your computer skills!
Unbelievable,but supposedly all true!!!!
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Tech support: What kind of computer do you have?
Female customer: A white one...
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Customer: Hi, this is Maureen. I can't get my diskette out.
Tech support: Have you tried pushing the Button?
Customer: Yes, sure, it's really stuck.
Tech support: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note.
Customer: No , wait a minute... I hadn't inserted it yet... it's still on
my
desk.. Sorry....
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Tech support: Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of the
screen.
Customer: Your left or my left?
===============
Tech support: Good day. How may I help you?
Male customer: Hello... I can't print.
Tech support: Would you click on 'start' for me and.
Customer: Listen pal; don't start getting technical on me! I'm not Bill
Gates.
===============
Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time I
try, it says 'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted the printer and
placed
it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can't find
it...
============== =
Customer: I have problems printing in red...
Tech support: Do you have a color printer?
Customer: Aaaah...................thank you.
===============
Tech support: What's on your monitor now, ma'am?
Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me at Woolies.
===============
Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.
Tech support: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?
Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer.
Tech support: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.
Customer:! OK
Tech support: Did the keyboard come with you?
Customer: Yes
Tech support: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another
keyboard?
Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Ah...that one does work...
===============
Tech support: Your password is the smallletter 'a' as in apple, a
capital> letter V as in Victor, the number 7.
Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters ?
== =============
Customer: can't get on the Internet. Tech support:
Are you sure you used the right password?
Customer: Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.
Tech support: Can you tell me what the password was?
Customer: Five stars.
===============
Tech support: What anti-virus program do you use?
Customer: Netscape.
Tech support: That's not an anti-virus program.
Customer: Oh, sorry...Internet Explorer.
===============
Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver on my
computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears.
===============
Tech support: How may I help you?
Customer: I'm writing my first e-mail.
Tech support: OK, and what seems to be the problem?
Customer: Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I get
the
circle around it?
===============
A woman customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with her
printer.
Tech support: Are you running it under windows?
Customer: 'No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point. The
man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his printer
is
working fine.'
===============
And last but not least...
Tech support: 'Okay Colin, let's press the control and escape keys at the
same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now
type
the letter 'P ' to bring up the Program Manager.'
Customer: I don't have a P.
Tech support: On your keyboard, Colin.
Customer: What do you mean?
Tech support: 'P'.....on your keyboard, Colin.
Customer: I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT!!
