marriage. It got to the stage where I was accusing her of not loving me anymore (totally stoopid), and her accusing me of having nothing else on my mind except sex. Things got so bad that we were contemplating divorce, since we always seemed to be bickering.

At this point I decided to opt for chemical castration of some sort. I broached the subject with her and she agreed wholeheartedly. So off I went along to our present GP, not knowing what to expect.

To my surprise he was very understanding, and informed me that this was quite a common request. He prescribed some capsules, and then indicated that should they not work, we could consider a stronger form of medication or surgical castration with low level hormonal treatment.

I really was taken aback, having read about how difficult it is to obtain this sort of treatment. It seems that doctors here in South Africa are much more open to this kind of request. Having said that, I must point out that I am approaching 50, and have had a vasectomy some years ago, this probably did influence his decision. He also pointed out that correcting libido problems in females is much more difficult than in males, and can also be quite costly, so my decision was the easiest and cheapest option.

I have been taking these capsules for about a week and although my libido hasn't lowered, my erectile function seems to be fading.

Two days ago, my wife who hadn't really wanted to be informed of all the details ("Just get it over with, and we can get back to normal"), watched as I took my daily capsule, picked up the box, and informed me that there was something terribly wrong.

"These are the same capsules I'm taking to control the mood swings" she exclaimed. It was then that I started to take note of what was going on. I've pretty much always left things in the hands of a trusted doctor:(

It turns out that the capsules that we have both been taking is Nuzak. This is simply the local name for Prozac with exactly the same make up (fluoxetine hydrochloride). This is one of the SSRI drugs and leads to a loss of libido in both males and females.

So here's the irony of the whole situation: I'm taking this stuff to lose my libido because my wife has lost her libido from taking the stuff I am on now🙄

The fundamental problem here is that the doctor she visited in the beginning simply gave her this Nuzak without ever bothering to explain what the consequences would be. We then assumed that her loss of libido was due to being menopausal, aging etc. never once suspecting that Nuzak was at the root of the problem.

It was only after my visit to the doctor that we both realized that this is something that diminishes ones libido, and that's when I started investigating. My wife never suffered any noticeable discomfort when she started taking the drug. I, on the other hand, have suffered from headaches, dizziness, nausea and a general feeling of being disconnected (I am still in the initial phase of medication, and it seems that these horrible effects will disappear after 8 days to 2 weeks).

So I did quite a bit of research into Nuzak/Prozak (fluoxetine hydrochloride) and have come to realise that it is a pretty nasty drug. Besides the effects that I have mentioned above, which are short term and pretty minor, there are some very serious side effects, to the extent that this drug can be fatal if used together with other forms of medication (eg. medication to control blood pressure).

Needless to say we have now taken a much more enlightened decision to quit the medication (both of us) and see if things won't return to normal.

Here is the warning:-

DO NOT always assume the doctor is correct - do some of your own research. There are a lot of doctors out there that are from the "old school" who will very easily prescribe drugs, hysterectomies etc. simply because that is the way it has always been done.

Remember that in a lot of cases (not all, I will agree), the actual problem is NOT that you have a high libido, the fact is that your wife has lost hers!!! Try and get that sorted out before going the route that I did. It could be something as simple and could spare you a lot of heartache.

Regards,

Intelliflop
Kangan (imported)
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Re: A warning to husbands who want to lower their libido!!!

Post by Kangan (imported) »

I've never liked drugs or doctors. Here's a good reason why! Thanks for sharing.
coinflipper_21 (imported)
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Re: A warning to husbands who want to lower their libido!!!

Post by coinflipper_21 (imported) »

I don't know if the standards have changed, but the last time that I looked into it, a doctor, in the state of California, only needed eight class hours in human sexuality in his entire medical education to qualify for his license. I have found out that, unless it is their specialty, doctors are just as reluctant and embarrassed to discuss sex as anyone else. As a result of this, I was misdiagnosed for 12 years with a prolactin producing tumor that caused mainly sexual problems in me. The reluctance to discuss sexual problems, and a certain amount of ignorance, delayed my diagnosis until the tumor was inoperable. Fortunately, it is one that can be suppressed by medication.

Another factor, was that my wife's libido was not as high as mine to begin with. Remember, when a woman is being facetious is when she is most likely telling the truth. When my wife said that she 'could hardly wait for menopause so she could retire', she wasn't kidding. Her lack of alarm at my sexual dysfunction contributed to the delay in my diagnosis.

If you and your wife have a problem with mismatched libidos, hopefully, your relationship is good enough that you can admit that there is a problem and discuss it reasonably. If you need medical help, find a doctor that specializes in sexual difficulties. They are not common and are probably needed more than most people will admit.

When libidos differ radically and a doctor cannot help, maybe a husband and wife can be very civilized and agree on an "arrangement" for one or the other's sexual activity. I would think that castration, chemical or surgical, would be the very last resort in a situation such as this. Divorce might be prefereable.
mrt (imported)
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Re: A warning to husbands who want to lower their libido!!!

Post by mrt (imported) »

intelliflop (imported) wrote: Tue Mar 04, 2008 11:01 pm I have seen quite a number of threads on this board concerning husbands whose wives have lost their libidos, and then to create a more harmonious relationship, the husband decides to opt for some sort of chemical castration in order to re-align his libido with that of his spouse.

I am one of those husbands, and this is my story:-

Some time ago, my wife who was at the time suffering from tremendous mood swings, visited our then local GP. I accompanied her and explained that she was a little difficult to get along with. "No problem" he smiled, "I'll just give her some capsules, and pretty soon she'll be like putty in your hands".

He gave her the prescription, we collected the medicine, she started taking it, and...WOW!!! She really did start being a very nice person once again.

A month or two later, her libido started to wane (she'd normally been the one pestering me for sex, not the other way around). Pretty soon it had disappeared altogether.

What ensued was close to a disaster. We were constantly at loggerheads on the issue of the lack of sexuality in our marriage. It got to the stage where I was accusing her of not loving me anymore (totally stoopid), and her accusing me of having nothing else on my mind except sex. Things got so bad that we were contemplating divorce, since we always seemed to be bickering.

At this point I decided to opt for chemical castration of some sort. I broached the subject with her and she agreed wholeheartedly. So off I went along to our present GP, not knowing what to expect.

To my surprise he was very understanding, and informed me that this was quite a common request. He prescribed some capsules, and then indicated that should they not work, we could consider a stronger form of medication or surgical castration with low level hormonal treatment.

I really was taken aback, having read about how difficult it is to obtain this sort of treatment. It seems that doctors here in South Africa are much more open to this kind of request. Having said that, I must point out that I am approaching 50, and have had a vasectomy some years ago, this probably did influence his decision. He also pointed out that correcting libido problems in females is much more difficult than in males, and can also be quite costly, so my decision was the easiest and cheapest option.

I have been taking these capsules for about a week and although my libido hasn't lowered, my erectile function seems to be fading.

Two days ago, my wife who hadn't really wanted to be informed of all the details ("Just get it over with, and we can get back to normal"), watched as I took my daily capsule, picked up the box, and informed me that there was something terribly wrong.

"These are the same capsules I'm taking to control the mood swings" she exclaimed. It was then that I started to take note of what was going on. I've pretty much always left things in the hands of a trusted doctor:(

It turns out that the capsules that we have both been taking is Nuzak. This is simply the local name for Prozac with exactly the same make up (fluoxetine hydrochloride). This is one of the SSRI drugs and leads to a loss of libido in both males and females.

So here's the irony of the whole situation: I'm taking this stuff to lose my libido because my wife has lost her libido from taking the stuff I am on now🙄

The fundamental problem here is that the doctor she visited in the beginning simply gave her this Nuzak without ever bothering to explain what the consequences would be. We then assumed that her loss of libido was due to being menopausal, aging etc. never once suspecting that Nuzak was at the root of the problem.

It was only after my visit to the doctor that we both realized that this is something that diminishes ones libido, and that's when I started investigating. My wife never suffered any noticeable discomfort when she started taking the drug. I, on the other hand, have suffered from headaches, dizziness, nausea and a general feeling of being disconnected (I am still in the initial phase of medication, and it seems that these horrible effects will disappear after 8 days to 2 weeks).

So I did quite a bit of research into Nuzak/Prozak (fluoxetine hydrochloride) and have come to realise that it is a pretty nasty drug. Besides the effects that I have mentioned above, which are short term and pretty minor, there are some very serious side effects, to the extent that this drug can be fatal if used together with other forms of medication (eg. medication to control blood pressure).

Needless to say we have now taken a much more enlightened decision to quit the medication (both of us) and see if things won't return to normal.

Here is the warning:-

DO NOT always assume the doctor is correct - do some of your own research. There are a lot of doctors out there that are from the "old school" who will very easily prescribe drugs, hysterectomies etc. simply because that is the way it has always been done.

Remember that in a lot of cases (not all, I will agree), the actual problem is NOT that you have a high libido, the fact is that your wife has lost hers!!! Try and get that sorted out before going the route that I did. It could be something as simple and could spare you a lot of heartache.

Regards,

Intelliflop

Amazing story. I think this Doctor needs a swift kick! Please keep up updated on how this goes. And to the other posts pointing out other solutions to sex drive incompatability I can't agree more. Destroying yours to match her "problem" is the last thing I would suggest. I think you both would be far happier with some meeting in the middle. And while I think divorse is a truly awful option I understand why its so common in the Menopausal years.
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Re: A warning to husbands who want to lower their libido!!!

Post by gpb3aol (imported) »

Hi Guys, just a note about doctors. Always, always get a second opinion if you don't like the answer and if it doesn't sound right.

Two years ago I had blood in my urine. I went to a local doctor (GP) in Yuma AZ and he took and x-ray and told me I had a kidney stone. I just didn't think he was very concerned about me and my problem. I found a urologist and he found I had a 6 centimeter cancer tumor. Some doctors gradate last in there class.

Take care.

Pauline
intelliflop (imported)
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Re: A warning to husbands who want to lower their libido!!!

Post by intelliflop (imported) »

Thanks for joining MRT...you seem to be a respected member around here, and NO ... this is not a story. "M" is now into her third day of withdrawal...and is getting as "Ratty" as you can get. We have decided on the following regime:-

I'll continue to take this medication until she has been "weaned". Thereafter I will stop. Everything in a controlled manner. We do not trust doctors much anymore...and would rather follow our own judgement.

It's kind of weird, "M" never really had any side effects starting the medication, but now withdrawal symptoms???? She is complaining of bad headaches, hot flushes, general instability. All of this should clear up in the next 3 - 4 days (hopefully). Heh heh...can't wait to have "wifey" back again...

Anyhow will keep everyone up to date.

Regards to everyone,

Intelliflop
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Re: A warning to husbands who want to lower their libido!!!

Post by BossTamsin (imported) »

That is the one thing doctors rarely tell patients. There is a not-insignificant percentage of people who experience severe withdrawal effects from SSRI's such as Prozac. Anyone taking them should never stop cold-turkey, but rather wean themselves off the medication slowly. With luck, any withdrawals should subside within a few days, but they can definitely be a rough few days.
I Worship Women (imported)
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Re: A warning to husbands who want to lower their libido!!!

Post by I Worship Women (imported) »

This shows you two things. First it shows that doctors don't always know everything and some doctors do a much better job of keeping up with the newest and latest medical news and information.

The other thing it shows is that no matter what the medical situation it is very important to have a doctor you can communicate with easily and effectively. When you go to the doctor you need to be ready to ask questions. You also need to ask the doctor to explain things including things you might not know to have asked.

If your doctor can't explain everything to you clearly and completely, if you and your doctor can't communicate easily, then maybe it's time to find a new doctor. After all, your health and even your life are at stake in this.
plix (imported)
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Re: A warning to husbands who want to lower their libido!!!

Post by plix (imported) »

I have been saying this for a long time. These medication ads that say "talk to your doctor about medication X" and "only your doctor can say Y" present these perfect doctors who know everything there is to know about the human body, all medical conditions, and all medications. They present these doctors, who are usually only GPs, as being able to instantly decide whether any medication is right for you, and also as being able to rattle off every single side effect of the medication and contraindications to taking it from memory immediately after making the decision.

If I asked my doctor if medication X was right for me, he would probably need to look it up even if he had heard of it. And he certainly would not be able to rattle off every side effect and contraindication without looking them up. For another thing, most doctors don't automatically tell you side effects or contraindications unless you specifically ask.

Basically, you can't always trust your doctor to know everything about medicine, because no doctor does. People need to take an active role in their own healthcare and do some of their own research (using reliable sources of course).

Yes, SSRIs are unpleasant. Most experience some type of sexual side effect, although lowered libdo is the rarest of the sexual side effects. Usually it is only delayed ejaculation, and sometimes impotence.

Also, SSRIs are not chemical castration, even though they might cause sexual side effects. Any doctor who says he does chemical castration all the time and then gives you an SSRI hasn't a clue what he is doing. Although it has been theorized that they may lower T, even if they do it is almost certainly not enough to qualify as castration.

NOTE: Nothing I said above should be construed to mean that I am suggesting anyone to go against a doctor's advice. Only doctors can make medical decisions and give medical advice. Always trust a doctor over trusting me.
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Re: A warning to husbands who want to lower their libido!!!

Post by gretna43 (imported) »

i must be lucky i have a great doctor who fully understood whay i wanted to be chemicaly castrated and put me on cypreteron when i went to see him my wife was with me and she told him she was more than happy for me to get chemicaly castrated we have become closer together now and i would say a stronger marraige than we had before
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