Heidi does Pahrump, Nevada

[Gil (imported)]

Perhaps you are right but I favor Paris Hilton. Heidi does not have to do those things now, she can make a better living in other ways. As far as her being innocent, she is about as innocent as O.J.

Nevada should not have to be the last greatest hope for the has-beens.

Pahrump is just about a couple dozen miles South of here. Prostitution is legal there. In fact, Nevada state law provides that any county with a population less than around half a mil (and that's every county in the state but two), can decide to have or not have brothels. There are three in Pahrump. According to a recent local news report, Pahrump has the highest rates in the state for a romp with a lady of the evening - $300 an hour. Maybe Heidi was interviewing for a job.

Anyway, judging by the photo of her in the news, the only way she could make $300 in a night would be to hand cuff herself between the urinals in a truck stop men's room. Even then, she'd have to turn down the lights. Like my neighbor said, he wouldn't fuck her with a rented dick.

[Dave (imported)]

It was a dark and stormy night and the rented dick was wearing a raincoat! Next to him, a GInger-boy Brit was eating spotted dick from the local roadhouse.

[A-1 (imported)]

It was a dark and stormy night and the rented dick was wearing a raincoat! Next to him, a GInger-boy Brit was eating spotted dick from the local roadhouse.

"Burrr..." he thinks to himself. "Why in the hell did I let that wench talk me into running around naked under my raincoat? I bet that Magnum P.I. never did this and HE was in Hawaii!"

Suddenly, two young girls in string bikinis ran past him in the rain, holding a strange-looking device between them, not unlike a bolt cutter, with one handle in the hand of each girl, spotting him in the raincoat they stopped to talk...

[FianceeUvBigGuy (imported)]

It was a dark and stormy night...

Plagiarism!!!! (See "Reflections In A...etc.)

Cold out there and your raving roving reporterette is gonna be on the lake by 8AM to school yet another male chauvinist in the art of bassfishing...

Then, home for a friend's birthday party...and another friend's birthday party tomorrow. (Will there be cake?)

Oh...Heidi Ho and Pahrump...right.

Seems to me that, rather than bug some faded rose (who was not much to look at in her younger days either,) for whatever she's alleged to have done, they need to be seeking a name change for their town.

Pahrump? WTH kind of name is that.

When I hear "Pahrump" I think of my dad's butt! Then you got your Mahrump (Which still interests Dad and looks pretty buff for a woman of her age.)

Of course, for sheer curvaceous beauty, there's...(you knew this was coming)...MYrump! (Population...never more than one, thank you!)

Well, considering some town names here in Texiz, I suppose Pahrump is acceptable.

We've got Dime Box, New Dime Box, Cut 'n Shoot, Iraan (2 "a"s), Idalou, Edcouch, Elsa, Big Lake (where there is NO lake, not even a decent pond,) Elysian Fields (gimme a break!), Arp, Swinney Switch, and a lake named Possum Kingdom. I could go on but, as always, I'm distracted by the idea of a lake whereon there's an island. Said island has this palace on it and said palace contains a throne (Well, duhhhh!). On said throne perches a rather large and dignified-looking possum, crown and all. Kind of like the Burger King guy, but with a prehensile tail, a pointy nose, and fewer whiskers.

I can only hope he's the benevolent despot type.

Oh, and a town that might be of interest to EA members...Tomball. (Poor Tom!)

Ash(leighhhhhhhh)! More kawfee! (and another breakfast taco, plizz.)

Yoli

The BEANO(TM) Poster Girl (See: The Effects of Breakfast Tacos And The Resulting Embarrassment They Can Cause In A Bass Boat. Published by The Institute For Flatulence Research.)

PS: Yes! Girls do "pass gas". However, my emissions, in particular, are redolent of roses and exit my adorable pink 'n puckered fundament with a pianissimo "Poof" rather than a crude "Fraaaaaaap!". So there!

You guys have a wider repertoire, featuring the attention-getting "Flutterblatt", the subtle-but-deadly little "Freep", and the feared empty-your-trousers "Splotchyblot". (Thanks to one of my bosses for those names.)

SHUT UP AND FISH, YOLI!

'K, sorry.

[A-1 (imported)]

7920]
It was a dark and stormy night...

Plagiarism!!!! (See "Reflections In A...etc.)

Cold out there and your raving roving reporterette is gonna be on the lake by 8AM to school yet another male chauvinist in the art of bassfishing...

Then, home for a friend's birthday party...and another friend's birthday party tomorrow. (Will there be cake?)

Oh...Heidi Ho and Pahrump...right.

Seems to me that, rather than bug some faded rose (who was not much to look at in her younger days either,) for whatever she's alleged to have done, they need to be seeking a name change for their town.

Pahrump? WTH kind of name is that.

When I hear "Pahrump" I think of my dad's butt! Then you got your Mahrump (Which still interests Dad and looks pretty buff for a woman of her age.)

Of course, for sheer curvaceous beauty, there's...(you knew this was coming)...MYrump! (Population...never more than one, thank you!)

Well, considering some town names here in Texiz, I suppose Pahrump is acceptable.

We've got Dime Box, New Dime Box, Cut 'n Shoot, Iraan (2 "a"s), Idalou, Edcouch, Elsa, Big Lake (where there is NO lake, not even a decent pond,) Elysian Fields (gimme a break!), Arp, Swinney Switch, and a lake named Possum Kingdom. I could go on but, as always, I'm distracted by the idea of a lake whereon there's an island. Said island has this palace on it and said palace contains a throne (Well, duhhhh!). On said throne perches a rather large and dignified-looking possum, crown and all. Kind of like the Burger King guy, but with a prehensile tail, a pointy nose, and fewer whiskers.

I can only hope he's the benevolent despot type.

Oh, and a town that might be of interest to EA members...Tomball. (Poor Tom!)

Ash(leighhhhhhhh)! More kawfee! (and another breakfast taco, plizz.)

Yoli

The BEANO(TM) Poster Girl (See: The Effects of Breakfast Tacos And The Resulting Embarrassment They Can Cause In A Bass Boat. Published by The Institute For Flatulence Research.)

PS: Yes! Girls do "pass gas". However, my emissions, in particular, are redolent of roses and exit my adorable pink 'n puckered fundament with a pianissimo "Poof" rather than a crude "Fraaaaaaap!". So there!

You guys have a wider repertoire, featuring the attention-getting "Flutterblatt", the subtle-but-deadly little "Freep", and the feared empty-your-trousers "Splotchyblot". (Thanks to one of my bosses fo
[/quote]
r those names.)

SHUT UP AND FISH, YOLI!

'K, sorry.

Hey Yoli!

Pahrump? WTH kind of name is that.

...how about this?

Come he told you PAHRUMP PAHRUMP PUM... He wants your eyes to roll PAHRUMP PAHRUMP PUM ...et cetera, et cetera...

(Notice that I stopped before your ox and ass had to 'keep time'.)



OUCH!!!

[FianceeUvBigGuy (imported)]

It

was a dark and stormy night...

Hey Yoli!

...how about this?

Come he told you PAHRUMP PAHRUMP PUM... He wants your eyes to roll PAHRUMP PAHRUMP PUM ...et cetera, et cetera...

(Notice that I stopped before you

r ox and ass had to 'keep time'.)



OUCH!!!



Steak Sauce,

I get home from church, smooch Ash(leigh), turn on the 'puter, re-kiss Ash(leigh), and then I find your post.

Someday...some glorious day....We'll meet. And then...only then...

I KEEL YOU!

Among my least-favorite Christmas songs, THAT one is most definitely listed! For some reason it drives me bah-nahhh-nahs.

BTW, we ate the Ox years ago, during The Great San Antonio Fajita Famine.

(Kinda like the Irish Potato Famine, only without the drama OR blaming the British.)

My ass, which my dad labels "Cuter than a bug's rear." (He thinks he's funny.), is still firmly (thank God!) attached. Oh, it DOES keep time, so long as my partner understands the concept of relative/reciprocal motion.

Fishing yesterday was pretty OK, despite winds that were somewhat more than predicted. We found a dead deer floating too, but we ate only a little before returning it to the water...NOT!

Back to "Pahrump-Pahrump-Pummmm"; Come Christmas, maybe we can all list our favorite carols and noels and each can post a link to his/hers...YewTewb must have them all by now.

Please note that "Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer" is NOT eligible!

Since retailers start marketing Christmas ever-earlier (makes me sad and angry, BTW,) here's a "teaser" to get the idea rolling in everyone's widdle heads. YOUR fave follows mine in the video.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0inp9eRM ... re=related

Well, I prefer Pavarotti (RIP...sniff:( ), but I'm honoring my mom with Mr(?) Mathis's version. Not bad. Not bad at all.

Well, time to go and start the fires and mix the martinis and manhattans. We're entertaining a few folks with a little feast of grilled shrimp, deep-fried catfish, various grilled veggies, fries, salad, and some ice cream 'n pie.

Pray for my waistline!

Love to all,

Yoli

(Letting Ash[leigh] do most of the work. I'll serve as "Quality Control".) and stay out of the way.)

[Uncle Flo (imported)]

If

"Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer" is

not eligible, would you consider "Dashing Through The Snow In A Four Door Chevrolet" as a substitute? --FLO--

[FianceeUvBigGuy (imported)]

If [quote="FianceeUvBigGuy (imported)" tim

e=1205112900]
"Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer" is

not eligible, would you consider "Dashing Throu
[/quote]
gh The Snow In A Four Door Chevrolet" as a substitute? --FLO--

Hmmmm...wellllll...errrrrr....ummmm....NEAUX! But if you wish, you may submit something a bit more dignified, perhaps "Have a Holly Jolly Christmas", one of my sister's faves (God knows why) by some dead old guy named Burl Ives.

Yoli, Your Scantily Clad Weather Girl, is pleased to report that SA has finally gotten some serious rain! Flood warnings for small creeks and low spots in the roads. That means I don't have to leave home today...Yayyyyy! There's one low spot on the rather rural road whereon we dwell, y'see, and more than one person has perished there in the past. I may be a semi-Olympian (riiiight!) swimmerette, but it's kinda hard to do the breast-stroke (now who in the world would want to stroke my breast?...Silly idea!) in an overturned and submerged vehicle.

I WAS on a synchronized swimming team in my teens, but I'm afraid strong current would make it impossible to hover upside-down with my carefully pedi-ed toes pointed into the air. But, as a special offer for the foot fetish crowd, I might perform in private. Cash only, please.

In other news...I may have to find a new place for my sorta-weekly mani-pedis. A long time ago I mentioned here that the girl who does them was a bit "friendly", especially when doing the pedis. Wellllllll, she has taken it, or tried to take it, to the next level. I won't bore you with details but suffice it to say that arranging an after-hours session was, perhaps, not so good an idea. On the other hand, if I could somehow elicit some admission that castration excited her, she might have potential as a member of the KKK, so long as she understood that membership benefits do not automatically entitle her to take liberties. Talk about a butch! Wow! Pretty, but definitely butch...even rides a motorcycle to work and plays FOOTBALL with some other girls in some sort of sandlot "league". I'd bet I'd NEVER get to wear the strap-on...snap-on...whatever.

Soooooo...Time to go for a swim, in the rain, in the pool. Then, maybe some more kawfee and some biscotti.

Love to all,

Yoli

Part-time mermaid. Full-time sweetheart.

[BossTamsin (imported)]

Geez, no

"Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer",

no "Dashing Through The Snow in a Four Door Chevrolet".... where's the fun?

I know! This one has to be allowed! (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OIaxHZtN ... re=related) (Alternate version (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kz2GcfmVFE8))

[A-1 (imported)]

Geez, no [quote="FianceeUvBigGuy (imported)" t

ime=1205112900]
"Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer",

no "Dashing Through The Snow in a Four Door Chevrolet".... where's the fun?

I know! This one has to be allowed! (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OIaxHZtN ... re=related) (
[/quote]
Alternate version (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kz2GcfmVFE8))

RIGHT HERE...

BTW, we ate the Ox years ago, during The Great San Antonio Fajita Famine.

(Kinda like the Irish Potato Famine, only without the drama OR blaming the British.)

My ass, which my dad labels "Cuter than a bug's rear." (He thinks he's funny.), is still firmly (thank God!) attached. Oh, it DOES keep time, so long as my partner understands the concept of relative/reciprocal motion.

...that is, reciprocating as in a C-R-A-N-K SHAFT

...small crank, LARGE SHAFT... all together, it makes for some great **** INTERNAL COMBUSTION!

VRRRROOOM! VRRROOOM!

BTW, can I pick the method of my DEMISE?