Sounds like you are having the effects of castration. It is hard to say if you are fully with out testosterone just from the effects. The best way to really know is to have a blood test done. I thought I was shut down but found that I was only partly shut down. So before you take the final step get a test to really make sure you are experiencing all the effects to the fullest.
Am very happy that you like what you have experienced so far and that it is the life you want. Being a eunuch is not for most people. Many think they want it but few are truly happy once done.
I think I finally found it!
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bobbie (imported)
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tr_80504 (imported)
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Re: I think I finally found it!
Thanks for the input and encouragement. I agree that a blood test is the only way to be sure. I was taking 50 mg of siterone 2 times a day and tested at 66 and then when tested about 3 months latter I was up too 124 so I upped my dose to 75 mg 2times per day and and will be tested again in December. My GP is aware but not involved in my self medication other than he adds the T test to my blood work for my cholesterol since my testosterone is low 
. He said if I really want to get into it he would refer me to a endocrinologist, but I am not sure I want to go that route as I seem to read that in most cases it does little good. At this point my GP has not put anything in my medical records. So I am hesitant to go forward and have it in my records and have nothing come of seeing a endocrinologist. I might be mistaken but it seems to me that it might screw with your insurance in the long run. Please correct me if I am wrong.
Thanks Terry
. He said if I really want to get into it he would refer me to a endocrinologist, but I am not sure I want to go that route as I seem to read that in most cases it does little good. At this point my GP has not put anything in my medical records. So I am hesitant to go forward and have it in my records and have nothing come of seeing a endocrinologist. I might be mistaken but it seems to me that it might screw with your insurance in the long run. Please correct me if I am wrong.Thanks Terry
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nullorchis (imported)
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Re: I think I finally found it!
This is current, not historical information.
I never wanted to take chemicals to lower my libido, and while I always desired castration the cost of and potential risks of surgery always kept me from actually going through with surgery.
Out of frustration I abused my balls in an attempt to damage them and keep them from functioning. It has taken awhile for me to finally discover what drove me to engage in this type of self-abuse .
Eventually (earlier this year) I finally managed to get my balls to stop producing testosterone. Thoughts of sex and physical ability to engage in any kind of sexual subsided. I could not get an erection or ejaculate. My balls got hard and shrank. I had no night time erections. I became essentially a eunuch (but with balls). I also had no longer thoughts of or desire for castration and I no longer engaged in self-abuse.
Elimination of testosterone production, regardless of the cause, does have negative medical implications so last month I started HRT to raise my testosterone level. Observing the Doctor's prescription I found that after 5 weeks my libido returned, thoughts of sex returned, the desire to be castrated returned and I started engaging in self abuse again.
So, later this month, after a T-count is done, I will reduce the HRT very slowly until I find a level that enables me to obtain some health benefits of testosterone, but eliminate the mental negatives of too much testosterone.
If there is one thing that I see as common to this thread, and other threads, it is to get rid of the mental and physical sexual tension that testosterone seems to cause. I don't think that I want to live out life with no T. I experienced no T for a few months and for me there were some undesirable emotional consequences. An elevated T-count while on HRT has sent me back towards the sexual tensions I previously experienced.
If I stop HRT, I will certainly return to a super low or no-T level, so I always have that option. Now that I am using HRT I very much enjoy being in control of my T-level, instead of it being in control of me. Mind over matter is much preferable than matter over mind.
I never wanted to take chemicals to lower my libido, and while I always desired castration the cost of and potential risks of surgery always kept me from actually going through with surgery.
Out of frustration I abused my balls in an attempt to damage them and keep them from functioning. It has taken awhile for me to finally discover what drove me to engage in this type of self-abuse .
Eventually (earlier this year) I finally managed to get my balls to stop producing testosterone. Thoughts of sex and physical ability to engage in any kind of sexual subsided. I could not get an erection or ejaculate. My balls got hard and shrank. I had no night time erections. I became essentially a eunuch (but with balls). I also had no longer thoughts of or desire for castration and I no longer engaged in self-abuse.
Elimination of testosterone production, regardless of the cause, does have negative medical implications so last month I started HRT to raise my testosterone level. Observing the Doctor's prescription I found that after 5 weeks my libido returned, thoughts of sex returned, the desire to be castrated returned and I started engaging in self abuse again.
So, later this month, after a T-count is done, I will reduce the HRT very slowly until I find a level that enables me to obtain some health benefits of testosterone, but eliminate the mental negatives of too much testosterone.
If there is one thing that I see as common to this thread, and other threads, it is to get rid of the mental and physical sexual tension that testosterone seems to cause. I don't think that I want to live out life with no T. I experienced no T for a few months and for me there were some undesirable emotional consequences. An elevated T-count while on HRT has sent me back towards the sexual tensions I previously experienced.
If I stop HRT, I will certainly return to a super low or no-T level, so I always have that option. Now that I am using HRT I very much enjoy being in control of my T-level, instead of it being in control of me. Mind over matter is much preferable than matter over mind.